Maybe someday in a different life,
With a different smile
You would love me.

It's not much now,
My spirit...
But maybe you could just brighten it up
A little more.
At least let it see that it has a time and
A place.  
Where it can be.

That could be our rhythm for now.
Just until I'm me,
Really... me.
Until I know who that is indefinitely.
I would really like that.
It's comforting to think about you,
Maybe
One day thinking of me too.

If only huh?

I'm not good now, soon though.
I will be.
Good enough for me.
You might see.

Tag along and see how much
In love we could be.
I adore you for existing.
I just have to say it.
Maybe you will too, for more or less.
That would be nice.

You're out there.
I'm here.
Maybe somewhere,
Someday
Ending up with one another.
Together.

Maybe, that could be us.


*© NDHK

You drink me
As if...
I am your elixir
To stay sane.

You drink me
As if...
I am about to spill.




*© NDHK

If I had two hands
Amongst my own.
Would they be strong enough
To make a home.
Would they give me comfort
Where I feel alone.
If I had two hands
Amongst my own.

If I had two eyes
Amongst my own.
Would they see possibility
To help me grow.
Would they show me beauty
Where I see stone.
If I had two eyes
Amongst my own.

If I had a heart
Amongst my own.
Would it recognize mine
To be its clone.
Would it beat in sync
Where my love is shown.
If I had a heart
Amongst my own.



*©NDHK

I'd like to have tea with you
Every morning
Until you look like your grandfather



*©NDHK

When the intense fire
That sparks around inside
Can stir our spirit
To ignite everything it touches...
We call that passion.
When another flame
Can dance in step,
Fueling us
And expanding our heat...
We call that love.


*©NDHK

I catch glimpses of you.
As a pebble on the ground.
Where the breeze pushes you to the side.
When the rains stretch you down.

I catch glimpses of you.
Always looking toward the trees.
I never see your face though.
Dancing wild for the bees.

But I am only a pebble on the ground.
You are more like the trees.
I only catch glimpses of you.
But I'm in love with the parts I see.


*©NDHK

While I've prepared for this day,
I find I am not an island.
I too, need strength,
In the form of loving support
From friends and family to help me stay strong.
So thank you...
To family for being there.
To my friends for being there.
I do see the people around me,
Who've given me that awareness
That I'm not alone in this,
In life.
I thank you immensely and
I deeply love each one of you for it.

*©NDHK

Depression.
It's such a taboo word.

When taken at the hand of serious passing.
The fear invoking accountability of it.
For those who live with it,
It means you will have a partner in life
You want to get lost from.
The invisible presence of the mind.
A constant follower no one else can conquer for you.

And they will try.
Those who care for you.

They try,
They will ask of and advise and encourage.
Through muffled ears held by depressions contempt ridden hands,
You might be lucky to catch a word or two.
The faint taste of truth you want to believe in, but can't convince yourself of.
Not every time at least.

Peace holding it's arms open wide for you to fall into,
While you yearn behind a self created glass case.
Not knowing how to step out.
And when you find a key that fits...another lock appears.
A cycle of almosts.

But you don't give in easily.
You learn your enemy, to one day defeat it.
You struggle and overcome and fall back and GET BACK UP AGAIN.
You always get back up.
It becomes a dance no rhythm could match.
A two step with four feet.
Struggle becomes a mission for you.
You are rebuilding and revising and trying, trying, trying.

Perfect happiness is an ill advised illusion.
But content is real.
A tangible plateau you can see the rest of your life from.
Where foods taste sweet and spicy and you can smell the flowers you stop for.
Music vibrates your bones and sunsets never being so vivid.
Being nurished by your loves adoration.
Feeling your childs heartbeat against your chest.

When depression slips in when you're not looking.
Sets up shop behind your back.
Take time turning around to face it.

Some who suffer this wonder if there is any purpose for them.
In this burdened life.
Those who feel alone among loved ones.
I'd like to think, if they can't focus on anything outside,
Maybe the challenge within them...is IT.
Learning and growing from this sequestered state.
To better help others who may be in various stages.

And isn't that something...
To fight for your God given life?


*©NDHK

Maybe the intensity is too much to handle.
It's simple though.
Although for someone who lives with heavy all the time it seems simple.
Between two points is a line.
No matter how far in life you've lived it's always simple.
Just a person with a possibility
Wanting someone to think they're possible too.


*©NDHK

I have struggled alone on many roads under the umbrella of circumstance.
I have kept my laces tied and forged along my path.
While storms of devastation have tried to knock me down.
I have seen not the clouds of suffering but the rays beyond, that will guide me out.
As my journey still continues to test my faith, strength and will.
Through the paradigm of my own making, I will build a world of silk.


*©NDHK

When you've got no where to go.
When you've got no one there.
Make some music from your heart.
And let your soul out bare.


*©NDHK

I've realized
No one can move
Like you can,
When you dance
Oh, so close
Behind me.

*©NDHK

They say real eyes
Realize
Real lies,
So when you're hypnotized
While you socialize,
It's time to decide
Should you anesthetize
Or recognize
The time
To cut ties?

(©NDHK

You describe me
Like a painting you saw
When you were drunk.

Stretching your fingers
For the sanguine face
Faded inside it.

That's when you whisper
You'll love me
Without any doubt
To hold you back.



*© NDHK

Sometimes we feel like we have no idea where we're going.
We question ourselves but can't give the answers.
I think perhaps life cycles around.
In all things.
Whether it's lifestyle or hobbies or love.
Reminders to us of where we were and how we felt while we were there.
Rare times it's to let us know there is some unfinished business we should take hold of.
Gain that inspiration back for things we've neglected.
Things that are a part of our creative being.
Most of the time though,
Those reappearing tokens come to give us closure.
To make us aware when we've seemed to get lost off our paths.
We all get so caught up in small fragments of the here and now.
We forget to breathe and take in the big picture landscape we've created.
We feel lost.
Then something or someone comes back into our view.
But it's never the same as it was when we first endeavored there.
There's a reason for that.
As elusive as the message can be,
We believe we're to pick up where we left off.
It's unsettling and thrilling and we jump head first.
If only we realized we can't hold ghosts.
These things come as only subconscious reminders.
Sometimes we need a push open our eyes to our own selves.
We spend time figuring out how to add these things back into our lives.
The thing is though they were already there.
They never left.
That is the point though.
Every experience stays with us in varying degrees of effect.
We are molded by them and define ourselves in pieces.
We forget while we collect parts of us we always stay whole.
So those come agains are a way to help us recognise that.
We aren't meant to travel down that road again.
We don't need to delve into that routine again.
We need to see that we have grown from all of it.
Every step in that staircase leads to the house of you.
Without those conjoining moments we would be stuck still.
It's all in the process of becoming.
See who you are now and be grateful.
When life cycles back and brings you living memories remember
They are just memories, never duplicated.
They are the starting places of what allowed you to grow.
Keep climbing.
It's easy to want to fall back.
But like a tide shifting you'll only land on sand and miss the natural current.
So only look back to gauge how far you've come.
And keep moving.


*©NDHK

Listen,
If you're not going to say those things  
to me anymore.
If you're going to distance
yourself from me.
If you're going to spend the days pretending you don't think of me.
Then please I beg of you,
For my sake,
Try to stop looking at me the way you do.
Even though
It's the last thing I hope you do.
Mercy me.


*© NDHK

Ocean waters were never so blue,
Until I lost the sight of you.
The green that sprouts around my heart,
Taste of spearmint; cool and ****.
The subtext speaks volumes,
That which the voice cannot confirm.
That is why poetry is release for the soul that yearns.

~*NDHK

Sitting around and doing nothing is so exhausting sometimes.
Lacking inspiration to feel like you're actually "living" life.
Never enough, never enough.
That's what your mind tells you.
You run in circles, same thing every day.
It's often frustrating to feel like a impending explosion inside.
Just wanting to get out of this chapter and move to the next.
Misunderstood...
Is this the bad part of being alone?


*©NDHK

Some nights I stay up counting my good deeds.
Wishing they would amount to something other than totals.
Maybe good deeds can.
Maybe good intentions will.
The meaning of a wish.
The want of a dream.
All we are, is not what we're content with.
Always hoping.
Hoping for something else.
Something more.

Does not knowing what we don't have, make a difference in what we want?
How can you miss something you never had in the first place?
How do you know that feeling really exists?
Or maybe...
You just hope it does.
Being full and satisfied with life right now.
Maybe that's enough until something comes around and shows you more.
Of what you could have.
Of what can add to your right now happiness.

And what if we know exactly what is missing.
Of what we did have but no longer do.
Of what was so temporary...
We didn't realize it's importance until it was no more.
How can we know a moment is
'The Moment' when we are in it?
Doesn't seem fair.
To believe we should hold on tightly to every now.
Then when it passes, it's a memory.
No time to catch up.
Like being asked to answer a question you hadn't heard.
How do we know that's it's all supposed to matter?

It
All
Matters

Especially when it's over.


*©NDHK

There was a time I know
Not many years before,
I sat with heart in hand
On your living room floor.

Your eyes held invitation
Wanting me to understand
Your good, bad and ugly
And see you as a man.

Memories and glimpses,
Visions and dreams.
Roll themselves together
To make sense of everything.

Now when I think of love
Something real and true,
It's for a boy with eyes
A little green and a little blue.

*©NDHK

Love...
It is made second with the hands,
But it is born first in soul.

Just because you are single,
Not yet sharing a home.
Doesn't mean you are available.
Doesn't mean you are alone.

Because your hand doesn't hold
Another's in the day.
Doesn't mean your heart isn't
Full in the night.

Growth happens without someone.
Growth happens with someone.
Love is there all the time.

I know how my heart loves.
Who my heart leans toward.
God knows my truth
And that's enough.


*©NDHK

Thinking of you
Is the air conditioning
To my soul
In the sweltering heat
Of my life.

It's all
Strawberry wine,
Warm July nights
And slow, slow dancing.

*©NDHK

When he looks at me
It burns me
Like the midday sun
In late July
Reflecting off lake water.  

I'm surrounded
And I can't get away.
Even if I did
I would still feel his heat.

*©NDHK

Don't give me roses.
Don't give me rings.
I am not simple and those are just things.

If you do love me,
If it is true,
Then here are the means I would like from you.

Paint me canvas,
Sing me a song,
Write me a letter with words that are strong.

Show me your funny,
Show me your shy,
Share all the dreams you have in your mind.

Hold me when I'm sad,
Hold me when I'm happy,
Hold me either way because I'm a little bit sappy.

Pieces of your heart,
Parts of your mind,
I want to learn you bits at a time.

What I'm trying to convey,
What I hope that you got,
It's you that I love so it's only you that I want.

*©NDHK

If we were sea creatures
In a restaurant tank.
You would be the one
I'd save from the dinner menu.

Because you're my lobster.

*©NDHK

If this feeling is rope
And we are the knot,
I don't want to know, where I start and you stop.

Tied to an anchor
Tied to a dock,
Or hung on a wall for a ticking clock.

I know who's before me,
I know who's behind,
I know He made your hand to fit with mine.

If we are beaten by storms
Or steady still like rocks,
He shows us together what is
By growing from what's not.

Some call it a blessing,
Some call it the worst.
I just call it love, and give thanks to Him first.

*©NDHK