A gentleman, my father is.
He’s kind, and loving, and caring.
A liar, my mother is.
Her anger is never sparing.
Patient, my father is.
He waits for freedom.
A partier, my mother is.
She wakes feeling like dung.
Quiet, my father is.
He thinks before he speaks.
Spontaneous, my mother is.
In another bed, her secret leaks.
Forgiving, my father is.
He lets her back inside.
Stupid, my mother is.
Her ringer is on high.

Broken, their marriage is.
Lying, cheating, deceiving.
Tired, I am.
For ever believing.

my fingers meet raindrops on tips of leaves.
Branches surround me and catch on my sleeve.
Darkness encloses; worry breeds fear.
I wonder if The One Whom I Love is near?
Hands ever searching, eyes remain blind.
He's different from me, yet one of my kind.

i trip, stumble, fall. A scrape bleeds.
Surrender to forces greater than me.
Uneven skin proves i'm riddled with sin,
Yet The One Whom I Love, will still let me in.
He dries my tears, and washes my feet.
Although i'm imperfect, He gives me a seat.

His love for me is ever confusing.
Human nature can be amusing!
i'm cracked, cut, battered and bruised.
i'm *****, beaten, tired and confused.
All of this mess, and i'm still so wanted.
He leans in close for a kiss on my forehead.

In this moment, I am free,
Because The One Whom I Love, loves Me,

For Me.

This time of year is crazier than the rest,
It's hard to put my finger on what makes it just the best.
I love my family, and I know they love me too.
So I thank God for deer, and plenty of work to do.

Im thankful for the coffee that gets me out of bed.
For friends who know the kitchen and how to keep us fed.

For dessert too good for words and jerky just been smoked.
For patience and forgiveness when we're easily provoked.

I thank God for furnaces when it snows before Thanksgiving,
And for tank tops and shorts when the grass is still living.

I'm thankful for health, for strength and ambition!
Pain killers for knees that give way without reason.

I'm glad we have music to fill the air.
For country and gospel and Creed to blare.

This work that we do is one of a kind.
Tedious and tiring  is what you may find.
Although this is true, at the end of the year,
I'm thankful for family, and our season of deer.

Do you remember when the leaves changed?
The cold came. Over me, your sweatshirt draped.
Skipping and beating, my heart swooned.
Beating and throbbing, my heart breaks.

I see I wasn't good enough.
Not pretty, not smart, not skinny.
I deterred your focus, but your feelings remained.
She's skinny, and smart, and pretty.

A fool in your sweatshirt,
I thought you'd be mine.
A fool in your sweatshirt,
For your attention, I'm vying.
Just a love-struck loser,
Sitting there crying.

Now she's in your sweatshirt.
Now she's the fool.
Now, you've faded,
And I see you're a tool.

I remember when the leaves changed.
I was your second choice, your midnight vice.
Your selfish desire left me hollow and bruised.
I fooled myself; you were just being nice.

Zeal for appreciation,
A push for perfection,
The touch of an Angel
Cries to heaven.

Desire for recognition,
Brainwashed into hollowness.
A voice from heaven
Pleas for safety.

Ravenous for love,
Coaxed to mutilate.
Constant reassurance,
A prayer for embrace.

Parallel lines
Connected by blood.
Forearms like ladders,
Perception clear as mud.

The itch for normality
dulls the blade.
Bloodlust dissolves
When attention is paid.

A devil's on the left,
An Angel on the right.
We make our own decisions.
Choose to fall, or choose to take flight.

Looking up at a painted sky,
Pinks, purples, and blues.
A warm breeze pushes hair from my face,
I kick off my shoes.

Lukewarm sand between my toes,
I think of all my friends and foes.
Plans I've made, mistakes I've made,
They rattle my brain like a grenade.

Looking into the fading light,
I see a future that looks so bright.
I see happiness, although it's fleeting,
I pray to God I can stop this bleeding.

I imagine the pain and the searing loss.
Violence, alcohol and illicit drugs.
Trust broken, lines crossed,
I'd do anything for one of your hugs.

I hate what you've done and the pain you've caused,
I'm embarrassed of the life you've paused.

I find hope and answers in the sky.
The bleeding colors and fading light,
Keep my focus on my life.
Mine, not yours. A continuous fight.

I find comfort in the creations on Earth.
My heart feels free. Free and secure.
The tide hits my feet, and healing begins.
My God is here with me, of this, I am sure.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall.
Picture perfect, porcelain doll.
That perfect body and human desire,
They say she's a tease, sets boys on fire.

She looks in the mirror, searching for admiration.
But all she finds is mutilation.
A broken beauty. With makeup, she hides.
Hiding scars, hiding lies.

Hand-shaped bruises plaster her body.
Her daddy loves her,
And thinks she's a hottie.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall.
Reflections shatter, blood falls.

She tried to stop him,
He held her tight.
Pushed her around,
Made her fight.
His sadistic game
Played out of spite.

One swig too many,
His eyes turn to glaze.
Her anger and pain
Have built up a blaze.

One missed step and a roll down the stairs.
The smell of ***** and a broken neck.
A broken heart, released into freedom,
Wet eyes look down at the wreck.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
She's the fairest of them all.
Hand-shaped bruises fade from her body.
She knows her daddy was very naughty

A shovel digs deep,
Loosening dirt.
Moving heaps of debris,
Muscles hurt.
Dust flies and rocks shift,
Does anyone know what hard work is worth?

I'm here, right now, moving the dirt.
Displacing the garbage.
Shoveling.

Sifting through these nasty things,
I realize they're mine.
Every negative thing I've said or done
Has stacked up over time.

This job I've been given,
I'm not too thrilled.
I'm to remove the bad,
The ugly, the chilled.
Find the good.
Start to rebuild.

Although I'm unhappy with the amount of *******,
I know there's treasure somewhere.
I haven't seen it in quite some time.
But I know it's gotta be there.
I buried it by focusing on the garbage,
And now it's lost, life is so unfair.

So here I am, lost and alone.
Digging and sifting.
Wishing someone, anyone, would throw me a bone.

Concealed by night, we fly.
Smokes in one hand, ***** in the other.
Anything is possible,
Just don't tell my mother.

Adrenaline rushes as fingers touch brass.
Footsteps muffle and hinges sass.
Bad intentions and language, crass.
I let his hands trespass.

My mind is fuzzy,
My words are slurred.
Lines once bold,
Now, are blurred.

This moment is wonderful,
I feel light as a feather!
When morning comes,
I'll be under the weather...

Who is this girl?
I've never met her.

Decisions made.
Parents forbade.
Boys played.
Preyed.

The blame is on me,
I turned into this.
Call me a ****,
But don't give me your fist.

Cause when I bounce back,

You'll be first on my list.

I've been ignoring you for a while now.
Trying to forget and live my life.
I'm moving on, dismissing your imprisonment.
Leaving the pain, burying the strife.

But today, I thought of you.
I wondered how you were doing.
I know you called dad.
I heard the phone ring.

My wonder ceased, and I remembered:
That I stopped caring when our family was fractured.

Sticks and stones, she said.
They'll break my bones.
Words won't hurt me.
She lied, I feel alone.

Words break more,
They call me *****,
Slam me into locker doors,
I can't take much more!

Words are painless! she said.
My being is shattered.
In death, I'll wonder,
Did my life even matter?

Bricks and mortar build a wall,
Paint and pictures make a hall,
Drapes and comforters make the bedroom,
Basements are dark, and full of gloom.
This is a house that is ready for living,
The people inside are happy and grinning.

I'll take the bricks and the mortar,
Place them around me, to make a border
To keep out pain and evil things.
Keep out anything Satan brings.

Slowly, but surely, these bricks make a wall,
It's nothing special, more like a stall.
Just something that keeps me comfortable and warm,
Not pretty or perfect, but safe from harm.

I'm sick to my stomach to know about prison,
My sinister side is bound to be smitten,
With how long they'll keep you. I don't really mind.
There's no desire to see you deep inside.

My wall grows stronger with each mistake made,
Taller and wider with each drink you take.
I can feel the pain slipping away,
As I stack the bricks to keep my heart safe.

Frozen, breathless, only eyes can move.
The phone rang, you were trying to prove,
That you did nothing wrong, but you've lost your mind.
I cannot imagine your reasoning behind
What you did, if you haven't gone crazy, if that's what you think.
Your voice stabbed my brain, making me weak.
A cry for help, you ask us for freedom.
A laugh creeps out of my punctured lung.
Are you serious? We won't get you out!
You're insane, a monster, you put words in my mouth!
Your actions are nothing short of inhumane,
Your family loves you, but you're not the same.
"One phonecall" is what they usually give,
Or so we thought, but the ringing lives.
Leave us alone, you've done enough damage!
The pain you've caused needs more than a bandage!

In Christ alone, my hope is salvaged,
Your stay, I pray, is underprivileged.
I ache for you to feel MY pain!
You've killed a friendship, my heart, slain.
I beg God for my brother back,
But you don't understand that He's cut you your slack!
We keep handing over a silver platter
With opportunities galore, but it doesn't matter.
Selfishness contains your soul,
Your choices make our family sore.
I do not know if your remorse is true,
But again, I'll say, "I love you."

Removing my shoes, I step up to the entrance.
I close my eyes, my perception to enhance.
I want to feel that magical touch,
The hand of Jesus, whose love is enough.
Each step I take, I take with care,
I'm trying to see, to feel if He's there.
I'm trying too hard, I stop and stare,
At the floor beneath, my feet, bare.
I silently beg for a walk with Christ,
To know He's there, my path, He'll light.
My hands stretch down, facing the floor,
I feel the warm touch of the One I adore.
He's got my hand, and He's leading me through,
Healing my wounds and making me new.
We walk and talk, I never want to leave,
The presence of this God, I can finally see,
There's more to this faith than things taught in churches.

Nearing the exit, His warmth starts to fade.
I ask Him to stay, a confession I've made.
"I haven't put you first! I'm not a good daughter!"
"You're mine, and I love you. I am your Heavenly Father."
I fall to the ground, and the warmth evaporated.
His hand was gone, had He departed?

A brush on my shoulder tells me He's with me.
This maze I'm in is something amazing.
My walk in the Labyrinth was one to remember,
My Lord, God, and Savior, with whom I have favor.

Comfort and safety are things I feel seldom,
I ask God to lock up my room, a coliseum.
It's here I've died, left things behind,
Can't hear, can't breathe, I'm losing my mind.
This prison I've created has hold of my happiness,
I want to run, scream, shout, til I'm full of bliss.
Careless bliss, I'm done with the trouble,
So long since I've walked, I trip and stumble.

Remember, though, I locked the door,
I didn't want out, I didn't see more
Of anything important, I was waiting to die.
Figured God led me to this, He's why I cry!
This life, so miserable, I shove off the blame,
To the One who saves, loves, He came
To earth to die, why have I been so blind?

I've changed my mind, I'm ready to move,
Been stagnant so long, I've got nothing to lose.
God, bring me through this mess I'm in,
There's no one else who can help me win!
Unlock my door, let me fly!
Mend my wings, I want to try!
I've been so stubborn and used like a toy,
Now, it's time to choose joy.

26 months I had to prepare,
Of importance or relationship I was not aware.
Born into friendship, you were so lucky.
I never know the next time you'll hug me.
"Brother" they say, is the proper title,
But "Friend" says it better, there is no equal.
None can divide the connection we share,
The laughter, acceptance, and mutual prayer.

Distance, they say, makes the heart grow fonder,
I know for sure I can't wait much longer.
The distance pains me, but I'm doing my best.
Please don't be angry, please don't fret.
I'll be home soon, reunited again.
They have no idea what words have been said.
Through Hell and back is where we've been,
Hand in hand, you should be my twin.

Gravity makes us fall, but we reverse the effects,
I invite your desire to overprotect.
I know its of love, and I hold you dearly,
You'll be in my heart for all of eternity.

Within the depths of my heart is where yours may lay,
like sisters, but closer, because we pray.
God brought us together and let us be family.
We look at old pictures and laugh oh so childishly!
My life, without you, would be dark, dim, and dreary.
Childhood would be different, re-writing my history.
You know where I am, and you know where I've been,
I know who you are, and how to make you grin.
Telepathy and encoded messages are how we communicate,
Words are unneeded, unnecessary, they have no weight.
A sparkle in your eye can write me a novel,
At our friendship, and sisterhood, I marvel.

Your room, clouded with cigarette smoke,
Old pizza, leftovers, and last night's ****.
Whiskey and beer had stained your white rug,
I'll never comprehend why you looked so smug.
I didn't do anything to deserve your fist,
Your open hand, your rage, your Vulcan grip.
I begged you to stop, I pleaded for release,
But your hand was tight, 'til we called the police.
You resisted arrest and claimed you were sober,
Mom cried and sobbed, I only could hold her.
There was no fixing what you had done,
You beat me and bruised me and emptied my lungs.

Everyone told me I did nothing wrong,
But the nightmares shook me like a gong.
They kept me awake 'til the break of dawn,
I'll never know what brought this on.
Your mind has changed since you bumped your head,
And the brother I once had is dead.

he loves me, he loves me not.
Now that I'm used, I'm feeling the rot.
he claimed he was ready, wanted to love.
It's clear he was lying. Tears flood,
My vision blurred,
My heart deterred.
Now that I'm free,
I could fly like a bird.

But, I'm broken and used, I've been thrown away,
Now I sit, bleed and pray,
that someone, oh, anyone will tell me I'm worth it.
Fix me, love me, cover the slits.

I don't want this life, the mutilation and blood.
No sleeve or stitch can cover what's done.
Awake and bleeding, my skin feels hot.
I tell myself, "he loves me not."

As a child colors pages,  
You so fill me with love.
My heart, once shattered,
A Light from above.
The Light was dim,
I had left all hope,
Left all of my dreams,
Looking for rope.

But you, oh, you,
Brought color back in.
Like sunsets, springtime,
And international skin.
Before, so empty.
Dark lines on a page.
You released me from Darkness,
Rescued me from my cage.
So color, Love. Color me in.
Smile that smile
That covers my sin.