a slow death we've wished upon ourselves

long breath raked out, length of
day. thought pattern diffusing;
shadows cast on a broadening strip,
wallpaper hung close. stolen breath,
an orbit about you. consistent
glow. hinging on ripples, cut around
this field by clear breeze. branches
stretch, churning in the swept
air. held aloft, in their self-arrest.

i do not echo. this frictionless glimmer.
the vanishing extent to which i
can stop falling.

oh, but i do not want to. not
this time, sweet. each day reaches
out with tender hands, to pull
me up& out of this cavernous maze;
undoing meaningless shovelwork.

i find myself, under boughs, amidst
flowers. it's only slightly difficult to admit
this smile was smeared over
my freckling jaw, for nothing,
save for you.

even birdsong seems pale in comparison,
distant bells, ocean mist; undertow
beneath soft waves rolling
from your lungs to lips.

I can't wait to marry you
Except that I can
And I'm going to

I will struggle through anything
To hold you
To be with you

And we will mess up
We'll fail
We'll argue

But we're going to make it
We'll be fine
How I love you

I fell in love with you
the same way I fell out:
slowly and then all at once

I had that dream
with Sydney all close to me
and today two street signs stood out
what did they say?
The top one was my name
and the one right below was hers
I sat on the curb
head in hands
"When does this end?
When does this end?"
Every corner I turn is a reminder
smashing **** up in the grinder
but her
but her
what the ****, why does she linger
is it because I haven't loved since?
I just want to rinse my hands
get rid of her name
it's a a sick game this world plays
let me break the rules
let me cheat
so I can get her syllables
out of my cheek

I was born
To this flesh
A man of
Worry and doubt
Used to be
I never cared
No, I did
It's just now
Where I once
Hid in darkness
Is illuminated, bright
I can see
Clear and far
And everyone else
Seems not so
They brood, boil
Hardened yet soft
Moved around, shifting
Chameleons with camouflage
But no one
Comes even close
To the spot
In the Sun
Where I lay
My aching head

The blotchy grass and
Broken tree limbs
Greet me when I come
Spare car parts
Barrels of twisted, half-charred metal
Tin, iron and aluminum
Stacked high, Sun-glinting off

It's hot
Humid, the worst
Sometimes I could barely breathe
But I did
Even with my asthma
Tugging on my lungs
I breathed in
I breathed out
And it was just like I remembered it

Does a poem
Have to rhyme?

Not if it's
One of mine

One day I might
Write one
Given time.