I fear
When you worry
And I worry
About your worrying
I fear
Your doubt
Your doubt leaves me
Doubting
I fear
What you see
Because you see
Sorrow
When there is none
And then you make it grow
When you see something nonexistent
And then we're sad
And I fear it
I fear losing you
Because you
Your the only good thing I have in this world.

The wind hits my neck
And I shiver with the mixed emotions
Of pleasure and coldness
But I love it
Because it reminds me
Of your suckling kiss
That always gives me
Goosebumps
And that always
Tickles
And excites me
Oh I don't mind the cold
Because it reminds me
Of your warmth.

I was new in this world
Freshly arisen
And when I thought
I could not bare to
Walk nor breathe
You grasped my hand
And you help me
You helped me move
To inhale and exhale
And with such a calm demanor
Your mind was racking up with
So many unanswered questions
And all I could do
Was whisper my first words
Since being reborn
*I love you.

In our time apart
I only notice
Our insanity
And how it grows
With everyday apart
And the only thing
Anchoring us down
In sanity
Is that visit
Every few weeks
That sparks magic
In my soul
And brings light
Back into my life
For when all falls apart
You can always find comfort
In the arms of the one you love.

To be rescued was only a mere dream,
An Infatuation of the dreamscape.

Dreams do not come true so how was I to believe I could be saved?

My savior was sent and the moment he and I met I knew,
The first time our eyes met my whole mind began to whirl with desiring thoughts,
Since then I've questioned it all.

Do I love my savior or is this just another trick of the heart?

Our friendship had grown and my savior often rescued me,
But as time went on my love had grown and my fear as well,
The feeling that I got when we talked or laughed deepened the love and desire I had for him,
But fear rode in when I realized he is just a friend,
Just my savior and he and I can never truly be,
His love for me is not returned.

Love hurts but I can dream can't I?

I dream of the love that I have being returned,
I dream of us embraced in each others warmth,
Of us kissing and maybe he finally won't have to rescue me
Not because I don't want him to but because I'm happy right where I am,
With him.

Oh my dearest love
You rip my heart apart
And staple it back together
Your sweet words
They make me want to frollick
I'm a lioness
So overjoyed
So hungry
I devour it all
The words
The feeling of your hands entwined in mine
How you say things like
"I love you"
And whisper
So much
Or "Why do you think you aren't perfect?"
You are to me
Oh dearest love
I hope this isn't just a dream
I hope your truly here
That you truly love me
I can dream of us
Together forever
Just like we talked about.

Just like we dreamed.

Sweet collision
Perfect images
my brain full of them
the desire filling
the want so endless
we have our love
have our future mapped out
but dearest
bring me somewhere
I want to be alone with you
Let's enjoy our romance
enjoy these sensations
I want you
Love you too
Can't say no
don't wanna
Take me away
all my dreams
are of us
our future
our intimacy
you and I
Are the perfect broken pieces
completing the other.

I'm lying to myself saying My heart doesn't ache at seeing your name...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't need you anymore...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't want you...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't miss you...
I'm lying to myself saying I'm glad we won't see each other again...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't dream of you...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't cry over you...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't still love you...
Because Inside I know the truth...My heart does ache every time I see your name,I do need you,I do want you,I do miss you,I'm sad we won't see each other again,I do dream of you,I do cry over you,I do still love you...I always have and I think I always will

You
Are
My fiancee
My lover
My life
You shall
Be my
Husband
A wonderful
Father to
My someday child
And most of all you
Will always be
My soul mate.

My heart is not a toy,Oh please you silly boy.
Do not come back to break me again,
you make my heart ache,and made my whole world quake.
Speaking with you makes me shake,these feelings I have always been unable to fake.
My biggest mistake was letting you make me weak,but to me you were just so unique,
I never knew anyone quite like you,you threw my heart aside,didn't you see how I cried even through the pain I tried,but I was too late your soul had died,But my love was still implied,from my insides to my outsides.
I had to let go you know it hurt to remember what could never again be,you had to see what I saw,how my heart would always withdraw.
After you it could never love no matter how often I gave it a shove,It already chose.then I suppose it must have froze,so nothing would impose.Everyone would oppose the choices I made when it came to him,but it wasn't his fault my world went dim,
I couldn't let go,though so much time had passed, my love for him still seemed to last,
I would ask why,scream it in-fact.He made my heart crack.I did not overreact,he extracted all my light and replaced it with the dark of night,I could never again be all right,He stole anything bright I contained,since then I always felt so drained,My heart always strained in pain.I never would complain,
I could sustain,though a part of me was slain.Even though I was momentarily insane.
Out of the insanity came a new version of my humanity.
Though part of me died,another part of me began to stride.The hollow abyss forced me to reminisce,sometimes those are the days I miss,but now I must climb my way back to the light and away from the darkness of night

I have you
Our lust
Our passion
Our love
And I never wanna let you go
I'm fearful
Of the day you'll leave me
Because everyone does
My life can't bare your absence
Because I awake each morning
Waiting for your kiss
Your hug
Smile
Touch
And whispered love
With you I am complete
No longer a broken soul
Looking for her other half
The future we've planned
Is all I need for the rest of my life
I wanna live with you
Marry you
Bare your child
And die blissfully
Old and In love.

I fell asleep
Last night
With a smile
Because your
Voice soothed me
Into a peacful sleep.

INTRUDER
That's all you are
And This
Is my territory
And the law says
I have every
Right to
Shoot you down
Where you stand.

You Once Made My Heart Soar,
Now the pieces are spread across the floor,
My hearts been slain,
You've caused me so much pain,
I hate what you've done,
Made me feel like number one,
Built me up to tear me down,
I feel like such a clown,
A clown with a everlasting frown,
I suppose I'll see you around,
Forever will I miss the sound of your pounding heart,
But wait isn't that the heart that tore my world apart?
Yes,But none the less it's the heart I've loved from the start.

I cried in the rain with hopes you'd stay...
I cried in the rain wishing you'd make the pain go away...
I cried in the rain and knew you'd be my soul-mate...
I cried in the rain knowing you'd be the only one to love me....
I cried in the rain wishing you'd always be mine...
I cried in the rain when you left me...
I cried in the rain when all the good thoughts went away...
I cried in the rain when I lost the thing that made me whole...YOU...

It's not that we weren't meant to be it's that you didn't realize we were.

Flirtatous laughter,
A giggle in reply,
A relationship in the making,
But truly dreams are only dream,
So for enjoyment I live in dreamland now.

So caught up in the creativity of my mind,
I can dream of the boy that will never leave me,
I can't have him reality but here he's mine.

We can fall in love,
Then we can make love,
Comfort is always found in his presence,
Real or not he makes me complete,
And though dreams are only dreams it's as close as I could ever get to him.

One day I'll have to leave dreamland,
One day dreams won't satisfy me.
Until then I will ravish in the sweet dreams of he and I,
With sorrow hidden with the knowledge of all that will never be real.

I find myself in love again,
It sends me spinning,
Spiraling out of control.

My one and only past love destroyed me,
He destroyed the girl I could've been,
He made a weakling of me,
I cannot exact revenge but I shall allow love in my heart again.

Unrequited love may be the end of this,
But my will keeps me going,
And I will fight for a surviving love story.

They tell me it's easier to give up than to keep dreaming an empty dream,
But love makes you do crazy things,
Love has made me different,
And because of it I know better than to quit.

Especially on love.

I'm scared to love you.Those words they surround me.Its all I can think of.
I'm scared to love you.Because I'm scared of the pain.Scared you'll break me like I've been broken before.I'm scared our memories will never fade.
I'm scared of loving because I'm scared that you'll never love me back.
Being scared seems easier than being hurt.So for now I'm gonna put up a wall surrounding my heart and hope you never break in...Or maybe I hope you do...And I hope you'll stay...

Our whole lives
You've been fighting the love
I've been fighting for it

I can no longer count the times
You've left me
Or ended our relationship

I've known you almost nine years

I know your every expression

I know I am not the right choice

But I would fight for you until the end of time itself

And that's the biggest heartbreak of all

My dedication
And your lack thereof

I think back to when I use to smile

And it was always in your arms

I remember walking in the heat of August

Sweaty palms didn't stop us from holding hands

I remember us venturing in the middle of winter

We walked in the snow
And you were still so warm

I remember the way your whole soul seemed to calm when I rubbed your back

I will always hold our memories

I have tried to erase them

But my dreams won't let me

I wanted to be yours

I would follow you anywhere

And yet

I am alone now

When our old song comes on
I can't bare to listen

Because it hurts so bad
And I remember when you believed in us and it would make you cry

You're choosing your mind over your heart

And I'm left with my heart
Too **** full

And my mind drowning in memories

How do I let you go

I've been asking myself this since we met

Since you asked to be my friend
And I told you this would happen

How do I let you go

Because I know now

It'll never be me

I will never be your final choice.

Friendship Turned Into A Crush.

The Crush Caused Flirting.

The Flirting Lead To Love.

The Love Became A Relationship.

The Relationship Ended.

The Ending Caused Hearts To Break.

There are so many signs that I'm falling for you,
Each one scares me to the depth of my soul,
I know you couldn't love me,
Look at you,
And look at me,
No matter how I want us to be,we simply will not,
The first sign appeared that moment you walked up to me,
Then when we started to talk,
I smile at each word,
My heart would flutter,
Your smile and eyes,
Oh what a pair,
So hypnotic,
You started touching me,
So flirtatious yet so meaningless,
I know what you want,
It's what all guys around me seem to want,
To use me,
I don't care,
Because your touch leaves me yearning for more,
And your hug it always leaves me shell-shocked,
Every moment I feel uneasy I just say your name and begin to smile,
I'm falling for you and it scares me to my core,
My heart's just now healing,
And now at any moment you can break it,
With just a few words,
You can break my heart just like those before you.

I met you
On a day I cannot
Recall
But I do
Know that
Each day after
Was brighter
When I was with you.

No one understands
That my love
Will never die or fade
That I would forgive you
A thousand times over
No matter the ache
No matter how hard I break
Because my love
Is supernaturally infused
God blessed me
When He answered
My prayers for love
And in doing so
He granted me
An undying passion
An undying love.

I wish I could stop dreaming of you day and night but it doesn't feel right...
I wish I could stop craving your kiss...
I wish you and I never met so I'd never be broken...
But if we never met then I wouldn't have so many great memories.
All the bad memories in the world couldn't make me forget the good ones.
I wish you were here but your there and even though I have yet learn of that location I love it anyways because,your there...

I miss you
I feel your absence
My body is a empty shell without you
And I suppose it no longer matters
That my body arches in my bed
Imagining you and I tangled in the sheets
My heart shattered by your abscence
My world missing its life
Wishing you were back
Needing you
Crying in my bed
Seeing how lonely life truly is
So now who will kiss me
And walk me home
And make me proud of who I am
Who will look at me with passion
And tickle me to make sure I'm okay
I miss your eyes
And staring into them
And running my hand over your scar
For who will kiss my boo boos
And cuddle with me when I'm sad or sick
Who will I give my play-doh hearts to
Who do I turn to now that your gone
Because no one can compare to you
No one is made for me like you.

I Try To Make It Better,
Try to clear my mind,
Say It's okay,
Try not to worry,
But thoughts creep in,
They suffocate me.

I'm So Alone,
Friends begin to hate me,
I've been selfish and immature,
Or maybe they've been uncaring and inattentive.

My Love Life Is Terrible,
My first love hates me,
The ones I want don't want me,
I guess I'm not good enough.

Home And School,
Chores,
Homework,
Basically my life,
So time consuming.

My Scars Mock Me,
They want to be refreshed,
I barely hold on,
I want to just cut here and there,
But I'm trying to be strong.

I Want To Let Go,
I don't wanna care,
I don't wanna care about a thing,
I just wanna breathe.

I Don't Wanna To Think,
I Don't Wanna The Stress To Bother Me,
I Don't Wanna Care How They Feel,
I Don't Wanna Love,
Because I Know Love Leads To Heart Break,
I Don't Wanna Live,
But I Don't Wanna Die,
Just Sent Me To Limbo,
Just Send Me To A Place Where I Don't Have To Give A ****,
Send Me To A Place Where I'm Not Prone To Give A ****.

I'm scared to fall in love again...Because after he broke my heart I don't think I can handle anymore pain.So let me silently admire you.never let me get to near.Never let me fall In love.Never let me feel so much pain.Honestly a part of me is still partially broken...And I can't handle my heart breaking anymore.So when we laugh together take a step back then turn away.Before your smile makes me weak like his did..

It's his pain
That makes
Me want
To end it
Or go back
To my blade
So I can find
Some comfort
Some release
If any at all.

You
Have always held my heart
That I can't deny
But one day you'll hold our child
And that
Makes me the luckiest
Girl
Because your mine
Now
And forever
My first love
My first kiss
Will become my last
And that's a love story
That's our story.

Love me
Ignore me
Want me
Have me
Lose me
Hate me
Love me
Need me
Hurt me
Ruin me
Love me
Babe make up your mind
I know your confused
I completely get how jealous you are
He has me now
And you don't
It's obvious I'm happy with him
Maybe that's why your playing
This little game
Your just trying to win
But this game
Alredy has a victor
It's Him

I love you
Love the way
You kiss me
And hold onto me
Sometimes your hands
Lingering at my waist
And my face lights up
I love the way
You look me in the eyes
And how you say
I love you
I love that you mean it
And that you want to spend forever with me
I love that we
Want a child someday
And we both want it badly
I love the way you cry
And I cry
For each other
Just because
And how we can be jealous
Not because lack of trust
In one another
But because neither
Of us seem to trust the world
We've both been disappointed by people
Even each other
But we're stronger
Together
Than we ever could be apart
So I love those freckles on your ears
And the way your eyes shimmer
I love the way you
Open your eyes when you kiss me
And I love the way you want me close
No matter whose watching
Yes,
I love all of these things
BUT
It's not WHY I love you
You see I love you
Not for what you look like
Or the things you do
But for the kindness in your heart
And the way you make jokes
I love you for your fear
And for your patience
I love you for everything that you are
Your fear of clowns and spiders
And your insecurities
Because to me
Their just perfect
To me
Your amazing
And I love you
For everything that you are
Everything.

I dream of our bodies bare...Together  uniting as one in so many perfect moments....I imagine you gently kissing me....I imagine our passion soaring in quantity.....I imagine you loving me...I imagine us saying each others names repeatedly...I imagine yelping of how I love you...I imagine us together in perfect unison...But It's only a dream...And I have to wake up....

I'm fat

And I must spend my life with that

Don't tell me I can change

A skinny life would be strange

I know it's not easy

Being made fun of and gone after by guys that are ******

I'm fat

And it gets hard to deal with that

I've tried to change and better my life

But the food makes me sick and the junk replaces my knife

I can't help the way I am

But at least my life isn't a sham

So I struggle with security and will power


It doesn't mean I cower

I get by

Without a regretful sigh

Because even though I'm fat

Even though it's tough

I face that fact.

Oh wait I get it now.


I was always beautiful
Just not beautiful enough

I was always amazing
Just not amazing enough

I was always a good lover
Just not good enough

I was just enough
For you to hold onto

To hug and make love to

To love
Just not that way.

I hadn't had nightmares since I was 10
And the most important thing in my life
The one thing I feared losing most was
My mother
I remember those nightmares
About losing her in the mall
And that a monster would take her away
And somewhere along the line I grew up
And my nightmares faded
And I dreamed peacefully
I met you though
And fell in love
And when you left
Life was a nightmare
And dreaming had become an escape
Only even there I wasn't free
You'd show up and fade away
Leaving me
And then you came back
And even though your mine
Your now the one thing I most fear losing
Because I'm all grown up now
And I love my mother dearly
But you
Life without you
Was like a life in darkness
A hole of never ending despair
And last night I had a nightmare for the first time
In five years about you
About you ending this
And faking your death
And coming back
And breaking my heart
Twice as bad
And I remember crying
And yelling at you
How could you do that to me
I loved you
I made mistakes
But was sorry
And my heart meant nothing
And I was stuck looking at you
Breaking completely with each moment
And when I awoke
I needed you so bad
And I don't know where you are
All I know is your not here
And that nightmare is making me cry
And I don't want you to leave me
I love you too much to say goodbye.

There is a girl
who used to cry herself to sleep
cringe at the memories
the invasion of their bodies
of her own
poor girl cut herself
while images of death loomed
what fear
so lonely in such a large world
untouchable for the mere fact
that she already had been
so much pressure
she thought she'd explode
Everyone gave up on her
so cold
warmth wasn't possible
buried her head into books
tried to pretend it'd all be okay
but who was she fooling
she was broken
lost
alone
she was done.

Silence in the mist of love,
catostrophic moments surround us,
flirting becomes meaningless,
glorious stares become painful moments,
she is yours,
one fact and I'm left in the dirt,
agony cascading thoughts of you,
love cannot be killed so easily,
the green eyed monster rules,
A charcoled and severed heart,
a what if becomes a if only,
an ending without a conclusion,
a love that doesn't die
and a broken heart yet to heal.

Here I am,
The Ones who see me,
They see me for all the wrong reasons,
The others they just don't see me at all,
They've made me nothing,
They've made me worthless,
He was the only one to see me,
He saw me before I bothered trying,
He was the one who made me feel worthy,
Worthy of life,
When he walked away,
That love that he and I made,
The one that to this day rests in my heart,
It Stayed,
At least in my heart,
But I feel his love for me dying,
I feel myself become nothing again,
So Alone,
So Worthless,
This feeling grows each day,
Now it's near capacity,
and I feel at any moment,
I'll be that girl I was,
The one I hate,
Hate more and more each day.