nuggz

Oct 2018

Sadhippie

sip

A hand
slowly moves its way
down
and I can feel my body turn
to water.
The secret
ingredient
to ***
is love.

Oct 2018

JustHayy

I loved you first.

funny how
your words
to her
once belonged
to me
same empty
story
same bleak
captivity

-JustHayy

Sep 2018

Anna

❤︎

i love you
read at 1:47 a.m.

nuggz Sep 2018

nostalgia.

you promised to build me a house of roses
well my dear
roses eventually wilt and die
and so bound was our love

nuggz Sep 2018

surrender.

it's not that nobody loved me
my mom always stuck around
when my life would spiral into addiction
she loved me unconditionally
when my father abandoned me
i have the best family i could ask for
my brothers, my sisters, my friends
they all love me
they've given me the best life they could
but why is that not enough for me?
i can't bring myself to put in the same effort
it's almost like my life is on repeat
every. single. day.
i am so tired of fighting my demons
i am ready to let them win
and drag my soul to hell

nuggz Sep 2018

abandonment.

all my life
i've watched many leave me
my first love
my father
the guy who i thought
was the love of my life
what is it about me that is so
unlovable
why am i so easily
forgotten
do you think they will finally miss me
when i am gone

nuggz Sep 2018

suicidal thoughts.

everything you told me
promised me
was it all a lie?

i guess our love was so full of
passion and fire
that it exploded right in front of my face
with no warning

how do you wake up one morning
and decide that you don't love someone anymore

i put all of myself into you
planned an entire life with you
you made it seem like you wanted that too

and then the next day its
"it wouldn't work out in the long run"
"we can't be together"

why couldn't you have told me that?
now I feel betrayed and used
did you ever love me?
or was i just another distraction

now i'm back to nothing
unsure of what i'm supposed to do next
this happens every time

i wish i could find someone to love me
the way that i love them
i'm ready to give up

i feel like once i finally have a plan
i eventually end up with nothing
and i am so ready to let it all go
i am so ready to let myself go