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 Sep 2014 Paula Lee
Helen
Death came to me at just 15
my brother never made it home
He died as a simple passenger
a car accident victim, not alone
It came to me again at 27
my cousin who became my brother,
lit himself on fire, literally
because he had no other
but he was married, with 2 kids
she had left him earlier
you could still smell the burnt rubber
from her skids...
It came to me 6 years ago
when my Dad succumbed to Cancer
the big C, to see him weakening
was a blow, but he started to know
God at this time.
It made me angry!
First to recognise his Athiesim
Second to see him succumb
Third to finally see him bribe
his way through remaining time
What do you know?
perhaps God recognised his crime...
Death comes to me
every time I read the news
It hits just as hard
as if I knew
each and every soul lost
even though they are just names
written on paper
I think I might know death
just like you do
I mourn, but prefer
It waits for me
*Later
 Sep 2014 Paula Lee
Traveler
I faced the demon of lies who lives within my soul
Now there’s no way in hell I’d let your people go
I mortify my love in the fires of your pain
Burning eternally hot, did you spread my fame?
Blood red those evil eyes, sing a wicked lullaby
Relax, don’t cry, there’ll be time to pay when you die
Do you believe in sins redeemed, do you believe in dreams?

Let the sun beat down and shine on us
While we sing and dance, in god we trust
And when it rains which it eventually will
Let’s blame the devil for the rage we feel
Let every man, woman, boy and girl
Find their place in this crazy world
And crazier yet before we die
Let’s take a chance and believe some lies
Traveler Tim

re to 8-18
Slowly
A
Feather
Falls
Low

Discarded by its wing
Dropped away
Without a thought

It drifted, pulled
Pushed
By currents
Beyond it's control
Tugged and tousled
Tossed like a boat in the storm

This is life
Too many thrown away
Drifting to make a difference
Or crushed beneath the heels of bills

Bouncing back and forth
Without, they say, their chance
But, it's personal
When I say
The chance
Is in your
Hands
Right
Now

So take a breathe
Take another
Look to the skies, the stars
Then grit your teeth
Work your fingers
They'll bleed
You'll pay
But

In the end, you'll see
You are the shining
You were meant to be
 Sep 2014 Paula Lee
Traveler
She’s dancing and spinning in circles
Her arms open wide
The joy of life shining from her eyes
Her mommy and daddy love her so good
All her aspects so well understood

No dysfunctions, no issues
No wars to be won
Just beauty and perfection
And love by the tons

Unfortunately it’s only an illusion
And the truth is very sad
Her mother’s a low-down ******
She had *** with her dad

She may be coming she may be going
She’s not really sure
Her life is been moving so **** quickly
That her memories are a blur...
A girl I once knew, very sad reality.
 Sep 2014 Paula Lee
Mercurychyld
As I sit here
quietly,
thinking,
tears spill for strangers
as I try desperately
to rationalize
(to absolutely NO avail),
the heinous and
morbid act carried out
by this...DAD.
I find my mind,
my heart,
in utter turmoil.

Can’t help but wonder
what their last thoughts were,
what they were feeling.
Did they cry in hysterics,
or (as I was trained to do)
quietly, to themselves?
Did they beg DADDY
for their little lives?
Did they beg DADDY
not to hurt them?
Did the oldest
shield the younger ones,
before the lights went out?

My soul in despair.
My ‘Mother instincts’
just wanna scream,
lash out,
find the monster
and destroy him.
Splay him on a slab,
like t.v.’s
favorite serial killer
would.

Make him pay,
slowly,
a long, arduous,
drawn out
painful DEATH.

It’s but a drop in
the bucket
of what that
fiendish ***** deserves.
His soul is empty,
so, there’s nothing
real to terminate.

The tears flow,
my thoughts in chaos,
and my ‘mothers heart’
mourns them all;
these five little souls
I’ve never met.

I do pray
they come across
my own departed
little boy in Heaven,
and find a joyous place
for them to run and play
and be the children
they weren’t allowed
to be,
before their fragile lives
were cruelly snuffed out
by someone who
was supposed to
love and protect.

They were candles
in the wind,
not meant to
be here long.
This maddening act
makes NO sense
to me;
these daily horrors
that happen in this
dark world
where we all reside,
kills yet another piece
of me,
one wicked story at
a time.

I’m sure every loving parent
and anyone who’s ever
loved a child
would be distraught
and mortified,
as I find myself to be.

I can only think on them
and Pray
that their little souls
will find true
Peace now,
through God’s
passageway.


-by Mercurychyld
Copyrights
(Re: the SC ‘father’
who killed all 5
of his kids,
and dumped their
bodies in Alabama)
There are no pictures of the forgotten child
just second hand memories
of a police station handmedown
and too many mothers.

There are no echoes of my smile to be found in family albums

No book to lovingly hold the dates of firsts unwitnessed by love.

Yellowed paper bears witness to my existence, a name given, typed above that of an unknown Father and a mother too new to bear my needs.

There are no tales of first days and birthdays, no tears of joy at my arrival, nor at my loss.
Just me, a girl with no past and a stolen future, screaming at shadows while clutching at straws, hoping that someday my face will be reflected by that which I did not create.
 Sep 2014 Paula Lee
Mercurychyld
Woman: “I know you’re there, I always know,
                  so please, come out.
                  We have so much to talk about.”

Child: “I’m just always scared and alone, it
             really hurts to be me.
             All I am is everything they don’t want
             me to be.”

Woman: “You missed out on so much care and
                  affection, but now we can help each
                   other find the right path and direction.”

Child: “Oh, it’s ok.
             I’m never good enough.
             Guess I never really deserved
             love or affection anyway.”

Woman: “Please don’t say that, don’t let’em
                  convince you that **** drivel is
                  true.
                  I’ve known you well, always, and I
                  truly DO...Love you.”

Child: “No matter how I tried, I could never
             please, or do ANYTHING right.
             I’m just SO tired of this fight.”

Woman:” I know, my fragile child, that’s why
                  I’m still learning to be
                  everything you need and needed,
                  you see?
                  Because, my little one, we must
                  both realize and always remember
                  that we are never quite alone...

                  ‘cause I am YOU, and you are ME!”



-by Mercurychyld
Copyrights
* Note to Self *
 Sep 2014 Paula Lee
Jack
If it is true

Each day brings something,
good or bad it comes
Leaving us wondering,
what does this mean…
when sidewalks roll up or gates unlock
inviting our movement or hindering it
When clouds form pictures
dark or light they appear
and we stare in belief that they are for us

When maybe they are not

Counting sunbeams
in relation to the shadows
cast upon our smiles
Do we smile or do we just pretend,
failing to accept the truth
that life is not fair
Even under the bluest skies
rain can fall
whether we accept it or not

And never do

Can we mask the heart,
hide it from ourselves
not feel the pain, the sadness,
the emptiness leaving gaps
Huge crevices in what we wanted,
what we hoped for,
what we dreamed about
with eyes open and thoughts frantic
of love, for love…in love

It never ends, it never ends

if it is true…
 Sep 2014 Paula Lee
SG Holter
The five ton cast iron sheet
Hit him above the hips.

His top half survived in hospital
For a few days.

Use certified utilities when
Lifting with a crane.

Don't use a knife for a screwdriver.
Don't challenge a step ladder.

Don't use your partner as a
Lever to lift your own ego;

The half that's left will only
Live for days.
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