Liquid courage to numb the pain.
Intoxicated to forget.
Offbeat blood, sent from heart to vein.
Returns with a guest, she just met.


She closes up, leaves the bar clean.
To her apartment, around three.
In bed she lays, counting some sheep,
That mock her, thinking she will sleep.
She hears the crickets’ lonely beat.
Reminding her of creeps she meets.
Sometimes they have a potential start.
But never truly go that far.


Each night dealt with some other cards.
But slowly starts to build up guard.
She puts less time in her makeup.
But drunks continue to pick up.
She joins in shots, hopes to pass out.
But in her head she hears the shouts.
Her heart’s hunger for real love.
Her clouded thoughts rise above.


A newly turned insomniac.
No longer sleeping on her back.
Till curtains peek with starry eyes.
So bright, leaves a forceful rise.
Her sobs like strings of violin.
A void no liquor can fill in.
Despite how much she tries to drown.
The aches resonate with shrill sounds.


Another night, still found no one.
A man enters, two drinks and done.
She questions him, “What is the rush?”
Always pulled into a quick crush.
But never really tends to last.
As he mumbles about his past.
A bartender, like therapist.
As alcohol reveals the gist.


Now drunk and loud, he starts to shout.
Before his crash, he raises doubt.
He talks about, the best he lost.
Always at home, waits for the toss.
She cheers him up, when in a rut.
He gets up again, “That **** mutt!
To see her hurt, curled up in bed.
I held her paw, up till her death.”


The next night, slept pretty early.
He was perfect, brown hair curly.
Her eyes were lost, but not with lust.
Enjoyed his smells, delicious must.
A piece of her, became a part.
Happy to save his sinking heart.
Rescued him, he slept on her rug.
Named Milo, her three-legged dog.

I don't even know you yet,
but I love u more than life itself..
Your existence already has the power to define me.
Through you I am complete, I have found meaning and most importantly you have
made any tangible achievement loose its value.
I'm taken by the mere thought of you,
you are one experience I never want to forget,
from the pleasure to the pain.
There is no way in hell I shall ever make you carry the burden of knowing that you were a mistake,
if by any chance your ears are bruised with such cutting words and you find yourself starting to believe them, let my love for you combined with your fathers love be proof that you were planned. Your existence could have only come about through the little things such as the crazy giggles your father and I exchanged,
the one kiss he reassured me with at all times that I'm his,
the heartfelt sometimes senseless conversations followed by unique oneness of the soul and you were made.
You my love,I've longed to announce your presence within me,to feel your first kick,to see my body change into something I too might not like at the end of the day but if that's the sacrifice I should take for you,I would do it in a blink of an eye.
You are my religious decision, I needed to be your fathers wife in order to get you.
You are our right track to securing our financial stability,your father and I don't want to deny you of anything you need because of financial strain, the thought of you motivates us to be financially secured.
We can not predict the future, so we can never be too sure of the financial burden we might face,
so love of my life know that your father and I are trying really hard to hand you most things in life on a silver platter.
I know that when you are born your father and I will question everything but also be grateful for each thing, this will only be caused by the beauty we see in you created by us and blessed by HIM.
I can't predict how my nine months will be but I'm truly blessed that its your father who will take care of me,
he too will see a side of me he has never seen before but he will love me through the pain,
the tears,
the hormonal outbreak,
the confusing mixture of cravings,
the long hours of labour and the joy I shall share with him because at the end of the day its not my pregnancy but our pregnancy..
My angel mommy and daddy love you..

Your vulnerability is so transparent i'm left with no option but to comprehend the authenticity that lies amongst these fragile words.
I'm tripping over anger, flaws and pain, in between your words I swear to God healing has not yet come. "There's a difference between running and trying to put something behind you".
It will hurt until it doesn't, it has torn you apart, but slowly you will realize the wound has scarred over. Wait for that moment, it will come.
I have never felt so broken at the sight of your words.
A human capable of calming each diabolical thought within you has seen life inside you and decided to crush you emotionally.
I won't go back and 4th about how she weighed her happiness over yours within split seconds,
love doesn't exist in doubt.
You jump in not knowing if you might be caught or left to be comforted by the cold floor.
I understood the cracks and the pauses in each sentence typed.
Emotional vulnerability deserves sacred warmth from the one you least expect to hurt you.
it will take time.
Public humiliation can't be forgiven and forgotten but the heart you've introduced me to has the strength to forgive.
No one is asking you to let go, there's no set time to do that.
The only thing that your surrounding wants you to do is not die in the process of wanting to forget.
Hatred has the ability of **** all traces of peace that exists from within.
The wounds are real!!
make sure you don't put a bandage over wounds that need nurture and time to heal because you'll see pain seeping through as a constant reminder that you quickened the healing process.
Yes words can make the pain go away,
but the moments shared will come rushing in different directions wanting to be remembered all at once.
Every song, picture, letter or scent that triggers her existence will unfairly want to overwhelm you.
Life is unfair, but don't bury yourself under all that pain...