Never used to show emotion
Always kept it within
But the more I grow
The more I found
That my feelings
Were hard to hide
And conceal

I feel your words
Crawl into my mind
Almost every night
I sit awake thinking
If I should embrace you
Or leave this flame behind

My thoughts are of you
You do captivate me
Just never knew what to do
When it came down to
Loving someone
With all of me
And the passion
I keep within

I always day dream
Catch my breath
When it gets too hot
It's just weird to feel
All of these emotions
Which for years
I always held inside
Need to bite my tongue
Before I overstep the mark
And cross the line

You're so attractive
it is almost tragic
to be attracted
you're so flawed
but still a magnet
can't help but like it
the way our hearts
are beautifully connected
we fight constantly
but in love we remain
I love you endlessly
you're the one
who is worth the pain
I sink further
when you're near
when you are here
my doubts disappear
to me it is very clear
you're the love of my life
and I want to always
have you right there
close to my heart
close enough to touch
but not to the point
of obsessed attachment

I am such an emotional mess
Just so **** ******* sad
Feels like my heart is
Drowning in un-cried tears
I feel so bad, sickened by myself
I ****** up so much
I lost my best friend
She was my everything
Feels like I have nothing
I spend my nights crying
Feeling so bad these days
I miss that girl so much
I owe her my life
She was always there
But I was an idiot towards her
Sitting here guilt tripping
So many emotions
My heart and brain
Is almost exploding
Honestly wish I had a gun
I'd have so much fun
Pointing it to my head
Ending my horrendous pain
I lost the love of my life
Again and again and again
I had the best person alive
But I messed everything up
And now I just wanna die.

it seemed so perfect
on the flawless surface
but not on
the inside
when I
see our face
I have to
fake a smile
trying not to
let my feelings
crash and collide

I thought we'd get married
and I'd have your kid
but some things
are not meant to be
you seem to love me
but our fights break me
they leave me in misery

when you sleep
I stay awake
my heart
it breaks
because
you were
my love

but feelings change
and lovers drift apart
seems so strange
and it's really hard
I thought our love
was rock solid
I guess it's not

Over the past few years, the need for happiness,
was high, but my feelings were low,
I guess you could say I am numb,
but I have a strong appearance,
so the sadness never shows.

The happier I was at times,
the more misfortune I'd receive,
as an unwelcome gift.

My heart has been torn, broken,
emotionally scarred and bruised,
but I have never given in to the pain,
because of the strength I supposedly possess,
a reason I let go without thought,
despite knowing of the later,
consequence of me doing so,
eventually I knew that trouble,
trouble was to come & I'd be undone,
I would have to battle myself again,
knowing I could be easily broken,
while trying to patch up my old wounds,
and heal my own personal scars.

A few years ago, I had no faith,
I had no hope, I had no strength,
I was lost, delusional at my worst,
trying to keep myself together,
in this battle of life or death.

I have my own share of regrets,
my secrets, my stories to tell,
but the thought of telling people,
made my eyes swell up,
ready to cry tears,
I was willing to stop,
stop my own heart,
to keep my pain,
a secret in tact.

Self-love, what is that?
I have never known it.
I have only ever covered myself,
in the disguise which is my smile,
whether anyone ever knew,
I guess I'll never know.

people walk, people run
people talk, people scream
people love, people fight
they all leave things behind

they cry, they smile
they die, they feel alive
they hurt, they breathe
they do this naturally

living is a beautiful thing
unless you're torn down
or possibly struggling
whether positive
whether negative
we all want the same

success (money, love and cars)
the bling (diamonds and pearls)
the good life (eternal happiness)

we all want to have the best
but sometimes we're dealt the worst

My poems are all so different,
I'm definitely not organized.

I write without thought,
I post without a doubt.

I knew things would change
Didn't really realize how much

They say sarcasm is the weakest sense of humor
Well, pardon me for being funnier
It's better to be sarcastic than basic
So use it to your advantage
It's better than
Slapping idiots
Who ask stupid questions

Excuse me, if I offend
That's not what I meant
But stop acting like I'm doing wrong
When all I'm doing is being less boring
Than all of you who make this place
Such a disgrace to live in
Loosen up a little
And have fun

Don't be so serious
Have fun
Loosen up

been awake for what seems forever
sleep is not for me
my precious lover
is all I need
to carry on
and stay
energized
whoever made up
the whole 'beauty sleep' ****
is a person who speaks lies
I could sleep for a lifetime
and I'd still be drained