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995 · Mar 2019
Nostalgia
myrka Mar 2019
After all this time
I still get shy
You came to visit
And my heart goes ballistic
Beating faster and faster
Every time I walk past her

Oh God I still love you
You’re a heavenly view

To see your angelic face
I can still remember the taste
Of your lips,  
Sweet and honey
Richer than money
911 · Sep 2019
2 years after breakup
myrka Sep 2019
So am I loyal
Or
Pathetic

for still loving you
876 · Dec 2018
night dreaming
myrka Dec 2018
I pictured you on the night we first spent together
you looked at me with your little crooked smile
and your bangs brushing the surface of your eyes
That’s where I fell in love
You were beautiful

Then

You went away
Yet you’re still here
but it’s not the same
you’re different
You’re gone

you said
“I don’t love you”
then you went into her arms
Giving her that crooked smile

It’s been a year & four months
I’m here waiting for your return...
Why have I not  convinced myself that you are never coming back.
I stayed up all night thinking of you
721 · Apr 2017
Everglow
myrka Apr 2017
I don't hate you
but you don't deserve anything that comes out of me
i do not wish to hold on
& keep getting hurt
i'm sorry if that is disappointing
or breaking my promises of being there for you
but you have a reputation of not keeping promises
so it shouldn't **** so much.

Thank You.
for the excruciating pain that you left me with
thank you for trying to make me small
You just don't know how to handle a raging storm
was i too much for you?
did i scare you to run away?
i do not feel guilty for not fitting into the role you wanted me to play in
when it came to fighting for my love
you were no where to be found
you retreated each time
i made things easier for you and you liked that
that's when you loved me
but you left when things got hard
so you're the coward
sometimes it takes a tragedy to see what is really supposed to happen.
and you showed it
thank you
you were my world but you did nothing but try to make me feel small
you may think all this is absurd and full of lies
but is it?
you were only there for the good parts,
the quiet
and simple parts.
you couldn't handle my storm
and that is not my fault
i am not hard to love
you just weren't enough.
719 · Jul 2018
nothing left for you
myrka Jul 2018
If I could give you everything of me, I would
I could give you my brain, so I could be thinking about you all the time.
I could give you all of my 24/7 of life, just so I can give you my time
I could give you my whole heart, so you can have my love.

but when she left...
she took all of me
leaving me with nothing for me to give
675 · Aug 2018
Naked
myrka Aug 2018
I get that there are things that if you don’t feel right about something then don’t go for it.
But...
What made you think there wasn’t something right about me?
What took you so long for you to discover something like that?
After peeling me all these years did you finally found something that you were looking for?
Did you finally realize after all
my love
&
devotion?
What about me did not set right for you.
Tell me.
What did you see about me when you peeled me completely naked?
For you to think i wasn’t good enough for you
659 · Aug 2017
Fearless
myrka Aug 2017
Be proud of yourself
for trusting your gut
&
following your heart
even if it wasn't the right direction
600 · Dec 2018
First Love
myrka Dec 2018
I’ve accepted the fact that I will always carry a special place in my heart for you
I will love you
Even when I’m with someone else
Even though you’re in love with someone else as well
I will look at you and admire your sweet face
I will grin of hearing your laugh
I know people say I’m crazy
That I shouldn’t be around you while I’m still in love with you
This unrequited love
But I can’t help it.
You may be with someone else
You may be happy
And that’s enough for me to keep me going
As long as you’re happy I am okay.
533 · Jan 2018
I am Sorry
myrka Jan 2018
I apologize for ever putting up with the **** I didn’t deserve
I am sorry for constantly allowing myself to be the punching bag
I am sorry for not defending myself
I am sorry for not loving myself.  For choosing her instead of me
I’m sorry for the crying
For going through this excruciating pain
I’m sorry for putting the blame on myself. I am sorry for not seeing that I am the universe
That I had failed to see how beautifully  unaware of myself I am that I can
create something even far more fantastic.  
I am sorry for neglecting me.
An apology poem to myself.
453 · Jan 2019
Confession
myrka Jan 2019
Hi,
I still love you.
445 · Nov 2017
Never fall in love
myrka Nov 2017
Never fall in love with the one who makes you cry (all the time)
Never fall in love with the one that belittles your feelings.
Never fall in love with the one who says they will never hurt you
Never fall in love with the one who says they love you but their actions shows otherwise
Never fall in love with the one with many apologies after each **** up they make
Never fall in love with the one that always leave
Never fall in love with the one that doesn’t make time for you
Never fall in love with the one who always makes excuses.
Never fall in love with someone who gives you 1% when you give 99%
Never fall in love with the one you sell your soul to
Never fall in love with the one who asks for a million chances. They shouldn’t have hurt you in the first place.
Never fall in love with someone who promises forever
Never fall in love with someone who makes empty promises
443 · Nov 2017
Jar of Hearts
myrka Nov 2017
My heart feels like it’s about ready to burst
The stitches and bandaids can no longer keep it whole
each wound starts expanding, breaking it more apart
my broken pieces cannot be put back together.
To my heartbreaker, if this is it, can you carve my heart out? And donate mine to your jar of hearts.
I surrender
439 · Mar 2017
My Dear Lesley
myrka Mar 2017
This is for you
You bring life out of me
You teach me how to live and make me forget about all my troubles
My dear Lesley
I love you with all my heart
& never forget that you are what makes this world shine
The world is yours
Thank you for all that you have done for me
Thank you for being my friend
& stood by my side when it was me against the world.
For everyday I am grateful for your existence
Anyone would feel blessed to have a person like you in their life.
Never forget that you are so much better than what anyone else will ever be.
This is for you
My dear Lesley
405 · Jan 2019
Day Off
myrka Jan 2019
I wonder what you’re doing today.
Are you with her?
Kissing her?
Hugging her?
Making love to her?
All the things you used to do to me when you had your days off.
374 · Dec 2018
Rebound
myrka Dec 2018
we never stood a chance
it’s sad but it’s true
my heart yearns for another heart
374 · Jul 2018
you are here
myrka Jul 2018
you are here
breathing
living
and no matter how much you tell yourself you aren't worthy
you are.

he may think you are not
but who taught you you were born to impress him?
that he is your sun and you are the planet?
who taught you that it is essential for you to orbit around him

baby I know you are heartbroken but this pain demands to be felt at the moment
so you can grow
and become God

you will be invincible.

you are here
still living
still breathing
surviving.
355 · Dec 2018
Back n Forth
myrka Dec 2018
I am
    trying
        to remember
             you
and
    let go of
          you  
    at the same time
323 · Nov 2017
Thoughts
myrka Nov 2017
I wonder what’s on your mind when you come across me
Do you think about our vulnerable moments?
Our intimacy?
Our future?
Our love?
Or do you think about the worst?
That you had always hoped for
Or is it simply nothing?
A stranger that you once knew.
Do you feel hurt like I do?
Do you feel that ache in your heart?
Do you think about me at all?
304 · Dec 2019
11:25pm (Central Time)
myrka Dec 2019
If I could meet you all over again
I would
& perhaps the timing would be right
292 · Apr 2017
Temporary Storm
myrka Apr 2017
I hope you're okay
Hoping it gets easier day by day

You said "you're hanging"
How I wish it was more than that

You're a strong girl
You got this

I know it's tough
But when you get through the storm
A rainbow will come out
And enlighten your world.
256 · Dec 2017
Showers
myrka Dec 2017
I spent most of my time scrubbing my body as hard as I could
I want it to come off
Your touch
Your kisses
It’s tattooed all over me
I feel empty
And numb
I cry until my eyes burn from the mascara
How could I ever entrust you with my heart
myrka Nov 2017
No matter where I go my surroundings seem to narrow down on me
Suffocating the hell out of me
leaving me without a breath
Isolation at its finest
It doesn’t matter if I’m with the people I love
I feel completely
alone
Am I okay?
No i am not
There you go.
I said it.
I am not okay
And I don’t know when I will ever be okay.
I just know that I’ve grown adjust to it
242 · Apr 2017
Brown Eyes
myrka Apr 2017
All I saw were galaxies in your eyes
239 · Apr 2017
My Paper Heart
myrka Apr 2017
So where do I go from here    
                                 now that you broke my heart  
                 did every damage to me from the start
                              How do I heal a broken *****?
                     All I am to everyone is just a burden
                                             Because you broke me
                                    Not leaving me in one piece
                            Please, Im begging on my knees
                                                           ­ 
                                                            Wha­t do I do?
                                      To mend this broken heart
228 · Oct 2017
Lesley
myrka Oct 2017
Lord only knows how much love I have for you girl
We met when both of our hearts were broken
We cried together
We laughed
We been through everything and honestly there is not a single soul that could replace you
i need you
And this is an oath to you
No matter how far apart we come in life
I will always be here for you
And I will do anything for you
You are my best friend
And I love you with all my heart
**Happy Birthday
222 · Mar 2017
Do I really though?
myrka Mar 2017
I forgive you
For the way you pushed me away far out to the ends of the world,
How you wired me to your path of destruction.
for all the days I spent assembling a flood of my tears only to find you evacuating with pieces of me that I invested in you.
for all the empty promises that came out of them soft lips of yours
who's kisses are tattooed all over my skin inked with your lies & secrets,  
for the innumerable amount of chances you asked for,
taking my love for granted.
for your "apologies,"
That constituted to no change whatsoever.
I forgive you for breaking me
the kind of breaking where there is nothing but solitude & emptiness.
I forgive you,
At least I'll try to.
218 · Aug 2017
Bottled Out
myrka Aug 2017
I went ballistic
I let everything out
I know that wasn't the reaction you were expecting
But I'm tired
Of excuses
& the sorry's
that you don't even mean
218 · Feb 2019
Oscar
myrka Feb 2019
you see right through me
So I don’t flee

You let me know the truth
brutal as it sounds, my hearts feels soothe

You and I are somehow alike
And that is how we unite

Thank you for being my friend
Just know I will always give you a hand

when you are feeling low
Or when you are about to glow

I am there
Rooting for you
217 · Mar 2017
Warrior
myrka Mar 2017
Each day seems like I'm fighting a battle.
So yeah, it is a long day.
As I see the sun rise until it descends to the ends of the earth, I pick up pieces of me.
Little by little.
And pray to God that I win this war.
209 · Feb 2019
;
myrka Feb 2019
;
I am trying to hold on
but
There’s only so much I can carry
If I could just let go
I
Will
Be
Set
Free...
205 · Jul 2018
Lost
myrka Jul 2018
I am still lost
& it’s only been a year
You were my home
I sought shelter within you
but now i have no home
and it’s been a year since I’ve gone missing
However...
No ones been looking for me.
Or even care to noticed
204 · Jan 2019
But
myrka Jan 2019
But
“I love you but I need space”

“I love you but there is someone else”

“I love you but I don’t deserve you”

There’s always that but that seems to be stronger than love itself

or was it even love?.
myrka Nov 2017
I love you and I know that doesn’t make sense because how can I still love you after experiencing the most ****** thing. but all I know is that everything made sense when I was with you. I wish you could come back to me. I felt so safe.
I love you with all my heart and I wish you could have chosen me I wish for so many things out of you and me.  But I know I can’t be with someone who isn’t even sure about me what kind of relationship is that right?
I’m not naive,  you may be my first love but that doesn’t mean it was supposed to be like this. I’m not naive because I knew exactly how I felt about you and I’m pretty sure I’m grown enough to know what the **** to feel.
You were my best friend my other half and it’s not easy losing two people at once. It’s not easy losing the person that means so much to you  
I don’t know when it will ever be enough for me. I just know that this love keeps going. You still give me butterflies whenever you talk to me. And if I were to see you right now I know my whole face would feel  hot.
I get so happy whenever you text me.
I wish you were sure about me I wish you could commit to me, I wouldn’t ever hurt you
I would protect you.  And love and cherish you.
I guess none of these things were enough for you to stay. I guess you’re seeking for something else that I can’t give you. Even if we’re no longer in each other’s world I still pray for  you & your well being. And even if it means you being happy without my existence I still wish it upon you. I miss you terribly and not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
*these are all the things I want to say but I can’t.
200 · Dec 2018
l e t t e r s
myrka Dec 2018
I couldn’t think of a word to say about you.
All this time I filled these pages up about you
And tonight,
It wasn’t writers block that seized me.
I just didn’t have any hurt in me to express what I felt

Instead I wrote
“thank you, goodbye.”
200 · Jul 2017
Desires
myrka Jul 2017
I yearn
I wonder
I must have it
the feeling of being enough
197 · May 2019
Miserable at Best
myrka May 2019
I Still Love You
And trust me
If I could stop loving you, I would.

I
Am
Just
So
*******
Tired

Of being in love with you.
no matter how much I’ve tried, my heart yearns for you
Please stop seeking me
You make it so hard to live in this world
when all I want to do
Is get away from you
194 · Nov 2017
Feelings
myrka Nov 2017
When will it stop?
The hysteric cries?
The excruciating feel of your heart breaking?
The love?
The sadness
The feeling of being unwanted
I want it to all end.
187 · Nov 2017
Cecilia
myrka Nov 2017
Mother,
You told me not to make the same mistakes and settle for someone who doesn’t value me.
To not believe a word they say when they come back running just because they can’t find anyone willing to put up with their ****
I know you made that mistake with dad, I know how much disappointment you faced when he turned cold.
I understand every emotion and heartbreak you went through
Because I’m just like you
I kept having hope.
You cried for me every time she turned cold
You kept telling me to walk away before it’s too late
And if it wasn’t for you I would still be in that same place.
Dad may have not seen the diamonds in your eyes,
But you are the sun and you keep shining every **** day.
I love you with all my heart
185 · Feb 2019
Permission
myrka Feb 2019
Can I show you how capable I am to love?
184 · Oct 2017
Harlee Kae
myrka Oct 2017
Words can’t describe how much you mean to me
How much I Love You

If it wasn’t for your strength
I don’t know if I would have been okay
You seem to be the only one who can understand me
The only one who I can show what’s inside my heart.

I am so grateful for your existence
I miss you terribly
I miss you living in town.
I just need my best friend

I know you will bring great things to this world
And I couldn’t be more proud of you
Thank You
182 · Jun 2018
Incondicional...
myrka Jun 2018
Solamente
Dios
Sabe
Lo mucho
Que *te quiero
180 · Oct 2017
Birthday Message
myrka Oct 2017
“I forgive you, Wether or not you are sorry for anything you have done. I forgive you, if it is true what i’ve heard, that you fooled around with a girl during your ten day leave. I forgive you for leaving without saying a word to me. I forgive you for making me feel unworthy after hearing that you thought that i wasn’t pretty enough for you to date... perhaps you never think of me anymore and maybe this means nothing to you. so i guess this is mostly for me, but i forgive you. and just a little tip, don’t be a coward...be the kind of guy you’d want your sister to be with. Happy birthday,“
From Olive
175 · Dec 2019
Heartbreak Warfare
myrka Dec 2019
A little bit of me wanted you to stop me from leaving
Instead
you walked me out
and slammed the door at my face.
174 · Oct 2017
T
myrka Oct 2017
T
All I wanted was to love you from the start
But every chance you’d take you broke my heart
I’m broken & bleeding
But my heart is still beating
You may have hit me with everything you got
but I will put myself together without no second thought
170 · Dec 2018
On & Off
myrka Dec 2018
As soon as I’m about to step out of this quicksand

You walked back and yelled “wait!”

Falling back into the pit of sand, I prepared myself to suffocate once more

The cycle will never end
You can pour your heart out and list out all the reasons you need to go because you are exhausted from the hurt, and they will say “I understand.” Then come back as if nothing happened
160 · Sep 2017
Stuck.
myrka Sep 2017
I remember it all too well.
The feeling of feeling lucky
thinking this is a forever thing.
you and me

There is no way in unsaying I love you
Because I feel it deep in my flesh
in my broken heart

It's been months
And i am still on quicksand
Stuck on you
The sinking is very dreadful
Minutes turn to an hour
An hour turns into years.

*and all I can do is write sad words about you
159 · Aug 2017
Clones
myrka Aug 2017
If i had a clone
I am sure you would take advantage
Like always
Hate to break it to you
But I cannot exist in two places at once
I am not magical
You cannot decide to leave
then want me again
157 · Nov 2017
Heartless
myrka Nov 2017
I gave my heart to a ******* fool
155 · Jun 2018
Harlee
myrka Jun 2018
if you see this

I need you to stop.

If only you had my eyes and see so much perfection you have.
You know how they say about brown eyes?

Well yours have the power to melt every heart in this world.

Your soul is filled with gold, that kind of gold that not even the richest man on earth could afford.

I hope you know that you are amazing & loved.
And to me you are perfect.
You are the yin to my yang
The lumos to my nox
And without you i don’t know where I would be.
I love you with all my heart.
You are enough.
154 · Sep 2017
Baile
myrka Sep 2017
you are powerful
with a big heart full of love.
big enough to fill in the hole of this dreadful world

you are what I aspire to be
capable of many extraordinary things

your smile is contagious
and it is no wonder why you seem to paint colors into my world.

I loathe each human being who had the nerve to take advantage of your sweet soul.

I yearn to create more memories with you
Because having you as my friend is a blessing.
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