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 Jan 2014 rachel
collin
warm words.
 Jan 2014 rachel
collin
naIve
            Longing
           fOr something
    not eVen a lot
      just Enough
   i founD you
  or did You find me
  three wOrds i could never
              Utter again because you              
                                      kept them.
 Jan 2014 rachel
SRS
Magic and lies
I don't want people to see it either

I read a play
about a woman
who was slowly
being drawn into insanity
Called
A Streetcar Named Desire
her name was Blanche Dubois
pronounced 'Dubwa'

and I could relate
to the way she swayed
between reality and fantasy

how she felt
when she said
she wished to give
magic
to people
and that was the only
reason she lied
so to cover up the darkness
the unaccepted insides
the parts she knew
nobody would like

the way she craved
to fill in a space
which she deep down knew
would never go away
I was in her shoes
I heard the polka music too
and the BANG
I felt the pain
in my own way
through this women
who was made up
for entertainment
who doesn't even exist

and I'd never tell a soul but you
will you keep my secret?
I based this off of a play *A Streetcar Named Desire* By: Tennessee Williams. We took it apart in my English class for school...and I felt so drawn to this character. She's one I will always remember. I highly recommend to read the play, its amazing, especially when you get so deep into the characters.
 Jan 2014 rachel
RA
i.   My mother's elbows. They
     are too sharp and they twitch
     in the direction of your ribs
     when you invade
     her personal space.

ii.  Needing anything too much. Cutting
     or writing or even
     my own friends.

iii. Fast rides down mountains. I
     remember each one, looking
     out the window, wondering if
     tonight was the night
     finally we would go
     plunging over the tiny
     railing.

iv. Gangs of little kids. Don't
     tell me they don't know
     what they are doing. Children
     are cruel.

v.  Metaphors of fists raining down
     all over your body. I'm
     sorry, I cannot listen
     to your metaphors, when
     they make my skin tingle and
     my hackles raise and
     my heart play out the dance
     of old fears.

vi. Anyone having leverage. Too
     many times, showing caring
     for a thing has seen it
     confiscated. Also, anyone knowing
     I care at all.

vii. Discovering that the scars gifted
      to me are not healed and
      long car rides and
      her elbows and
      cruel children and
      impending addictions and
      openly loving and
      your metaphors make
      me bleed along
      old fault-lines.
January 14, 2014
12:42 AM
Barely edited
 Jan 2014 rachel
Andrew Durst
If
  Nothing
        Is
Wrong
        And I have
             Nothing
   To worry about.
     How come
I still
     Can't
Sleep
         at
              Night?
 Jan 2014 rachel
David Bojay
I stopped thinking about which tree I wanted to hang from
But I still think about it, and it'll haunt me for a while
I'd picture myself getting praised, while dead
Looking down with no stare
I'll feel significant above others
Just a few feet above the ground could change my view
But it'll be too late
Imagine running in heaven and falling in love with the devil
Would you do anything for your love
Would you walk downstairs for a kiss
I'm looking at this board in my room and it says "life is good"
Thats contradictory to a kid who smokes *** and who's mom thinks he's a Christian
Maybe God gave up on me
Wouldn't you **** yourself if the person you loved the most stopped loving you?
Question after question
Thoughts turn into shots to the head
Its 4:31 and this cigarette is burning out beside the church by my house
Holy smokes
I need to go home, it's cold
Plus I think there's pizza at home, I think
Later
 Jan 2014 rachel
A
"Girls shouldn't smoke"
I'm sorry sir, say that again?
Tell that to the 15 year old hispanic girl who sold her virtue under the guidance of the traffic lights to pay off her mother's cancer bills.
Tell that to the wife of a man who
beat
beat
beats her, because some nights she refuses to kneel at his supposed genital altar and confess her sins.
Tell that to the girl who has spent 6 months carving her home address into her forearms,  hoping that her Mum would smell the rust and come and rescue her.
Tell that to the girl who was stolenshackleddruggedsold under the consent of her father who used her body as a paycheck to settle his blackjack debt.
To the lonely girl. The ugly girl. The fat girl. The anorexic girl.  The bulimic girl.  The girl.
"Girls shouldn't smoke."
Tell that to the women who find their prayers in the daily grace that is, nicotine.
Just like men do.
 Jan 2014 rachel
Emily Dickinson
1680

Sometimes with the Heart
Seldom with the Soul
Scarcer once with the Might
Few—love at all.
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