As I ran on this cloudy day
I felt the suns warmth, despite of the grey skies
A prime example showing that i will rise

It’s a cloudy day, but I can still see the light
That is awaiting me even at night

I ran and ran and I felt your presence in me
Each pace I took, i felt the the shackles set free

I will not give up
I will make it to the finish line

As I cross the line of victory
I praise you

Thank you God, for making me shine
Even in this cloudy day

The grass is greener on the other side
The storm has passed
Frowns turn into smiles
Cloudy days turn into sunny days
Worthlessness turn into confidence
Loss turn into my biggest win.

Thank you for leaving.

I know you don’t need me
And I
Most certainly don’t
But I wish you needed me
The way I need you

I love you even if we broke up years ago
I love you even after all the hurt you gave to me
I love you even if you are falling for someone else  
I love you even if you do not care about me anymore
I love you even after the destruction of our “forever & always”
Perhaps I will still love you,
Forever and Always

You do not feel like home anymore
You do not see the beauty in me

You do not see me at all

And I will not stay where I am not appreciated

So I must go
Where it feels like home

I love you but I love me more.

I hope you had a good birthday, I hope it was filled with nothing but love and happiness, surrounded by the people you love. I wish I could celebrate today with you. It’s one of my favorite days. You’re still my favorite person even though you’re far away from me. I know it’s pathetic to feel this kind of love for you. I love you still and I don’t ever wish the worst upon you. I wish you happiness. I love you. I really do. With all my heart. I hope you are doing okay. I hope you are living your best life. I love you. God I do. Happy Birthday T.

She is not you
When she looks at me
I picture it is  your face that I am seeing.
When our  lips touch
I pretend it is your lips that I am kissing.
When she touches me
I feel that it is your hand brushing the surface of my skin
And when we are intimate
I pretend that it is you I’m making love to.
And she is  perfect you know?
She treats me better than you ever did
she was the idealistic  you that I had portrayed

So if she is the exact replica of how I pictured you to be,
why can I not  I fall for her?

It’s 2020
And I’m still in love with you
I suppose you can say I’ve loved you for a decade.
Will this year be it? Will I finally get over you?
Please let this year be the one.

How is it so easy to fall in love
But it’s so hard to
Fall out of it?

If I could meet you all over again
I would
& perhaps the timing would be right

we must repent our sins
But I simply cannot repent on one
I do not regret being in love with her.
God please do not hate me for being who I am...

Once upon a time I wished for your love
Now I wish for my heart to forget about you

So am I loyal
Or
Pathetic

for still loving you

I Still Love You
And trust me
If I could stop loving you, I would.

I
Am
Just
So
*******
Tired

Of being in love with you.
no matter how much I’ve tried, my heart yearns for you
Please stop seeking me
You make it so hard to live in this world
when all I want to do
Is get away from you

After all this time
I still get shy
You came to visit
And my heart goes ballistic
Beating faster and faster
Every time I walk past her

Oh God I still love you
You’re a heavenly view

To see your angelic face
I can still remember the taste
Of your lips,  
Sweet and honey
Richer than money

I am trying to hold on
but
There’s only so much I can carry
If I could just let go
I
Will
Be
Set
Free...

Hi,
I still love you.

I am
    trying
        to remember
             you
and
    let go of
          you  
    at the same time

As soon as I’m about to step out of this quicksand

You walked back and yelled “wait!”

Falling back into the pit of sand, I prepared myself to suffocate once more

The cycle will never end

How
   Do
      I
       Stop
           Caring
                  For
                      Someone
                               That
                                    Doesn’t
                                          Care
                                               About
                                                      Me?

I am sorry that I am distancing myself away from you
It’s not you, it’s me
And I know that is a very cliche thing to say.
You got your life together
I don’t. I still want to do many things
Things that don’t intertwine our lives together
I don’t feel the same for you as you do for me
And I know this sounds really bad to say
But it’s almost a burden to me
And it makes me feel trapped.
You will find a girl that will want the same things as you
But I am not your girl
I am still trying to get my life together
Still trying to recover my heartbreak
And your sweet words and actions are not enough for me at the moment

I am still lost
& it’s only been a year
You were my home
I sought shelter within you
but now i have no home
and it’s been a year since I’ve gone missing
However...
No ones been looking for me.
Or even care to noticed

If I could give you everything of me, I would
I could give you my brain, so I could be thinking about you all the time.
I could give you all of my 24/7 of life, just so I can give you my time
I could give you my whole heart, so you can have my love.

but when she left...
she took all of me
leaving me with nothing for me to give

And just like that i let you go
Like a balloon, I let you float away
All my anger and hurt finally popped
Goodbye... Forever
Now you can’t hurt me anymore

Wet pillows
Mascara running
Dripping rain
The loneliness is creeping up behind me
I can see it’s shadows
take me away
Take me away into the dark abyss
So no one can hear my hysteric cries
And even if they did hear me
No one would come save me anyways.