We had quite a run old girl,
nearly all of it was fun.
A rose is my final gift to you.
I, too, am nearly done.

For sixty years we played the songs,
the stuff of memories.
Our audience has greyed or strayed,
now you've abandoned me.

Our house is like a record store-
Ten thousand old L.P's
Each song labelled and cataloged
-memories in melody.

I did our show that one last time
for those fans who still care.
The truth is I cannot go on
because you are not there.

Beside my bed, your photograph,
You're ever on my mind;
a single rose named Dorothy
whose melodies were mine.

"Ant dear, don't pant" she pleaded without words
"let me listen to the music of this rose breaking open"

It's getting harder each day
to say I'm okay
to keep up this facade
to follow this ramrad
called society
sometimes I feel I should I should join the Jihad
what's sobriety?
I don't remember what's real
I've forgotten how to feel
over this world I've trod
left no trace
left in haste
and I moved on
never looking foward
or back
my life feels like
the edge of a heart attack

It's getting harder each day
to move away
from I, myself and me.
I possess no heavenly key
all I find is greed
I wanna drown my life in mead
the world grows within me like a seed
threatenin' to devour
I can't find the powa'
to fight back this hour
I know I must
but my life's a bust
I'm lost in darkness
no will to resist
but I can't back away
I can't desist
I have to exist
some people speak of light
but the world I see is as black as pitch
hurting my sight
for I see the inner truth
I can't deny it's ruthless'
ness
leavin' me defense'
less
and now I'm heaven'
less
I've failed the test
but I beat the best
I messed up the rest

is life beautiful?
then what is death?
I choose neither
I'm feedin' the ether
inside my own chest
if I lose this beat
what's left?

this moment is real
it ain't no trick or treat
no political meet n' greet
how do you feel when you can't?
try to comprehend the magnitude of that feat
and decipher the riddle in my rant

The lights of the city sparkle from outside my window.
They, this view, will always remind me of you.

Water splashes down at my face and up at my boots as I walk these cobbled streets
- the same ones we used to stroll
hand in hand
white dog in tow
glancing up at the brownstones we passed
and joking how we'd live there one day.
Only I wasn't joking..

Remember when you kissed my face
and wrapped the strength of your arm around my shoulder like I was yours,
the only one?
I do...

Because the thing is I'm going to miss you.
I'm going to ache for you
and maybe cry myself to sleep a time or two.
I wonder if it will ever be easy to let you go
the way it was for you.

I'm not sorry I have to go;
I shouldn't have to convince you to love me.
But I wonder if you will remember me
and each night we spent wrapped in each other's arms
watching movies and knocking my laptop to the floor
because we were so eager to touch.

These are the things I need to know.
Because as I stand near this window
and watch the lights flicker on with twilight
I remember you waiting there,
watching you throw your bag over your shoulder.
I remember waiting for the smile and wave that never came
and the call that never rang..

and still
it was the sweetest goodbye I've ever known.