to be hollow is to be stuck
somewhere between floating and drowning
just the days i run out of luck
times i thought i was doing something

i see it in his eyes
the disdain he's trying so hard to sugarcoat
his words filled with white lies
and all the other ugly words stuck in his throat

to be vulnerably open is to be shameless
something that i have mastered to do
i literally could not be a bigger mess
and it is his painful unspoken truth

sometimes i wish he would just utter it to my face,
and does not try to love me more than what i should only get
such a pure soul whose love should not go to waste
unlucky he is to have me as his greatest regret

each goodbye i bid hurt less
i try to think it isn't as painful as before

with tears i do my very best to hold
and anxious heart on the floor

i smile as they go

Storm is here
It's never been this cold
You're nowhere near
For me to hold

No stars in sight
You took them all
I'm out of light
In this world of no control

i've been secretly hoping for that courage
that tells me
you feel just like what I feel

but regret it after
a wave of thoughts came rushing into me

what would we do
with such courage
if there is

there should be no us
in a lifetime we're not meant to be

I took a deep breath
and looked at the leaves falling
it's like watching you go deeper into this
And I just let you be

I felt motionless and bare
The end was looking at me straight in the eye
And I just couldn't even drop a tear
I knew, I was, and still am not me

Was it a dream?
The beating of my heart felt surreal
You were supposed to be only in my mind
Everything was fine until it has been too much

Perhaps we found it serene
Like no reality would ever feel as free
As if the sun rises in the west and sets in the east
How impossible it was that no one can grudge

We both winked at the truth
The comfort of deceiving ourselves
These shouldn't have gone too far
We're too complex to be living in a world of our own

Here lies the unspoken words
Of our own little universe that made things costless
And the little galaxies we tried to make
Only to know at the end, I am alone

sometimes it's something
i'm still half away from you
most times it's nothing
you are the farthest i could view

i can't look you in the eye
that night still feels surreal
felt like truth sugarcoated with lie
things heart couldn't just conceal

now i'm having a hard time feeling
i don't know where to look
your candid disposition is lying
led me nowhere but stuck and hooked

sometimes there's something
things my lips refuse to say
most times there's nothing
things just go and fade away

somewhere,
in a dissimilar world,
you love me so much
that my air becomes yours
your hand quivers when you're holding mine, showing how afraid you are to lose your grip of it

your everyday decisions are made for my convenience,
your "i love yous" are inserted in long paragraphs of your messages,
and your actions show what you're shy to admit

somewhere,
maybe in a different time,
your love is overflowing,
your eyes are so focused on me
that your gaze proves how much you want what you see

your consistency is what keeps us alive
your promises are beautifully made and done
and your unwavering acts of love
are my own kind of guarantee

she thinks of countless things
about where it all began

the restless urge to understand


but in her normal days, she thinks of her hopes to be someone

but it's always easier said than done

It died when there was a threat of spark
I didn’t even notice the fall of each brick
Traces of tears flourished like a birthmark
That beautiful moment was like a magic trick

Inexplicable, it was
To see every little thing alive dying
When I thought it was a thing to last
But I was fooled by my own thinking

There were ups and downs, I knew
But never did I consider the extremity of it
I was happy when it grew
And now, I can’t even tell if it was really concrete

They say it’s a ferocity in disguise
A well-known thing related to insanity
Sugarcoated with truth, confronted by lies
Love is, indeed, such an eerie casualty

You are certainly a comfort in this chaotic world
You represent all of the existent things that were left unlearned
You give glittering lights to the darkest places of my soul
You fill every hole in me so I can be humanely whole

she will always remember
the bus ride home
and all the places
they’d been together
with all the disguises
they wore just
to hold hands
and the stolen kisses
they put much effort on doing

but of all the things she will
never forget about him,
it's the way he looked at her
with focused and begging eyes,
that will haunt her for the rest of her life

she loves him
like she loves to watch the sky turn orange every day

she loves him
as much as she loves to write poems in her worst state

she loves him
like she loves the promises behind every "come-what-may"

she loves him
like love is something she's not afraid

I said yes when I should've said no
And I kissed you when you needed to go

I smiled when I should've cried hard
I freely opened when I should've closed my heart

I even loved you more when your love's a fake
Oh the things I did just to be your mistake

Other times
Your heart can’t afford the
Things you want for yourself

And you try to understand the reason
Behind

Why people name love as happiness



Other times
Your brain just want to stop
Thinking

And you try to sleep and forget

But how can you have the peace of mind, if everything’s such a mess

Show me your bruises,
Scars,
Cuts,
Tears
And all the things she left you with


And I’ll still love you with every word and every breath
And all the things in between

For all the times
I made you laugh,

Suddenly you thought
It was not me
You want to love

I long for you on the way home,
Feeling lonely and helpless

I long for you when I try new things,
For you were always there so I wouldn’t make a mess


I long for you when I see chromatic lights
Now you left me in black and white

I long for you every time I smile
It’s different now without you on my sight

I fell in your fairytale land like Alice fell in the rabbit hole.

I fell in love with the characters as if they were my dear friends.

I loved the words and the simple language.

You made up your words as you went ahead.

You had style, man.

there will always come a point
where you need to cease

having those of your dreams
about what-could-have-beens

Unsaid words
Hurt more
Than said words can cure

For they have never been alive
And never been recorded in time

In the end,
We’re all just human beings,
Hanging on the thought that love,
Only love,
Can fix our broken pieces

I lose you all the time
In sunsets, In sunrise
In rains, In sunshine
In truths, in lies

How foolish am I
To wait when you say wait
To reply when you say bye
To love you even more when you're too late