Where were these feelings of peace when
I was younger. Back when I overthought
everything and strove too hard for more
than merely enough.

I have limits
For I am only human,
Imperfect in body
And with a feeble mind.
I reach for the stars
Anyway.

What if i was better?
What if i wasn't depressed?
What if our friendship was real?
What if you hadn't confessed?

Confessed that i wasn't enough,
Confessed that i wasn't your friend.
What if you didn't want to fix me?
What if our friendship wasn't pretend?

What if you really fixed me?
What if your intentions we're real?
Why did you break me apart,
If you just wanted me to heal.

I look forward to the day I fail my final,
Because it’ll mean I tried.
I look forward to the day a girl rejects me,
Because it’ll mean I had courage.
I look forward to the day I’m arrested,
Because it’ll mean I found a boundary.
I look forward to the day I get lines on my forehead,
Because it’ll mean I earn them.

I look forward to the day I argue with my wife,
Because it’ll mean I found my person.
I look forward to the day my child is difficult,
Because it’ll mean I see him grow, change.
I look forward to the day I die of old age,
Because it’ll mean I lived.

I'll enjoy these good moments
Quietly worrying about tomorrow
Quietly preparing myself
So if the pain finds its way back to me
I won't be completely broken.