You were everything I wanted
And nothing that I need

r  14 Mar 13

I wanted to feel her next to me.
The touch of her skin and the rhythm of her breathing. It used to keep me alive, but I've learned to live without it. Fall came, the wind blew and the leaves fell..and with them my heart fell too. Perhaps, maybe a little too hard. She had that perfect demeanor, a special sense of love that no other whole heart could recognize but my very own broken mess. It knocked upon the door to my heart and rang loud and strongly throughout the complexity of my being. I, hesitantly poured myself out for her. I knew she barely noticed. Oh, but babe, I noticed her and every perfect insecurity, and everything that made me hit my knees in awe, in wonder. My eyes rested ever so sweetly on her perfect smile, on that glisten in her eyes, searching for that spark that brought me gently to life. I sat quietly beside her not to interrupt the sound of heaven ringing from her lips as she sang sweetly the lyrics that escaped from the speakers in the doors of the quiet car. I'd compliment her voice, and she'd laugh and shake it off. Everything she hated so much about herself, I so dearly loved...And I ached to show her just how every little thing that she despised in herself grabbed onto my heart, making me stumble and fall upon my knees in astonishment at her precious existence. At her beautiful being. Of course she looked at my tattered, torn heart and noticed that major pieces and strength was missing, wondering how I had been so strong. It was she who kept me on my feet. Not once did she wonder, not once did she guess that I would ever entrust this broken, worn heart to her to help me fix..Even if it meant just patches and stitches. And of course, I looked at her heart, and saw just the same. She had pieces missing and crumbled bits that fell to the floor of her soul.. And this..this is where my journey, my mission began. I searched for her aching heart and soon, with a long journey found it. I arrived near her heart to mend what was broken. Of all the things I ever wanted in life, to fix the brokenness inside this soul had been my desire. Even if my actions went unnoticed, the thought of her happiness in the back of my mind gave me a soft, sweet voice of comfort that reminds me, this love..this love is not worthless. With her, I feel this gentle touch of freedom, the soft whisper of love and a taste of pure acceptance. For days now, her lips and heart and the image in her eyes had been my destination. While fixing her heart, not finding all of the pieces that had gone missing, I'm using what's left of my own to replace the old so she won't have to remain sweetly broken. I will be broken still, from the pieces I've taken from my own but if it means fixing a love that has lost it's sincere touch, then content in my mess, this brokenness, I'll know with absolute certainty she was worth it.

She'll ALWAYS be worth it.

You sing yourself to sleep in an ice cold tub,
Life is cheap and so is a gun,
You shiver and make love to your cigarette,
Tonight your going down wearing a tin can baret,
You know, opurtunity is a simple game of russian roulette,
And so you ponder life one last time,
The life youve just traded in for a dime,
Biting down on the barrel, its cold and it numbs your lips,
Its but an inevitable prophecy like the solar eclipse,
through the muffled silence; youre singing,
-"Please, don't wake me, no, don't shake me
Leave me where I am, I'm only sleeping"

Who will save the oceans my friend,
Who will fight to save the endangered?
Who will battle the darkness to find what is pure?
What strength will the rest of the world be able to draw
Without you soldier?
Who will take ***** earth and turn it into art?
Who will make victory from  awful death?
Who will fulfill the dreams of the lost one?
Who will show that we can prevail from this dark experience?
And who will stand with us, me, to find better
To find solutions.
To find others deep in madness and fashion a lifeline of hope?
By ourselves we are weak. Together we cannot be broken-dissuaded-rendered hopeless

Stand my brother. Or kneel. But whatever you do. Don't give up.

The two words that automatically come to
my mind when I see you: Imperfectly Perfect.
The way your eyes light up when you're excited,
the way you smile like a 5 year old when you're happy,
the way you roll your eyes and then secretly smile when I tease you,
the way you try to act annoyed with me but end up laughing,
the way you dance when you're hyper,
the way you show me the peace sign at random times,
the way you talk, some times like a tantrum throwing little 6 year old,
the way you're so stubborn,
the way you order me around.
the way you understand me so perfectly,
the way you hug me,
the way you add a "Maybe" after thanking someone,
and the way you do so many other things.

It's adorable how you're shy at the most unneeded times,
and how you're careful about the decisions you make,
and how you and I have a similar perspective,
it's like you know exactly what you want, and how you want it.

Standing over here and looking back, I feel so blessed.
Having you as my best friend is something I never thought was possible.
If only you saw yourself through my eyes,
you'd realize just how amazing you are.
Thank you for being there for me and pulling me through hard times,
I'll always be here for you, the same way you've always been there for me.