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I LIKE TO SAY YOUR NAME

I like to say
your name

when you're
not here

turn you
into sound

conjure you out of
thin air

so that you appear
before me

dressed in sound
only

memory sketching in
the rest of you

as if sound
was just an outline

and love
colours you in

adding the voice last
so I can hear you say.

"Hello you..!"
and there you are

as present
as present

can be.

I like to say
your name

when you're
not there.
We are what we eat
Can I eat someone disciplined
And abandon myself
To shed my self hatred
And become someone new
.
Last night
she said I was cold.
Unreachable.
Surrounded in a halo of frost.
It burnt her fingers
as she dared to touch,
but there was little there.
Just … frost-bite,
and the sense
that she was alone in the room.
In body I was there,
but the Boat of Millions of Years
was sailing through my eyes
to the intended destination,
my lost mind.
She called to me
but I was to far to hear.
Down her soft cheeks
the tears did stream,
as she screamed my name
over and over.
She screamed until
the screams turned to sobs,
as the slow realisation
that I no longer knew her,
knew me, knew anything,
hit her like a wave of grief,
freezing her emotions dead.
Last night
she said I was cold.
And I was cold
because I knew that it was
our Last Night.


© Pagan Paul (16/02/20)
.
 Feb 2020 N Chairannisa
FrankieM
She loves so wholly
But even god himself knows
She can’t be fulfilled
Tell me what you think of Liberation.
Is it a loss or gain?
It offers the option to disregard,
And to act without refrain.

Allows you to loose your hold of,
Things held with tightened grip.
Yet along with all that power,
Your morality may just slip.

Along with all your ethics,
Virtue then viewed with disdain.
So, tell me what you think of Liberation.
Is it a loss or gain?
No option, but to be perceived
Violent, Aggressive, Irrational
Identity becoming an other

Words of malice, they mystify
Words of ignorance, they vilify
Subverting consciousness and articulation

Our identities, fighting to be
Autonomous landscapes
Hoping in anticipation for liberation

No real notion of we or me
Implicating it's inhuman to be foreign
When they represent as much of we and me

Scandalizing alternative identities as subversive
Advancing erasures in favor of hegemony
Propaganda favoring what is most white

Amelioration for the obliteration of cunning identity?
No more cooperation, ****** the euphemisms
That cover up, and help justify marginalization

Our identities, fighting to be
Autonomous landscapes
Hoping in anticipation for liberation

Time to ****, ******, massacre eurocentric ideology
We preach no violence, being not them, just we
But cannot request to be free, must tear it out by force

Eurocentric ideological pandemic inhabiting, inhibiting the soul of mankind
Unthinkable abomination concealed in the veil of appropriated minds
Necessitating exorcism for the incarcerated conscious mind

When we completely violate mandates of eurocentric ideology
When only we appropriate our own identity
When we all nullify the color of our skin
As profanity or inadequacy

Our identities, fighting to be
Autonomous landscapes
Hoping in anticipation for liberation
Will be awaiting purgation from alienation
February 1, 2013
Once I lost you
Once I tossed you
You never said a word
I never could have heard

Miracle you bore
A refugee in the wreckage
Sharpening your wings
Withstanding dangerous oppression

Young being, incomplete being
Trying not to succumb
To your own capitalist appropriation
Eminent commodification
Implicating your body and mind

Who remained unscathed?
Who wreaked the havoc?
Just...so many wings could gain wind
In this cage, lacking space

System simply cannot withstand
Cost of everyone's liberation
Convenient systematic predilection
Where some are never meant to fly

Miracle you bore
A refugee in the wreckage
Sharpening your wings
Withstanding dangerous oppression

How can any wings soar
When the trail of their shadows
Hide systematic traps for our failure
To ensure only a few course the skies

Liberation is not meant to be
Just yours or mine
No commodity for private consumption

Its usage, embrace, and appropriation
Has universal implications
A radical transformation that seeks to complete a human being
Emblematic of an ideological reconceptualization
A revolutionary new understanding of being human

A re-authentication of our own liberation
Purely predicated on that of others
June 4, 2013

— The End —