I wanted to write you a poem

but I could not feel the flow

so I watched the sky change

from blue to grey

a spring breeze blew

& dead leaves rallied

in a circular motion

which drew me in & picked

me up for a few seconds

to feel the rays of the sun

oh spring, it’s only just begun.

the ground is brown &

the trees still bare.

I don’t want to care
I  know that we’ve got nothing

left to share, no extra feelings left to spare.

I hope to go where the wind blows,

who knew that meant leaving you behind.

some nights never seem to end,

& I juggle all the words in my head

it’s just
if only
I’d like to share

my heart.

hot but cold, yes
still recovering
yet I want another holiday
already I've laid here too long
& the itch to flee
builds again inside of me
it felt like a blur, but I sure
cried like hell & the fever never
seemed to let go
so I slept & slept,
& woke to puddles full of sweat
& dreamt of somewhere maybe
we could go.
I thought we could take holiday
somewhere near, maybe far
take a boat, or possibly car
I could pack one bag
or how about a few?
still recovering
yet I am ready to go
because this place isn't home
& I want something new

shelter shelter, bring me a storm
& i'm working on forgiving
funny beacause I wanted to say
working on leaving the living.
forgive me oh forgive oh forget
it *******.
& NOFX
progress, rock this
patience, guide us
kindness, blind us.
curiosity of 1984
& what's to come
It don't look good,
you'd better run.

occupy the body, I am waiting
for challenge, for a shift, until
the dress just fits.
but I lay, I am lying,
looking in the mirror,
trying too hard, again.
trying harder than ever
to walk with my head held
high, higher than my ego.
Spring, wake unto me,
my spirit needs shaking.
eyes glazed, passing by,
the elephant in the living room.

a dream where I jumped
over all of the steps
leading to the basement.
a blue house,
ivy crawled the walls
from the outside in.
I jumped the steps
to chase a rabbit.
The stairs disappeared
and I was stranded.
Ivy hung from the cellar
door above my head.

now I lay me down to sleep,
I hoped for snow, the refrigerator
hums, I am buried.
rain mists spits
and I am over this.
wake me in the moonlight,
close my  eyes and I am there.
walk with me, we're on the moon.
it's chilly but we're too busy dancing.
I wish you didn't see me twisted,
but  I know you do.
It's alright, it's sorta true.
I knit knots in my belly,
it's turning me blue
and it's heavy.
shake me just a little,
hold me till midnight.
laaadeee daaaa dee

did i forget to tell you?!
the mountains and the sea!
rolling and roaring
off the shores of new jersey
i call your name
and you splash me
I CAN'T SEE
I CAN'T See.
No more, I am free.
Can you hear me?
I am screaming,
the mountains and the sea!
You are all, you are one
summer sea foam.
it's humble, it's numbing
you're laughing and soaring
and watching me run.