Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
August Apr 2013
Cigarette smoke loans
The moon is smudged by plastic covered windows
Dragged out talks on the phone
A call line that has a monotonous beat
I say hello, and who says it back?
Oh, yeah, still me.
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Jan 2013
Riddled with anxieties
I don't want to live
But I don't want to die
Please just let me lay in bed
I don't want to get out of the sheets
Can't I just lay there?
Can't I just be left alone?
What am I?
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Dec 2012
I feel like Cruella DeVille,
Smoking a capri
In brand new clothes
Because Christmas
Just happened
Why did, when I opened
All of the gifts from
Family & friends,
Did I long for a person
To step out of a box
And wrap their arms
Around me?
To take them back
To my apartment
So we could sit on
The mattress on the floor
Smoking my little
DeVille cigarettes
And drinking a,
Previously unopened,
Bottle of bourbon
In my now,
Newly gifted
Star Wars mugs
Wow, this isn't easy.

© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
Cooped up in a mini van
Feeling the tips of your
Drumming on the back
Of my neck
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Oct 2012
I compensate in child like wonder
It'll take me ages to cure this blunder
August Jan 2013
Are you like        And though
The last one?     Your lips were
I wonder & worry     Very clumsy
If you'll be right,      And fumbled like
Right for me,        I actually made you
At least.          Nervous. You! Nervous!
You were cute,     Ha! What a silly
When you asked     Thought, But, I could
If I needed a      Feel the heat, I didn't
Goodnight kiss.     Mind your fumble
Then I asked      I knew it was sincere, the
If you thought     Thought behind it,
I did.           I touch my lips now,
And you replied     Thinking of it.
I think you do.     And, boy, I haven't
Which was oh,   Touched my lips
So very clever, you       From a kiss
Clever boy.      In a very long time.
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Nov 2012
Baby lips
Baby lips
Baby lips
Frozen tips
Shoes with three holes
Right on the soles
Again and
Again and
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
My lungs feel young
As I breathe in this
Lovely air
Even though I
Wish that it was
Candy coated with
Your cologne
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Jan 2013
Alone, I am restricted to silence,
In your presence, I worship your voice,
I close my eyes,
to feel,
to decipher,
Every sound you make.
My lips touch yours, and the meaning of life is clear,
In a life of turbulence, we as one become an oasis of serenity,
You define me,
Through this my soul flourishes.
Without you, tranquility shall be disturbed,
A burden from this world is lifted off from my shoulders,
Replaced with my lover’s arms.
This is love as we know it.
Alone, I am restricted to silence,
In your presence, I worship you.

The love between us;
Only lovers could grasp the depth,
Only we can feel the warmth.

The love between us;
You can hear the love in my words,
I can taste the love upon your lips.

The love between us;
ignites when we become one.
My friend Kazz doesn't think she is very talented. And she is too shy to do this on her own, so I thought that maybe you guys could tell me what you think of her work? I think it's lovely & I want to prove it to her.
August Oct 2012
Times been tough on you
Oooohhhh I know it
I can tell
The milky stains
In your eyes
They know too
They know more
Than I do
The air picks
Apart your skin
The spots on
Your bird bone
Hands tell more
Than a thousand
Words ever could
The color ******
Out of your hair,
Lost altogether
The pigments are forgotten.
August Dec 2012
No need to worry
I'm not here
To climb stairs
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
You do not go to a house
Where things are practiced
To not practice them
What would be the point
Of going to that house
To sit there and not do anything
So, when you say, we should go
As a family
Even though not all of us feel
That the house is the right place
To be
That is false,
Because family does things
With LOVE.
Not force.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Jun 2015
So many things have happened since I last spoke
I've been flickering in and out of vision
Like someone with a box of matches
On a windy day

Instead of attempting to let oxygen relieve me,
I'm suffocated by the incessant smoking
But burn as I may, I only can become
A pile of ashes
Amara Pendergraft 2015
August Jan 2013
With your copy & pasted
You aren't fooling me,
A semi-silly concept. Wouldn't it be great if it was that easy to get rid of a bad person.

© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August May 2013
Found songs as gifts to you are little treasures
I've sent in the mail now, how many feathers?
For being so far away from one another,
We do dance a lot more than our fathers and mothers
Till dawn?
Wind and water make what you see,
Tell me again how the blue meets the green.
I love that story.
Kiss my lips a little softer than the sun kisses my skin
I'll put mine to the paper until we can meet again
Fingers are extensions of soul.
My, my, your words form your shape
That's the image of you I can't erase.
*Not that I'd want to...
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Aug 2015
We ride down streets I don't know
With Spanish rock on the stereo

The street lamps are strange shades
I close my eyes as everything fades

I think of all the things I want to be
All the women I could see

You can call me before I go to sleep
And I'll listen to your voice through my dreams
Amara Pendergraft
August Mar 2014
I've lived through roughly six thousand five hundred and seventy sunsets,

Yet nothing compares to the light you have shined upon my face in only two very long days.
Amara Pendergraft 2014
August Jan 2013
You say you are just another misguided ghost.
I'm humble & I don't mean to boast.
But you are the most beautiful ghost I've ever laid eyes upon.
Luminescent & lovely, I find my opinion of spectres foregone.
You eradicated my frown & I found myself grinning.
If there wasn't distance between us, I know that another ghost (I) would have seen you, call it sinning. But my iridescent heart, it would have started beating.
Even if a wonderful glimpse of you probably is, fleeting.
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Nov 2022
My anxiety sits next to me & it is not small & I am not capable of bottling it up & putting it on shelf, it would shatter the jar & collapse the shelf & I have to live with the fact that it’s not something you can just put away & that’s it always present & it’s always there & that I have to ignore it & contradict it & have to deal with it actively trying to ruin every shred of ******* happiness I have felt & I think I felt & should I have felt it? & my anxiety isn’t some entity I can kick out my house & block the number of & I can put in little ear plugs shaped like pills & those little ear plugs will just dull out that one specific droning some of the time & then I’ll notice that the other thing next to me is telling me to **** myself & the earplugs don’t work on that (they amplify it & that’s so weird) & it makes some pretty compelling arguments & that’s really scary & so I take out my ear buds out so I can drown that out with my anxiety counteracting those arguments & sometimes they synch up & that’s even better & I’m just letting them chip away at me & I’m chipping away at me until there’s nothing left & what isn’t left? & in addition & also & including &



August Oct 2012
I miss you
It's been years
Come back
Forget about the crack
Where did you go?
August Sep 2013
If violets could count the endless amount of love I could give to someone who loved me,
I'd be a sea of purple swaying in the breeze.

If someone would want to be for me the sun, the moon, and rain,
Then maybe I wouldn't pick so many flowers in vain.
Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Feb 2013
Speaking to another,
Leaves a feeling of absence.
Of things wanted to be said.

I got called gray today.
I realized how right he was.
If only someone would splash

*Some color onto me
August Apr 2013
Hey now..
           you weave your fingers...
in my heart strings..
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Jan 2013
Sitting in class, looking around,
I feel a little man climbing up my face by hair.
He has on tiny sharp shoes
And they dig into my skin
I wince as he clambers up my cheek
He rests only for a moment
He gets fistfuls of my eyelashes
Tugs & tugs & tugs
I feel the weight of him &
My eye closes gratefully
He moves to the other
Making a mirror action
And it's all gone from there
Now he dances in my dream
He might have climbed
Into my ear while I wasn’t looking
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Mar 2013
In so doing exposes ribs, vulnerable to fracture, leaky marrow drains, what remains?

*Not the flesh, no not the flesh, only the towering white towers that will eventually turn to dust and be cycled through a cylinder smooth unisex creature that changes everything into dirt. Later on providing the food for the hand which will eventually get bitten.
August Nov 2012
Why meander around the subject?
All the roads lead to the same outcome
All the chit chat & the cut-up laughter
Isn't really necessary
When I know that in your eye
I'm just a desirable target
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
Are you merely entertaining me?
Are you only saying the things you say
Because you think I want to hear them?
If you are,
Then I suggest you stop
Because I don't want to hear lies
Pour out of your mouth
I don't want your stories
And your jokes
To pool around my shoes
And stain them muddy
I don't want you to think what you say
Can fill up my head
And cloud my eyes from the fact
That I'm still guarded
I've got this key locked inside of me
And if you think that you can speak
A door open that doesn't open
Then you are wrong
And you had better turn around and leave
Before I have to make you.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Jan 2013
The bread crumbled in your fists
'But, I made that for you.'
Your grimace made me wince
You threw it on the ground
And you spit on it
You spit on the bread I had baked
For you
2 years ago
And you called me pathetic
Because I had baked you bread
And I cried, because,
You made me feel pathetic
Later that night,
You gave me a ring on the phone,
And you apologized
But what you didn't realize,
Was that I had already
Burned my hands
From placing them on the oven
In a sense
I couldn't feel my fingers,
I couldn't feel anything
All I knew was that I would not bake again
Not literal.

© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Jan 2013
No longer feel the buzz.
But I loved you nonetheless.
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Mar 2013
Antiseptic operational sheen
You made the break clean
Blood never touched your hands
So none could soak your conscious
You handled it plain faced
She trusted you on the operation table
She was patient & she was yours
When it was done,
You reaped the rewards
Although a clean break can be sterile
Her healing went all wrong
She went home, pale & cold
Still fuzzy from the medication
Bled herself dry on the kitchen table
Then later on, again, then again
Your cut was straight
But you couldn’t anticipate
That she could feel your infection
The infection of rejection
In which always stains the blade
Her heart would never be the same
August Dec 2012
You keep finding
Fawning after her
With doe eyes
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
Waking up late
Is the only thing
I'm good at.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Apr 2014
Pt. 1: Before
To the filter, the only thing of me you'll have.

                                 Pt. 2: Over
                                 Whisper softly, I won't be one of your bad habits.

Pt. 3: After
I'm smoke, catch me in your hands, if you can.
Amara Pendergraft 2014
August Nov 2012
We dress up in animal costumes
And dance around the fire
We want to make it rain
But it never does transpire
The skin is stitched onto our faces
Our eyes are as black as ink
And they taint the ground
As we splatter our feet
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Oct 2012
Pigments are filling your eyes
Painting a beautiful picture of your demise
Skin disappearing into thin air
Running non-existent fingers through your hair
Cannot forget the pitter patter of feet
Overwhelmed by the noise of an empty seat
Bones jutting out in a skeletal way
Nonexistent lovers never stay
August Oct 2013
I need some love tonight.
But the mason jar up on my shelf,
It's all emptied out.
Crystal clear,
Like my tears.
God, why are you so emo?
So I smashed it up against the wall,
In a fit of rage.
Ha ha ha.
Amara Pendergraft 2013

Not one of my more literary master pieces. Who ******* cares.
August Nov 2012
A* chiffon floral blouse
Torn to pieces on the floor
Aside a girl as delicate as a flower
Curled around a pillow
Her petals ripped *away
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Feb 2013
I had a blow out tonight
A literal physical one
But a mental one
Followed soon after
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Feb 2013
Like water you fill my consciousness,
Flooding the entirety that is my thoughts.
And when it drains, it feels so dry.
Let it not drain. Let it rain & rain & rain.
© Amara Pendergraft
August Mar 2013
I dream the dreams no one can see
Pressing my fingers against my wrist
To feel the spaces between my heart beats
Attempting to even out my breathing
I just feel so lost now and then
Can't really set my feet on the ground
Floating up towards the sky again
Rendered speechless by my own head
August Dec 2012
I'm in a closed box
With tape on the top
Don't have any scissors
Have to use my fingernails
Scratch Scratch Scratch
Doesn't work
Maybe I should shout?
Let me out?! Let me out!
No one is listening.
I look through the slit
Through the clear tape
I touch my hand to the top
Of my cardboard box
All I see is white outside
I go to curl up a bit
Moving my hand,
But I can't
It sticks
To the top of the box
And I tug & pull
But it doesn't come off
I let out a small sound
I prop my other hand
On the side
And then I realize
That it's now also attached
Panic creeps into
The back of my brain
I pull very hard
But to no avail
I start to scream and thrash
As my skin
Touches the box
It sticks
And now I'm still
Still as can be
The box is holding me
The more I tug
The more I feel
Myself getting tugged
Towards it's surface
What is it's purpose?
I put this box in
The back of my brain
Long ago
What was in it?
I really don't know
Or I just can't remember
I'm overly uncomfortable
Then I realize,
I'm in it
And it's trying to consume me
I shouldn't have done it
I put my, myself in this box
And I tossed it into
The back of my brain
I have to refrain
From screaming in pain
As the box let's go of
My skin
I hear the schick schick
Of the tape peeling off
The top of the box
Opens very quietly
I stand up and stretch
Afraid it'll happen
And get out of the box
Before it changes it's mind
And I look around
It's all white
So, this is what the inside of
My head looks like
Boxes upon boxes
Are stacked up like skyscrapers
I see some scissors
Lying beside the now open
I look around again
Then I grab the scissors &
A box,
Slash the tape
Hoping to find all of
Myself again
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Mar 2013
I'd focus if windows were always
And doors didn't
© Amara Pendergraft 2013

I've been so full of words, but nothing is coming out.
August Nov 2012
We built this concrete metropolis
We put our hearts into the pavement
But I want to spin around the tree tops
And I want to burn down all the shops
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
My hands smell of laundry soap
Because it's the only thing I've ever known
People stare at my cuticles
I don't look like a juvenile
But I sure feel like I am inside here
Opening my biconvex shapes to peer
At you from where I'm sitting
Wow, your jaw line is so defined
I'm sort of *******.
Because you shouldn't exist.
At least not in my orbit
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Jan 2013
My social skills are strong enough
I can live with parties & get togethers
But home is most comfortable
Even though my definition of home is weak
Home is where I can be alone
Certainly preferable
To small talk, oh how I hate small talk!
It's just a long road not worth the walk
Words are me when they are written, not spoken
And I'm the one who prefers to listen
Sit back and watch everyone else go
And I never liked putting labels on things
Too organized, not enough chaos
But as much as I try
My insecure human nature
It loves to name
And it names me an introvert
By the loosest definition
I don't want to name myself anything
I just want to be me
But even 'me' has been dibbed by labels
Not even 'I' is really mine
Because it is shared with everyone else
And the only way I feel better is
Is when I'm alone at 3: 26 a.m.
Where 'I' and 'me' feel like my own
August Jul 2015
I'm so angry at you
For what you do to me

As if you could ever see
How I've become so blurry

Trying & failing to meet
You're watery priorities

I'm black & white baby
And you're making my ink bleed
Amara Pendergraft 2015
August Jan 2014
Bittersweet is the moon that dips below it's fate
Sinking into itself behind the horizon of the lake
Radiance of the sun shines momentarily on it's face
To light up the dark of it's visage, then it falls away
Amara Pendergraft 2014
August Oct 2012
My eyes are burning.
Everything is too bright to see.
There’s a clenching in my stomach.
No one feels it but me.

Blindness is creeping up.
Yes somehow everything is so clear.
Nothing is quiet in this head of mine.
I need you now more than ever my dear.

My hands are shaking.
I cannot keep this fear still.
My heart is ******* in knots.
I’m moved but I cannot feel (it).
August Dec 2012
I used to wear my heart upon my sleeve
But then it frayed,
And now I'm left with a pile of string
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
Finding myself
Imagining you
Doing things
You say your
Too many times

© Amara Pendergraft 2012
Next page