Ive always listened to what you've said.
Not just the details.
But everything in bled.

You told me loving lies.
Left my true heart behind.
The thoughts piled up.
Words tangled in blue.

I hope you remember.
The laughter we shared.
The tickling games.
How i always whine.

Its time i take my rest.
Darling,
Life is cruel.
The tricks and it's lies.

I gave the best i could.
Though I cry and question why.
I have to leave.

Now.
She have your last name.
I hope she receives all that she deserves.
I know that goodbye is the beginning of
Uncertainties that the future might bring.
But darling, this is my goodbye.

Mummy,you're my plan B.
I wished you knew that.
I wish i could say it out to you.
But these words are sealed.

During my bad days, i look at you.
How your eyes sparkle.
Smile glitters.
All that is enough to make me -remind me- stronger than before.

Some days
I see how your eyes gets heavier.
Body gets weaker.
Hands get rougher.
But you never once complain.

Some days
I see you crumbling.
Like how dried breads turned into crumbs.
So allow me to pick up this pieces
and remold you.

Some days
I watch you shine
Like angel walking by or like sunshine after rain.
Those days you made me feel alive.

We don't share much.
In Fact
I don't share any of my problems to you.
But you know me like the back of your hand. Like a student remembering formulas.

Mummy, you're my plan B.
Cause no matter what happens
I'll always find my way to you.

The one who whom i look up to.
Catch me when i fall.
The one, I'm proud to call
"My wonder women".
Tearing steel door off its hinges.

"No matter what happens, we'll never be strangers."

Days like this i wonder how you're doing.
Surely we could send each other a text,
but it becomes archaic.

You and I.
We used to talk under the stars.
Laughing till our faces turn blue.

I kept all your gifts.
A polaroid of us.
Memories.
Buried in a box.
Safe,like how you used to make me feel.

5 years ago,
You came up to me.
Like a dream.
The kind that always leaves.

5 years later,
You left me broken.
Like a record.

I watched you grow.
Like a lotus flower that grows out of the mud.
Slowly blossoms and rise above the muddy surface.

Now.
Im left with only memories of us.
Stored away in the back of my mind.

So nights like this.
When i need you most.
I reminisce all the good memories we had.
With tired eyes, tired mind, tired soul.

Just so you know.
If ever,in future you need me.
You don't have to call me.
Or drop a text.

Just run to me.
Like a kid running to the finishing line.
With arms wide open.
I welcome you.

I am not going to tell you that life will be easy.
Its gonna hit you hard.
Like a loud slap stung in the face.

But darling,
Don't you worry.
I've tried.
Catching all the pain i wanted to heal.

Those days when disappointment strikes.
Like a stab in the chest.
Say "Thank you".
Allow yourself to reach out for the stars.

Feel the pain.
That's only gonna make you stronger.
And darling.
Don't you ever apologize for the way your smile refuses to stop shining.
Your eyes refuses to stop glittering.  

Be brave.
Fight like a warrior.
And whisper.
You have yet to meet my mother.

I remember the day I first saw you.
You send shivers down my spine.
You're attractive.
But too loud.
Too showy.
Just screaming for every girl's attention.

Yesterday,i saw you again.
You were sad and discontented.
And no longer loud and screaming for attention.
I grew selfish out of fear.

Often I find myself trying to relive the moments again.
But it will never be the same.
So I hold you so close to me.
Afraid of being alone,
I couldn't let you go.
Now.
You're nowhere near.

May I adore you darling.
For as long as I can.
May we light the nights afire
and curb the day's hot sun.
To remember the passion of our love.