At least one time in your life
you're going to feel as if someone is pushing you under water.
You are gasping for that last breath
you know your not gonna get.
It's so cold.
It seems as if the surface is so close
yet you can't reach it.
You just sink further and further under.
It finally let's go just to be ****** in again,
this time you don't surface.
No matter how hard you try you just can't.
The feeling of emptiness sweeps over you as the
water seeps into your lungs.
You're now dying slowly
cold and solid yet broken beyond repair.
There is a gaping hole in your chest.
You're completely stuck you can't move on
and you can't stay where you are.
Pain, sorrow, hopeless, helpless,
cold and alone.
No one  knows or understands how you feel.
They will swear up and down they know,
but they don't.
Yes everyone deals with some sort of depression
but now one know's what you are going through
because they aren't you.
Because everyone's definition of hard is different,
because drowning feels the same and
the water is willing to welcome everyone
but no one deals with depression the same way

your calloused
your calloused
but you don't even know

picking off the skin
of my dried lips

bleeding fingertips
bleeding lips
but I don't even know

we go hand in hand
numb and cold
i know

When I covered myself
with gasoline
smelled so good

oh we live
in such a twisted world
some worship the
devil

bleeding fingertips
bleeding mouth
we'll never know
what pain is

hand in hand
numb and cold

You make everything seem
So dark
You don't even acknowledge  
The sun

It brightens the day
For us and the trees

You don't even notice the butterflies
On the leafs

Easily
You could see

Never have i been
Stuck in hole
Where i did not see the beauty
Of the natural world

She doesn't want to see

Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

I became these things
for you and
in your absence
these things
still remain

Lovers End

Love is doomed to an early death, forever tinged
with sadness; even ardent lovers sense it can't last.
Ah, the mythical illusion no one in the world loved
so deeply as us. Entwined, yes so heavenly I was your
body and your body was me. Sensuous we smiled
I saw my image in your face drown in the miasma of love.
The cooling of ardour was not for us, but we could
not stop time. Grey sky, why must delight die?
The ship has left the anchorage and the sea is endless.

i finally deleted that
picture of myself
in a wedding dress.
it's been three years
since it was bought for
me and i only wore
it once in that dressing
room but i still had
the photos
of me so happy
that i had found
"the one"
i thought i had
found "the one"
and now, three years
later i am alone
and i want to cry
for the memory of that
moment of joy is so
fleeting and so
cold in the back
of my mind.
three years of stale
memories washed up
in the blinking eyes
tears falling from my
cheeks, dreams leaking
under the door of
closed possibility.

will i ever love again?