addiction is only a problem wehn you are poor

been trying so hard for something

**** your god and **** your flag
we’re all human in this place

sober is the worst feeling there is

im telling u when this stops being real its over
and idgaf about money or **** all those fake ******* can **** my ****

i will say a million things i regret before tomorrow

slave to feelings slave to life slave to hopelessness

u are completely beautiful adn so is everything that u do

real life is discovering
that what u are is something
that any onewho ever loved u
cannot accept u as what u have to be
and the realization that this is the reality
and that the past is everything
and that it is never changing
and what u thought was love+reality
isnt real and doesnt mean anything
and everything u always believed
about consciousness + dreaming
was confused completely

mezrah treefingers walks a pious crow. every way she walks.
the forest follows.pulsing in the veins of her membrane waves. bare face hides a swarm. beaconing her ways. boiling + pouring her poisons away. skin home failed by reticent eyes. to wash away everything. black hat leopard forest. black inhaling breeze.
with eye’s how u sing

to drunk and high to remember problems or names

the things that make u wanna rip your face off lack of control
conflicting feelings
confusion
regret

alternate universe
hope is alive
everything I want comes first

**** feeling anything i want to be a rock

idk whats happening

wake up holding everything that burns u alive

equality only matters to people when it is in regards to their own life

words mean nothing

no one evn close enough to understanding

im going to tell my story in the way that im going to tell it

so what if he is destroyed

when im drunk i talk about reality

turning into something i never could have thought of myself

every day every second it is going thru my mind

there is nothing left in me

i dont know what the **** im saying ever

people always blame **** on someone else changing if u are human u changed too and maybe they changed in part because of you

i will

one heart in my life
one love in my heart

i dont trust in ****
i dont believe in ****

try telling every one in your life
exactly how u feel like

thethings u dont tell any1 the things u always have been hiding from

thethings in the back of your mind that only you know and u dont want anyone else to ever know

see who stays

see who goes

i would give anything to take out your brain and replace it with mine
u deserve everything that was never given to you
u deserve to live and understand life
u didnt deserve what they all did to you
truly caring people never do
u dont deserve to feel afraid
it scares me more than you could imagine
to see nothing on your face
i love you and i need you so please don’t run away
they wont let me do anything
and ur confusion wont relate

gonna wake up in the morning
and not remember i wrtoe any of this ****
sit in this chair
read it again
feel completely embaressed
until i smoek and drink again

dont want what we have been
i want kaleidoscope glitter
and parting of skin
eyeholes filled with i know
backpack full of this is how it might end
full of never feeling full
or ever coming back again

time changes nothing

all that you write of me
im done//its time for change
you never read what i write

and i read that **** everyday

you never show emotion
even when you cry
expressionless at my funeral
dry eyes all in white
money, ***, comfort
thats all u need in life
as your past pours down
on familial wings
and pulls you from my sight

when you do things for people
they stay
maybe they would not have stayed
if you didnt do those things
sad
when you always want others to be happy
in spite of yourself
mostly
they will stay and more will come
when there are too many
it makes you crazy
and you try to be loved
by everyone
and the other half
becomes so selfish
no one else matters
then they go away. SSome,
didnt receive the same treatment
for near as long so they wait
people go to hospitals
people die
people go away
and then its calm
sad and calm
until it starts over again

i love you so much more than i could ever love myself
you love yourself much more than you could ever love any1 else

miserable draped in white
its been time to gather all the sick and the dying
every face wears a mask as cold as his own
but he doesnt own one
or even know what they are for

so scared that it went too far
its not like i ever thought u needed me
jus thought i could eventually earn your heart
its already gone too far
and i dont know how to handle
displacement
or dark
you cant take something perfect
and combine it with these scars
and u are
and i know it
heart is only temporary
and u need something strong
someone that listens to silence
and realizes when they are wrong

screams seeping thru the holes in the walls
stuff them full of tshirts and pillows to try and dull the sound
how do u repeat something you never learned once
how do u forget something you never could have thought of yourself
i feel everything clinging and i just want it to go away
i cant live with whats inside of me and i cant give it away
idk how i got here idk how else to explain
there is nothing worse than living against the things you cant change

some people miss the whole point of everything

get into such small specifics that the point is missed completely

are two humans able to be together forever
are two humans meant to be together forever
can two humans feel what they feel now
20 years from now
when you see them
and they seem complete
ask them the last time they ******
or have they done anything recently
that they didn’t repeat
and when was the last time
they were able to breathe freely

success
shud be measured by the height of your weirdness
and put on the hood of a lexus
so when peoeple steal that ****
and t\ry to return it
without having earned it
without ever learning from it
u can watch them walk by and laugh at them
just like they were watching u

in a black space with no place for both

i never wanted u to be something i couldnt loose
you lie now with a placating smile
empty words trying to convince me
that what u never proved is the truth

the half moon that completes the whole

i dont handle relationships like every 1 else rather be sad and aware than happy and oblivious there is no trust humans are flawed and evil

u trapped ur ***** rags inside the windows
of a *******
windows that you won’t open
so u can decently humanize
so the breeze can oxidize your ****
the breathless words of a woman
are the chalk outlines of death