I...I love him... He doesn't love me. I am a pawn, in this chess game of love and  he is the player, he decides my fate,  he chooses what I do. He can make me skip school, have *** with him, and if he leaves me and never talks to me...I wouldn't want to take a shower because i would be afraid his scent would wash away from me, I'd stay up all night thinking and remembering the way he would breath, how he would laugh and his smile. I would crave his touch and I wouldn't go to school. He controls me. And I don't know if I want to be controlled. I'm so terrified that tomorrow he will choose that he no longer needs me and I'm terrified he will leave me.

Sweet coffee is sipped
In the shy corner of the living room
Occasionally stopping to smile
As I reminisce on last night
Quiet messages are passed between the miles
Words for lovers' eyes only
I know not of a better way
To spend a Saturday morning
Than with this routine
We've unconsciously established

There is a moment
    When sunlight bathes the trees
    And your thoughts
    My dear, dear friend
    Invade me.

    You seem to love the morning
    When our room is cool
    And paper, pen and attitude
    Anchor an old fool
    Bowing  fore  your witness
    Reaching out for lines
    Winding towards your inner life
    And sketching it in rhymes.
    So soft your silent whispers
    But clear and hardly grave
    Patiently you  elevate
    These aging earthbound ways.
    Why such generosity
    Beloved friend of messy me?
    Perhaps. . .
    When time is near an end
    And meeting on a star
    You will share your name
    Down here and how
    I knew you then.
    Until that  day when music plays
    Around and through our souls
    We  grasp the air and strain
    To hear the cadence of your strolls
    As we hope to be so still
    And clearly hear your voice.
    So busy we remain
    Both supplicants and prey
    Chasing our discordant days
    Contradictions near  your side
    As sunlight bathes the morning trees
    With songs of immortality.
    May we always walk  afar
    Singing with a morning star
    Reuniting earth with heaven
    Brothers in this  house forever.

How is it possible
    We are here today?
    I remember silence
    Before you sighed
    And opened up my world.
    Now the wind is all around my heart
    And sand enfolds your lovely feet
    Past and future moments disappear  
    As we fly
    With many eyes
    And wings upon the current.
    They will find our shoes
    And echoes of our cries
    Between the waves
    Children running on the beach
    And days we cannot number.

With eyes rolled back
And a chest pointed up
Memories flee my mind and flood the room

Olive skin and curly black hair
I can still feel your stormy eyes on my naked skin
While you sing sweet nothings as I become
Nothing

But it's all so brilliant, remembering you
Flesh on flesh, so easy and so quick
I wish the thoughts wouldn't linger

The moments are dusty and rusty
I'm nauseous thinking of her
It's been so long since our eyes touched
I need another muse to stop imagining you

Yet you keep sneaking into the dark lonely cracks of the night

Oh how I tire of the games that are played.
The useless lies veiling truth.
In shrouds of weakness.
How the fear overcomes reason.
Foolish as they can be.
We allow their fantasy to remain.
Standing our ground.
Holding strong to what we know.
Waiting with patience and persistence.
As we always have since the beginning.
Maybe once they open the blind eyes.
To the reality presented before them.
They'll see how to mature and evolve.
Into a superior being.
Only then will they learn true happiness.

1.
What a summer
Such a dream
You’re getting married
And then she is staying until the trees wilt away

2.
Don’t you know
It’s just a present
I’m leaving for good
3000 miles away I’ll stand
But I’ll still love you
Please understand

3.
It’s hard here
It’s rough here
I have not felt much love here in such a long time
The nightmares leave me scared

4.
One time we left
No one knew
Grain creeping between my toes
Salt sniffing my nose
I couldn’t ask for a more beautiful day
Happiness is in the moments, they say

5.
I’ve had far more moments here than there
I can’t seem to remember much from before
It’s blurry and slurry
Like that night in that house
Where he crept in like a mouse

6.
You’ll be happy in this life
I’m not worried
Have faith in my actions
I know what I want
I know what I need
I just wish I knew what I was doing
I wish I knew where I am going.