It's been a hard night
the air is chilly and the sky is bright
but light has yet seeped through my window pane
my body carries a darkness
that only certain feelings can repair
regretting and fretting about my subtle prayers
knowing they won't save me anymore
praying that this cigarette won't **** me
while the cold sweat trickles out of my pores
when the light finally shines through, I'll be happy
and this grey cloud will finally go away

Pretty girl hanging from the ceiling, tell me your story.
Was Mommy an addict and did Daddy like to smack you?
Did Daddy skip town and did Mommy bring all of her boyfriends around?
Did Mommy or Daddy have a special game they liked to play?

Pretty girl dangling, please, tell me your name.
Tell me about how vile you think you are, how it's your fault they took it so far.
Tell me about the fake smile you wore daily.
Tell me about the one best friend you had, the one who knew everything.
Tell me about the neighbor boy you secretly loved, but were too scared to tell him.
Tell me this rope around your neck was an accident.

Pretty girl dead, I will whisper sweet things to you.
I will remember your story and your name.
I will remember your best friend, and I'll tell the neighbor boy how much you loved him.
I will hold you close to my heart, for you were brave.
Yet you weren't strong enough.

Pretty girl, rest in peace.

I needed
the strength
of your
silence.

So, thank you.

I've forgotten your touch
And the fabrication of your skin
The tired sarcasm in your jokes
Has somehow escaped my mind
I don't remember the structure of the jaw
I once was able to trace
In the middle of the night with tired eyes
The last time I looked at your picture
I could still pinpoint the raspy, dry tone of your voice
I've realized that the spark in your eyes
Was not ambition, or the stars
It was the lights of a town that will soon burn down
Your shy smile has stopped being a metaphor
For a knife in my chest or a bullet to my head
Is this what I'm supposed to call "recovery"

Maybe I'm just a sucker for a pretty face,
but when I see your name, or at least, half of it,
my heart skips a beat.
I suppose it's only because I can imagine
being lost in your eyes forever.
I'm just a stranger, but when I know you feel so alone,
I really do wish that I could be with you.
Heal you.
Feel you.
Maybe I'm just sentimental.

Sometimes all we want is to be held
To be told its all ok and fears gone away
To be gently kissed our hair tugged and stroked
To be covered in oil and our weary limbs rubbed

Other days we are filled with the devil and a demon inside
That makes you twitch and feel deprived
Makes you just want to loose control, bent over and banged like swinging door
Then the feeling goes again
Left empty
Cold
And alone