February is tomorrow
Is October and is yesterday.
The winds start to chill and I can't find sleep.
So I'll walk down the dark streets to the corner
And wait for nothing and no one.

Silence greets the drifter as she steps lightly on the cement
Hoping to create a footprint deep enough to leave a mark.
But instead creating a slight wind that taps windows of sleeping scouts
Dreaming of leaving. Waking to nothing.

Sleep can't find the wicked and the wicked can't find sleep.
Insomnia strikes again and this time
It may stay.

See there's this guy that keeps me up at night.
He sits in the corner of my room-
Not on the floor, not on the ceiling, but just hovering there-
Just above my dresser.
And he just waltzes into my dreams.
And he says to me "Kasey, you know why I'm here."
Sometimes he looks like a woman without a face.
Sometimes like a child.
Sometimes he's a soldier or my father or my mother.
So I wake up. And I think.
About my Grandparents being married for sixty years
About working for that long at loving another person.
I think about who I am and who I want to be.
And where I'm going how I'm getting there.
All the while he's still hovering in the corner of my room
Telling me "Kasey, you know why I'm here."
And I won't leave you alone until you understand.
That to the left there is a path and to the right another
And one above you and one below you.
Through you and throughout you.
And there's no medium for which to make a choice
But your own two hands.
And you'll get up and write at three in the morning
For people who just don't care.
About things they don't care about.
And your migraine will not go away.
You know why I'm here, Kasey.
"You know why I'm here."

I'm the type of person who can either sit by herself under a weeping willow
Reading quietly or writing poetry about life being an inside inferno,
Or who can go clubbing with her friends, get drunk and show up at 5 in the morning.
That's me, I either spend my day being in an immense joy, or spend it mourning.

I'm the type of person who is everything and its contrary,
I can fall in love with the same person whom I hated yesterday,
I can forgive in two seconds someone at whom I've been angry
I can be strongly willing to leave, and then I suddenly decide to stay.

Once I realised I wasn't in love with the person I had been waiting for, two years after
And realised at the same second that I wanted the person I had just lost.
My brain and heart didn't quite agree with each other,
But now it's to late to get back the girl I love the most.

One minute someone's my best friend, then she gets on my nerves
One minute I really want something, then I just change my mind,
One minute I find myself pretty, then I suddenly hate my curves
One minute I wanna open my eyes to the reality of the world, then I wish I was blind.

I suddenly realise why some people can't see me,
I'm so hard to live with, too difficult to stand,
I'm actually working on myself to be the person I want to be,
Because if I don't react, she's not coming back, ya'll understand ?

To all the Lost souls wandering around the Earth,
If you have problems, believe me they all come from you.
You'll have to give your life another chance, a rebirth,
Otherwise you'll be the person you never wanted to.

i wish i could close my eyes to the ghosts that haunt me
whose sting feels like sleeping with contacts in
and having nightmares about the words she said

both of which make me wake up
with red eyes—and
pupils made of
ghost.

I pity your daughter
And all the little girls
Whose listening ears are
Steeping in the poison
Creeping out of her pores
Like the festering mold
That comes when good things die
Without the sun

I pity your daughter
For the things you never
Taught her or maybe you
Said them but you were too
Busy praising her lack
Of skill to make her see

That in this new free world
Her hatred will have no
Place because we aren’t quite
Perfect but we try and
Her eyes that only see
Skin and race will not serve
Her well if she leaves the
Backwoods and opens her
Mouth in all its wrongness

My sister’s beauty and
My best friend’s wit are lost
In her ignorance and
I pity your daughter
For the world and the life
And the magnificence
Of a song that she will
Not be able to hear

It’s a shame.

We all want someone who will kiss our flaws away,
And fix us,
But that doesn't exist,
Because how could someone love you,
When you can't even love yourself?

such a feral, taunting creature
   concealed in anxious mind shadow
elusive as the day is too long

its refracted image submerged
   beneath comprehension's surface
defying every attempted grasp

its soothing and alluring voice
   subtly indistinct to my disquiet
like words whispered into a fan

i cried until my pillow
was saturated with salt
though no amount of tears,
could fill the emptiness
in my chest.

-kk