Filled With all memories
Tortured with the glimpse
Of what was
All that made me strong
Making me weak
I stand only for my individuality
Break at every turn
Because it takes me down a notch
They compliment
And tease
But worries are not yet at ease
For the soul I bare
Has love to share
And it is stuck in the motions
Of which are true emotions
They all blend
And I get lost in the truth and the lies
And So I Bow My Head
And simply give up
There are no more tears to be cried.

There lies
Tangled sheets
Wrapped around
Two lovers
Who finally
Made love
In Their bed
The smile
They bare from
Their night
Exhausting
But ravishing
These lovers
Are soul mates
They must be
Such love making
Such passion
Cannot exist
Between anyone
But true soul mates

I learned from my mother
And my youngest aunt
That I didn't want to be
A teenage mother
I learned from another aunt
That love is always a battle
And I have to decide if its worth the fight
(Which I believe it is)
I learned from my other aunt
That anger only locks you up
And once in it's hard to get out
I learned from my step mother that
Endurance goes so far
I learned from my grandmother
That putting *****
In your orange juice
Is not a good start to any day
I learned from my cousin
That care is in our hearts
And if you lack empathy
You may leave your soul behind
I learned from my great aunt
That kindness and helping people
Is good for the soul
I learned from my great uncle
That just because you have a lot of things
Doesn't mean you have everything
Lastly, I learned from my father
That love grows in all the little things,
All the small words or actions
And that without those
We cannot grow love.

What
Do You
Call
A Man
Who
Goes After
A Teenager?

I don't want to prove them right
Don't want them to see me in my true light
Most of those ******* lies
Have some truth
And they bring out the why's
You see I am not fair
For though I love him
my mouth has been more than just there
If he knew
his heart would break
oh and mine too
Those rumors hurt the distrust to
but I know I cant change the hate
I cant change that somethings are simply true
No matter what I say or what I do.

In my mind
I am Aphrodites daughter
One of many
In our magical lands
We roam
Like wild beasts
Lust and desire
Filling us to no end
We're determined for
Love, ***, and an eternal mate
We search
Occasionally finding one
Or another
Never all
Traits in one
But we grasp
Each one we can
we harvest it
And continue on our
Rampage for eternity



Until we find cupids sons.

Parents can be so crazy**

Mommy have you met daddy
Who has never loved his little girl
Daddy have you met mommy
Who cherished her as a child
Mommy have you met daddy
Who raised his sons and left behind his daughter
Daddy have you met mommy
Who took in others and loved them too
Mommy have you met daddy
Who once gave his first born a hug
Daddy have you met mommy
Who insulted her daughter to the point she has no pride
Mommy have you met daddy
Who called his daughter a ***** with no remorse
Daddy have you met mommy
Who kept her against others advice
Mommy have you met daddy
Who steals and cheats
Daddy have you met mommy
Who is sometimes sad
Mommy have you met daddy
Who is best at disappointing his daughter.

I hate this love that grows for you,
It grows every time we speak,
Every time I see your photograph
My heart aches,
The tears begin to fall,
And I'm remembering all we were,
This love I've grown to hate merely because your so far away,
This love is still there even through the distance,
Our memories were made,
And Never Forgotten.

I have so much to say
But the words blur
With the memories
And I am left with
Pent up
Unexpressed
Feelings
Words
Emotions


This is unfair.

As passions
Override
We lose
Control
Passion
Igniting
A flame
Burning
Between
Our bodies
Only Fufilled
By this
Amazing act
So Tender
And So Close.

Without you
I feel lonely
Afraid
I cannot
Face these
Battles alone
I need you
By my side.

The best day of my life was a long time ago...
It's more like a dream now.
I daydream about that day over and over again in my mind,It never goes away.
I miss that sweet day it was he and I together...It was one perfect day.
The best day of my life was not a dream.But a dream come true.
I miss that day,Still I know any other day wouldn't be the same.

Before I met you,
The life I lived was dull to a T,
Before I met you,
I did not laugh and I did not smile,
Before I met you,
I had never had a friend so close,
Before I met you,
I had never experienced what love was,
Before I met you,
I was never hugged,
Before I met you,
I was never loved,
Before I met you,
I never got kissed,
Before I met you,
I was not happy nor was I sad,
Before I met you,
I did not have these scars,
Before I met you,
I did not cry so often,
Before I met you,
My heart was intact.
After I met you,
My life wasn't as dull,I laughed and I smiled all too often,I know what's it like to have a friend so close,I have loved more deeply than I ever imagined,I was hugged everyday we saw one another,I was happy and I was sad,Scars appeared and tears were cried,and my heart felt as though it died...

I cuddle into my pillow
Whenever we're on the phone
Imagining it was your chest.

I like to talk to the air
When I walk home alone
Imagining you were there.

When it snowed
I thought of you and I smiled
Imagining all the good times in precipitation.

I miss you
But I'm thankful
That your mine.

Now and Always

And one day I won't have
To imagine
Or dream
Because it'll all come true.

I don't know what I'd do
If I didn't wake up
And discover you
Waiting for me
Don't know what I'd do
If I didn't have you
To hold me
You see it might be sad
But my love
Makes my world revolve around you.

Your Kiss
Always Breathless
Even From That First Day
When You Kissed Me
And It Was Raining
And We Were So Nervous
I Loved It
Loved How You
Made Me Feel Like Yours
Now I Await
For The Next
Rainfall
So Maybe
You'll Kiss Me Again
And I Can Pretend
I Didn't Have To Wait
Three Years To Feel It Again.

Go ahead
Call me or message me
Tell me how you hate me

And I'll remind you
I loved you when you were afraid to be with me
Because we were only eleven and our peers opinions mattered

I'll remind you that one year later
We had our very first kiss and it was perfect
Except for the part where you moved away
And didn't tell me

I'll remind you that when you called me
I had just suffered statutory **** for the first time
And you told me you loved me for the first time
We were only twelve

I'll remind you
You stopped calling

I'll remind you
You moved back
And dated my friend for a month
And I was so happy she ended up liking girls

I'll remind you I forgave you
I tried to be friends again
I told you about my other ****
We talked about our failed relationships
We were fifteen

I'll remind you it was your idea to meet up and kiss
And how we talked for an hour before I couldn't take any more
And I kissed you and we didn't stop
We never wanted to
But you caught your breath and asked me to be yours
And as scared as I was I said yes

I'll remind you we ditched school only a few weeks later
And you told me you loved me and I never believed you more
Then in that moment by the skating rink
And I almost cried saying it back

I'll remind you that we made love
We made love everywhere and all the time

I'll remind you that three months in
You proposed to me
We were fifteen
And I said yes

I'll remind you that we broke up
On and off for stupid reasons
And that you always ended it
And I always waited for you to change your mind
And you always did

I'll remind you that at sixteen my best friend and her boyfriend
***** me and you thought I cheated
And you hid your revenge for over a year

I'll remind you that we survived months
Of long distance
And with our libido it was hard

I'll remind you when you moved in at seventeen
You promised you would stop leaving me
You would stop breaking my heart

I'll remind you that we stayed up late in the living room
Watching movies until we fell asleep there together
Because at first it was the only way we could sleep together

I'll remind you that your family's opinion of me didn't stop me
From visiting them with you one Christmas

I'll remind you that no matter how many times the darkness
Emerged from you I accepted it

I'll remind you that when we slept together you made me
Spoon you and rub your back and I always would

I'll remind you that you stopped kissing me
Stopped making love and started to pity **** me as
Youtube videos played in the background
And I would cry and go unheld

I'll remind you that you talked to her
After promising not to
Because you broke a lot of promises

I'll remind you I still forgave you

I'll remind you that one morning
You held me
Which you hadn't done in so long
And we woke up just like that
And you told me you were leaving
I didn't cry at first
But I felt every part of me break
More than it ever had before

I'll remind you
You blamed my mom
But she loved you like a son
That's just how she treats her kids

I'll remind you
You asked me out again
Not long after we had make up *** a few times
And I cried because it all felt so different

I'll remind you that with a broken heart
I ended things for the first time from eleven to eighteen

I'll remind you that I wanted to stay friends
That I wanted you to prove you loved me
Because I always stayed when you ended things
And you disappeared like you always did

I'll remind you that our story is messed up
But that we loved each other somewhere in that mess

I'll remind you that you will always be first in my heart
And that nothing can change that

I'll remind you that I forgive you
Because I love you
Because no matter what happens
You're my best friend

You were the first person to show me
Just how happy I can be

You taught me so much
And my heart,
It'll always be yours
Even when I mess up too.

Death caught her young,
While a tumor grew in her head it felt as though one was growing in my heart,
A mere child let in eternal peril!
Her inevitable end brought my never ending damnation,
How dare the supposed god end a life before it began,
At only seven barely knowing the true horrors,
I watched as the life perished in her eyes,
As she became incapable of self-care I became incapable of tears,
Even in her demise I could not cry,
I was as cold as her purple lifeless body,
Her casket open while people in black shed tears,
As only a child I could not comprehend the hurt
But now I carry it with me everywhere,
A I watched her body put into the ground that pain the one I was uncapable of then now fills me,
Each visitation a constant reminder of the dear child lost,
I lost a friend,A mother lost her daughter and some just lost hope,
There became pain in my world once death entered
And though I could not shed tears for my beloved friend then I do now,
Because now I see all that I lost and all that could've been oh so different.

I'm sorry
I was born
To never be perfect
I live an outcasts life
Enjoying it in some moments
Hating it in others
I was created
Never to conform
To love the color black
And be like no other
I am sorry
I'm human
And show weakness
And flaws
I just hope one day
Someone will accept me.

Falling in love
It always felt
Like I was finding my way
I was learning where
The heavens stood
And how far they reached
Love led me
To the depths
Of heaven
And I discovered
That even heaven
Has a dark-side
And when I reached
It I realized
I was the only one
Falling in love.

I've been thinking about him

"My father "

And I hate it
I hate how much
I was like him
How we both lived
Our double lives
Our kleptomania
Similar
Our sins
Nearly the same
I never once had a
Meaningful conversation with that man
And yet I had unknowingly become him
I had become the enemy
My father
The one person
I wanted nothing to do with
He'd never show interest
In his girl
my brothers
they don't even know how lucky they are
To be blind
To have him their whole childhood
I always wanted a father
But it took at least ten years
To realize that the father I wanted wasn't him
The father I wanted did not exist
He still remains a dream
I was in my biological fathers footsteps
Following him blindly
and it took his suffering
his true identity to be revealed for me to understand
that we're not right and this part of me
No matter how little
Says we both have the same genetics that
make us uncontrollable
Its not our faults
it something in our Dna
the blood we share
I, despite my dislike and lack of love for him
Still want him
Want us to have a legitimate reason for our wrongs
He's not my dad and he never will be
But we share blood
I cannot deny that fact
No matter how little I like it.

Amazing to spend days
With a vibrant smile
To see the heart breaker
With a frown
While you venture off
And learn to be yourself
To just enjoy the little things
The suffering is post-poned
I lay back into this world
Letting life find it's way
Back into my partially empty soul
I'm being completed
And it seems
By absoulutely nothing
For one moment
I believe the darkness
Has finally left me
And I can be Free
Maybe if I believe
This feeling will never go away.

"I don't care about you anymore,your free of me"
I care more than I want,I wish you'd tell me you loved me,Like you use to
"I've stopped loving you,Just like you stopped loving me"
I am in love with you as I was the day I met you,And I wish you loved me the same way
"Our memories are worthless now,You made that clear"
I can't help remembering each one,Remembering our kisses in the rain and our hugs,don't you remember."
"You don't have to look at me again,I can walk away right now and never look back"
If I walk away,I'd want you to chase me and if you didn't know I'd be crying myself to sleep because of you"
"You sicken me when you ignore me,I never did anything wrong"
No you don't sicken me when you ignore me,you break me"
"Can you see what we were you never want us to again be,"*
I wish you could see how I'm dying inside,I wish you understood how badly I need you,how I've always needed you

Honestly I don't know,
My heart says I love you,
My mind says it's just a crush
so here I am in between the two,
In my limbo,
Now I declare you my limbo love,
My heart can swell at the sight of you but then it depletes,
Words not spoken leaves a heart broken,
Your holding back and words are ready to pour from my untouched lips.

This is no longer a want or a desire it has grown into a neeed,
I need thopse lips,
Need that voice and laughter,
I need you,
Your my limbo love and I forever want to be yours,
My limbo love please save me from my fears,
Rescue me one last time,
This last time just take me in your arms,
Hold me close and whisper sweet lullibies of the love story yet to come,
Tell me you love me,
And know you will always be my limbo love,
Just believe in all we can be,
I just want our love to always be clear to see.

I want to see you
I miss you

But i know i can't see you,
Still I know you'd have
Enough self control
Not to kiss me
And yet I'd have every hope
That you woud give away
To control and just let it happen
Because thats where the connection
Truly starts
With a thrilling kiss
One thats comfortable
Yet breathtaking
I know you'd have enough
Self control
To try and push me away
But I'd have every hope
That when I held your hand in mine
You'd slip into the bliss.

I wish I could ignore them but I know it's too late my heart wants them...
And my mind says to stay away it'll only lead to pain...
So my heart ignores my mind and in the end gets broken...
My heart asks my mind"Will it always hurt when I fall in love?"
My mind says"Yes from time to time there will be pain but you have to know who is worth the pain and who isn't"....
And then a few days later my heart tells my mind"He's worth more pain than could be given"
And all my mind says is"If he's worth it then hold on no matter how much it hurts"

The world was full once
Endless possibilities
I breathed in the hope
And exhaled sucess
The world was my oyster
Holding a unclaimed pearl
But the moment I turn away
And let someone interfer
I return to find my oyster
Cracked open
And containing nothing
The world suddenly got dark
Sucess became only dreams
And they would go unfufilled
The world showed me the truth
There Is Darkness Within Everything.

I'm human
And because of that
I sometimes take
The best things in life for granted
I sometimes don't realize how
Amazingly attractive you are
But I see it now
You are precious to me
Your amazing
Your kiss is amazing
Your eyes beautifully amazing
Your hug amazingly comforting
Your touch pleasurably amazing
You and everything you are
Is simply amazing
I know this and the world does too
Your simply magical
And I want nothing more
Than to spend my life magically wrapped up in you.

Whisk me away
Leave behind
The twisted thoughts
Of fear
We'll escape
To the land
Of sweet redemption
Be freed from the chains
That viciously hold us down
Nightmares impossible
For we're anywhere
But in the depths of evil
Together
We will prevail
Hope is not yet lost.

We'll pretend
We never argued
Like I never cried
Like it didn't hurt
And we didn't fall from our pedestal
We'll bury it
For another month
Until the storm once again stirs
Awakening the truth
If we don't fix it
We never will
And this
Us
We
Will never
Truly be okay.

I'm going to cry
Ready
To break
Can't
Explain
These emotions
But I know
You sure
Would be
Helpful right now.

My life
Not inhabited
By you
Is a lonely
Desperate thing
My survival
Forced
My pain
Intense
My waiting
Never-ending
My hope
Never dying
My love
Forever alive
The time
Spent away
Helped us
Reach clarity
Helped us
Part
To once again
Reunite
The distance
Was far
But now
We're here
Close.

Together.

If you foolishly think

You love me

Do what no one else has

Prove it

Scream it to the world

Make a complete idiot out of yourself

If You Love Me

Be Fearless.

I hope you know

The only thing

I have ever wanted

Was to spend my life

Happy and in love

And when we met

I knew I finally had a chance.

You asked me to draw a heart on your face,
But for me it is a sign of my love,
That would mean close contact,
While that excites me it makes me nervous too,
The truth is no matter what I still dream of you,
You have magical powers to lighten up my day,
Feelings though may not be returned,
You have another girl to caress,
To hold close,
To kiss,
To love,
And I don't really matter,
I'm just some girl who is hoplessly in love,
I'm just a girl,
Nothing special,
But she must be,
Because she has you.

Half the time
The mirror smiles at me
And the other half
Breaks because of me
Torn between the complexities of me

Imperfection,
Why should such a cruel word exist?

Beautiful,
Why should a word so magnificent be spoken so seldomly?

Why should I,
As a woman compare and contrast?


Why should it matter what size certain body parts are or are not?

Is the heart, the soul, not all you need?