I love you to death
And so I depart
Shattered heart
I'm sick of sorry
Being torn apart

I believe in my dreaming
Where I see you depart
Jealousy ringing
I give you what's left of me
On the corner of the street

I hope you will see me

***** ashes
In a pile of roses
Petals
I am falling
Twisting and turning
Yearning for affection
While whispering that I want to be alone
Not sure which to hone
I'm trying to remember words
That make me feel at home
Although I forget
I will not regret
Time spent thinking

the sin in me is as bright as the sun
shrouded in clouds
as I'm crowded with doubts
if I can change,
and if I do,
who will I be?
all I can hope is for my sensitivity
to project in more positive ways
leaving me less empty
in my darkened haze

this depression is a lesson
I'm guessing from the guilt
of all the things I said and did
while running from myself

perhaps I never really left
when I was trying to disappear
instead just rumbled and rearranged
my darkest parts, they took the stage

today I feel very much different
it's just the beginning
but at least it's a start

I'm tired of being dramatic
focusing on what doesn't matter
will never set me free
looking inward instead of forward
because beauty dwells far too deep
for me and my **** mindset
the regret that holds me down
I want to look in the mirror
and be proud with what I've found

A reflection of comfort
and a humming birds sound

My inspiration has been on vacation,
broken heart stole my aspirations.

Anything better than this.
Is there?
Anything better than this.

Coffee, Cigarettes,
freeways and bees
Sitting outside
beneath the trees
All sun
No breeze
Still thinking that my heart
might freeze

I woke up this morning
Wanting to cry
Wishing I could write
Living a lie

Unsure
Back and forth
I'm a pendulum
In a storm
Swinging
Back and forth

Drinking only leads
a person into making decisions
a person wouldn't make with a sober mind.
A weakness of character and confidence.
Refuse to be weak.
Stand tall.
Be humble.
Love.
Live in truth.
Embrace the Darkness and the Light which reside in all.
Forgive.
Adapt.
Flux.
Feel!
Heal and be Healed.
Perceive the Now and move Forward.
Look in the Mirror.
Reflect.
Receive.
Process.
Continue.

Brutality been building up
Cutting through the marrow
Feels like pork, penny flavored
High tension cord, aroma savored
Laced with liquid hydrocodone
World fades to black as the cleaver falls
(As the cleaver falls)
As the cleaver falls!

Spoken like a true warrior, you scheme
Despise it, revised it like a million times, it
Hurts to think that if it were tangible
I would probably just **** it to death
Scared to let myself get a handle
On the last human feelings I have left

She was a no one, a ghost
Her family left her in her glory days
Tell me, would you even have known
If I chose to keep it hidden away?

White lines on roadsides
Up my ******* nose again
I could **** it twice
This feeling I feel in the end

Every **** time I feel the cleaver fall
It's the whole night over again
A twisted groundhog day forever
Been runnin' since the very first ******
It's been building up
The brutality
And I can finally feel the release
Of the fatality
I'm balancing
Between the oncoming
Traffic
They'll say it was tragic
But not for me
Because I wanted to ******* end it

A shallow grave beckoning
Her bones like excellency
The eel in the cold pit
Slippery like new cement
Slow descent
No incentive
To respect the dead
Feeling the bile rise
Letting it coat her insides
The smell like hospitals
After a travesty

If I could put it in to words
I would just **** it red
Or beat it until my knuckles bled
And I know that if I find some help
I would satisfy
The sickest parts of me
So who the **** is next?

Don't ask me for my number, kid.
Kiss your mama goodbye