Every day I had to dig through
deeply rooted malignancies
and clusters of phosphorescent
spider eggs and webs full of
dead flies draped throughout a
long-abandoned domain
once inhabited
by my mind
the roots pushed and
twisted their way through
thick walls of the
foundations and membranes
of spirit mind and body
where I didn't even know
how to feel, all I knew is
that I had crossed unseen
no trespassing signs
in life among the living
I lived as though I were dead
In the midst of vast human
knowledge I held
vast emptiness instead
This lack of substance was
all that was left in my mind
I found myself trying to buy
back more of what I
had to
leave behind
my mind and spirit were in
lockdown; in this death I
began to die. when I was
high I felt let down;
in the truth I saw a lie.
the dawn of each new day
filled the sky with hues of a
darker light. since all of
the windows were barred
and boarded-up
the only way I could see
glimpses of a brighter
light or others living life
were through any thin
little cracks I could find
like an addict trying to
avoid their addiction
each new day and every
waking hour I would find
myself learning what I was
losing my mind
trying to forget
I was so sick and tired of
d . . . always going down.
o
w
n
truth only strengthened
this neurotic depression
but in the throes of pain and
breakdown I found hope in
a New Day. when I was lost
in the cycles of confusion
I at least found pieces of
peace and pieces of mind
along the way
when I die with the sun in
the midst of the evening
I now find enough faith
to believe I will
rise with it again
when I seem to have lost
all of my chances I clutch
desperately to any strand
of a chance to begin
saving what's left of my mind
buying what used to be mine.
©2025 Daniel Irwin Tucker
Coping with depression and winning!