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Chameleon Apr 2016
I want to be crazy in love again.
I want to feel butterflies.
I want to smile all day because of that person.
I want to be so happy I could die.
I want someone to take care of me, and be obsessed with me.
I want to have someone that likes doing what I like.
I want to stop feeling single, even though I'm not.

I'm ready for LOVE.
Chameleon Apr 2016
Even when I was going through it,
I didn't think I was.
And even now, sometimes I forget that I made it.
About three years ago now,
I fell deeply, madly, in love with someone that I definitely shouldn't have.
I was only "with" him for about a month or two, but I was the happiest I've ever been because of him.
I was in love after three days of knowing him.
And when he broke it off with me,
it really felt like my whole life just fell apart.
I came over early in the morning, unknowing, and we sat in his garage and I just cried, and begged and finally said okay.
I didn't go home right away, we hungout and went to get some **** so we could both feel better.
But then, when I did go home and realized he wasn't going to text me, I lost it.
I started drinking all the time, stopped smiling, and the pain I felt was unbearable.
And I thought I would never get over him, I thought about him every day up until this past year.
And now, I'm proud of myself and know that I can get through any break up or bad situation and come out so much stronger.
I have done so many things that I never thought possible.
And even more good things are to come.
I turn 21 in two days, when I met him I was newly 18.
I learned a life lesson early on, but I think that I was supposed to.
I needed to become stronger to end up where I am today.
And I am happy to have had true real love, even if I never do again.
At least I got to know what it feels like.
Time heals everything. It's the only thing that actually does.
Chameleon Apr 2016
You know,
you brought me down and you don't even care.

I realized today, that you are one of my triggers that sends me into depression.
You are the reason I eat to feel better.
The reason I stopped caring about my health.
Why can't you support me and my drive to work out and eat better and feel better.

I really don't care when I'll see you again.
I feel alive without you.
And that's what upsets me.
That you aren't my safety blanket.
You are my poison.
When did it get like this?
You even stress out my dog.

I'm almost at my breaking point.
I shouldn't feel like this right now when everything else is going so great.
I can't even talk to you about it.
You smoke all my **** and wreck my house.

Tomorrow will be better.
I'll look in the mirror and see that girl that was here the moment before you got into my car.
Chameleon Apr 2016
We are far from the perfect couple.
But we aren't trying to be.
We go days without seeing each other, barely speaking.
But when we do, we spend our time in bed because you say I give the best head, and I just miss human touch.
When people ask me about us,
I say that it's complicated, but we love each other.
We are two young people that don't have their **** together,
but feel better when we're together.
We are toxic and intoxicating.
Chameleon Apr 2016
I didn't even know I had this version of this song, on Spotify.
The best version of My Sunshine.

It unexpectedly started to play,
just as I began to think of you.

Ya know, I would've kissed you so many more times if I had known that there would be a last.

You and I have become a fairy tale,
a dream,
a parallel universe.
An invisible amount of time.

God, I really did love you.
If you thought of me now and then that would be a dream come true.
Chameleon Apr 2016
There's nothing like
the smell of a hazy spring evening in Ohio.

Watching the sun set into shades of sherbet ice-cream.

A lazy Sunday with perfect weather for open sun roof cruises.

Falling asleep feeling the soft, warm wind blowing through the curtains.
Chameleon Apr 2016
Heavy eyes from the wine,
and the little amount of sleep I've been running on.
It's been a long day.
Went to work at 6 a.m.
Went to Sally's with my sister.
Dyed my hair.
Got ****.
Went to the store.
Home.
Then to my brother's for a little bonfire.
And now I'm home watching Netflix.
I'm sure I'll fall asleep any second.
...
Zzzz
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