My heart is heavy and all I can think about is dying.
I feel my arms shaking, my heart pounding, my head exploding,
but it's all in my mind

Nobody can tell that I'm experiencing a massacre inside.
Everyday another part of me dies. unnaturally
I can feel the gun being put to my chest,
it's threatening to tear me apart.

I'm in agonizing pain,
and people don't understand.
First-aid kits and words can't fix these wounds.

'I love you' is not a bandaid and I can't keep from bleeding out.

NR2016

Perhaps it isn't love,
they don't laugh anymore.

NJ2016

screaming to an empty crowd,
glass eyes and swollen limbs.
hands are grasping on railings
of a train leading to nowhere,
when all I wanted was a ticket
to somewhere.

nature seems to be the only beauty
in this life of pain and struggle;
but trees are trees,
and lakes and oceans are nothing but water,
and the weather will cry sometimes.

but even still,
none of that is enough to make me feel at home,
to make me feel okay alone.

NJ2016

Our observant minds will be the best and worst aspects of any relationship. I don't know if you notice how your fingertips curl at my waistline, but I do. Don't stop that heaven even if the devil is in the details.

8:21am turns to magic when you put the sun in our eyes via white screens with bouncing letters. "Good morning, babe" was all I ever needed to transform me into a morning person on the weekends.

Never underestimate the Power of the Pen. You told me the stars on the island reminded you of my beauty; worthy of a dedication page. You didn't find the time to say goodbye; worthy of being written off.

Inspiration comes in the darkest hours. Give me something other than desperation to grace my pages with at 4am.

You will never disappear, even when you do. Forever engrained in journals and failed publications, as we all wish your memories could smear as easily as pen ink

we're just not that simple.

he only makes me feel worthy
when his hands are gripped around my waist,
and his tongue is falling to their place.

he doesn't mind my messy hair
or my running makeup;
he tells me I'm pretty
while he stares at my body
dressed in lace.

he loves me as an obligation;
I'm second to the lust he wants to instill on my body;

I gave him all of me,
but all he wanted was the parts of me clothes hide.

NJ2016.

I'm in love with him,
and everything hurts.

Sometimes love isn't enough,
and I don't know why.

Make my brain stop,
it keeps wishing to die.

My light is gone.