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Apr 2020 · 125
Cloudy
myrka Apr 2020
As I ran on this cloudy day
I felt the suns warmth, despite of the grey skies
A prime example showing that i will rise

It’s a cloudy day, but I can still see the light
That is awaiting me even at night

I ran and ran and I felt your presence in me
Each pace I took, i felt the the shackles set free

I will not give up
I will make it to the finish line

As I cross the line of victory
I praise you

Thank you God, for making me shine
Even in this cloudy day
Apr 2020 · 106
Spring
myrka Apr 2020
You used my tears
to nourish your ego
now your selfishness grew
you were made into a flower
a flower that blooms
myrka Mar 2020
The grass is greener on the other side
The storm has passed
Frowns turn into smiles
Cloudy days turn into sunny days
Worthlessness turn into confidence
Loss turn into my biggest win.

Thank you for leaving.
To my ex.
Mar 2020 · 83
Unanswered
myrka Mar 2020
How
Did
Love
Get
Away
From
Us?
Mar 2020 · 90
Journey
myrka Mar 2020
I know this path is right from me
The path that draws me away from you.

Sometimes I wish you would have followed me so we can go to this place, where we can be extraordinary together

But perhaps you would have led me back to the dark place

As I continue my journey to self love
I wish that you find your path
The path that brings you happiness
The path that brings you light
Feb 2020 · 110
Edge of Desire
myrka Feb 2020
I know you don’t need me
And I
Most certainly don’t
But I wish you needed me
The way I need you
I miss you
Feb 2020 · 87
Immensely
myrka Feb 2020
I love you even if we broke up years ago
I love you even after all the hurt you gave to me
I love you even if you are falling for someone else  
I love you even if you do not care about me anymore
I love you even after the destruction of our “forever & always”
Perhaps I will still love you,
Forever and Always
Feb 2020 · 46
Moving Out
myrka Feb 2020
You do not feel like home anymore
You do not see the beauty in me

You do not see me at all

And I will not stay where I am not appreciated

So I must go
Where it feels like home

I love you but I love me more.
Jan 2020 · 62
Untitled
myrka Jan 2020
Is it true?
Once you fall in love,
You cannot unlove them?
Even if your story is over?
Jan 2020 · 55
Happy Birthday
myrka Jan 2020
I hope you had a good birthday, I hope it was filled with nothing but love and happiness, surrounded by the people you love. I wish I could celebrate today with you. It’s one of my favorite days. You’re still my favorite person even though you’re far away from me. I know it’s pathetic to feel this kind of love for you. I love you still and I don’t ever wish the worst upon you. I wish you happiness. I love you. I really do. With all my heart. I hope you are doing okay. I hope you are living your best life. I love you. God I do. Happy Birthday T.
Jan 2020 · 34
Complications
myrka Jan 2020
She is not you
When she looks at me
I picture it is  your face that I am seeing.
When our  lips touch
I pretend it is your lips that I am kissing.
When she touches me
I feel that it is your hand brushing the surface of my skin
And when we are intimate
I pretend that it is you I’m making love to.
And she is  perfect you know?
She treats me better than you ever did
she was the idealistic  you that I had portrayed

So if she is the exact replica of how I pictured you to be,
why can I not  I fall for her?
Jan 2020 · 75
Happy New Year
myrka Jan 2020
It’s 2020
And I’m still in love with you
I suppose you can say I’ve loved you for a decade.
Will this year be it? Will I finally get over you?
Please let this year be the one.
Dec 2019 · 125
*sigh*
myrka Dec 2019
How is it so easy to fall in love
But it’s so hard to
Fall out of it?
Dec 2019 · 175
Heartbreak Warfare
myrka Dec 2019
A little bit of me wanted you to stop me from leaving
Instead
you walked me out
and slammed the door at my face.
Dec 2019 · 304
11:25pm (Central Time)
myrka Dec 2019
If I could meet you all over again
I would
& perhaps the timing would be right
Nov 2019 · 126
Please
myrka Nov 2019
we must repent our sins
But I simply cannot repent on one
I do not regret being in love with her.
God please do not hate me for being who I am...
Nov 2019 · 75
Paralyzed
myrka Nov 2019
You place your hand slightly on my arm
In that moment my body goes to shock
We catch each other’s gaze
In that moment I forget how to breath

Just the thought of you...
I’ve
Become
Paralyzed
Sep 2019 · 154
Once upon a time
myrka Sep 2019
Once upon a time I wished for your love
Now I wish for my heart to forget about you
Sep 2019 · 911
2 years after breakup
myrka Sep 2019
So am I loyal
Or
Pathetic

for still loving you
May 2019 · 197
Miserable at Best
myrka May 2019
I Still Love You
And trust me
If I could stop loving you, I would.

I
Am
Just
So
*******
Tired

Of being in love with you.
no matter how much I’ve tried, my heart yearns for you
Please stop seeking me
You make it so hard to live in this world
when all I want to do
Is get away from you
Mar 2019 · 995
Nostalgia
myrka Mar 2019
After all this time
I still get shy
You came to visit
And my heart goes ballistic
Beating faster and faster
Every time I walk past her

Oh God I still love you
You’re a heavenly view

To see your angelic face
I can still remember the taste
Of your lips,  
Sweet and honey
Richer than money
Feb 2019 · 209
;
myrka Feb 2019
;
I am trying to hold on
but
There’s only so much I can carry
If I could just let go
I
Will
Be
Set
Free...
Feb 2019 · 218
Oscar
myrka Feb 2019
you see right through me
So I don’t flee

You let me know the truth
brutal as it sounds, my hearts feels soothe

You and I are somehow alike
And that is how we unite

Thank you for being my friend
Just know I will always give you a hand

when you are feeling low
Or when you are about to glow

I am there
Rooting for you
Feb 2019 · 185
Permission
myrka Feb 2019
Can I show you how capable I am to love?
Jan 2019 · 453
Confession
myrka Jan 2019
Hi,
I still love you.
Jan 2019 · 204
But
myrka Jan 2019
But
“I love you but I need space”

“I love you but there is someone else”

“I love you but I don’t deserve you”

There’s always that but that seems to be stronger than love itself

or was it even love?.
Jan 2019 · 405
Day Off
myrka Jan 2019
I wonder what you’re doing today.
Are you with her?
Kissing her?
Hugging her?
Making love to her?
All the things you used to do to me when you had your days off.
Dec 2018 · 600
First Love
myrka Dec 2018
I’ve accepted the fact that I will always carry a special place in my heart for you
I will love you
Even when I’m with someone else
Even though you’re in love with someone else as well
I will look at you and admire your sweet face
I will grin of hearing your laugh
I know people say I’m crazy
That I shouldn’t be around you while I’m still in love with you
This unrequited love
But I can’t help it.
You may be with someone else
You may be happy
And that’s enough for me to keep me going
As long as you’re happy I am okay.
Dec 2018 · 355
Back n Forth
myrka Dec 2018
I am
    trying
        to remember
             you
and
    let go of
          you  
    at the same time
Dec 2018 · 374
Rebound
myrka Dec 2018
we never stood a chance
it’s sad but it’s true
my heart yearns for another heart
Dec 2018 · 200
l e t t e r s
myrka Dec 2018
I couldn’t think of a word to say about you.
All this time I filled these pages up about you
And tonight,
It wasn’t writers block that seized me.
I just didn’t have any hurt in me to express what I felt

Instead I wrote
“thank you, goodbye.”
Dec 2018 · 170
On & Off
myrka Dec 2018
As soon as I’m about to step out of this quicksand

You walked back and yelled “wait!”

Falling back into the pit of sand, I prepared myself to suffocate once more

The cycle will never end
You can pour your heart out and list out all the reasons you need to go because you are exhausted from the hurt, and they will say “I understand.” Then come back as if nothing happened
Dec 2018 · 876
night dreaming
myrka Dec 2018
I pictured you on the night we first spent together
you looked at me with your little crooked smile
and your bangs brushing the surface of your eyes
That’s where I fell in love
You were beautiful

Then

You went away
Yet you’re still here
but it’s not the same
you’re different
You’re gone

you said
“I don’t love you”
then you went into her arms
Giving her that crooked smile

It’s been a year & four months
I’m here waiting for your return...
Why have I not  convinced myself that you are never coming back.
I stayed up all night thinking of you
Oct 2018 · 148
~
myrka Oct 2018
~
You are light
You bring light to my darkness

You are love
make me your vessel
Aug 2018 · 106
Not Blindly In Love
myrka Aug 2018
I don’t think I was ever blindly in love
I loved you at your worst
When you pushed me away
Or left me for other girls
Or even when you referred me to as your friend to your friends and family
I loved you still
With all my heart
Through the good and the bad
I was not blinded
I was not naive
I really did love you
Aug 2018 · 134
I Will Not Get Hurt Again
myrka Aug 2018
I
Don’t
Want
To
Be
Loved.

             Cupid
         You
          Can
         Go
           And
              Break
                   Someone
              Else’s
             Heart
Aug 2018 · 94
22:49
myrka Aug 2018
I find myself thinking of you
missing you
tormenting me until I am put to sleep
Please go away
Aug 2018 · 122
late night texts
myrka Aug 2018
It’s taking everything of me to not text you right now
And pour my heart out to you.

I know you don’t care
Aug 2018 · 81
How ?
myrka Aug 2018
How
   Do
      I
       Stop
           Caring
                  For
                      Someone
                               That
                                    Doesn’t
                                          Care
                                               About
                                                      Me?
Aug 2018 · 83
New City
myrka Aug 2018
I am petrified
I will not make it on my own
But I must go away
So I can forget about you
And grow
And finally be at peace
Aug 2018 · 675
Naked
myrka Aug 2018
I get that there are things that if you don’t feel right about something then don’t go for it.
But...
What made you think there wasn’t something right about me?
What took you so long for you to discover something like that?
After peeling me all these years did you finally found something that you were looking for?
Did you finally realize after all
my love
&
devotion?
What about me did not set right for you.
Tell me.
What did you see about me when you peeled me completely naked?
For you to think i wasn’t good enough for you
Aug 2018 · 106
Heartbroken
myrka Aug 2018
I cried for the whole night
And even though it’s sunrise
I still have a lot of
pain
&
agony
that need to transform into tears.
Jul 2018 · 100
Will
myrka Jul 2018
I am sorry that I am distancing myself away from you
It’s not you, it’s me
And I know that is a very cliche thing to say.
You got your life together
I don’t. I still want to do many things
Things that don’t intertwine our lives together
I don’t feel the same for you as you do for me
And I know this sounds really bad to say
But it’s almost a burden to me
And it makes me feel trapped.
You will find a girl that will want the same things as you
But I am not your girl
I am still trying to get my life together
Still trying to recover my heartbreak
And your sweet words and actions are not enough for me at the moment
Jul 2018 · 118
Big Bang Theory
myrka Jul 2018
I love you
But you love her
the universe didn’t want us to collide after all
Jul 2018 · 205
Lost
myrka Jul 2018
I am still lost
& it’s only been a year
You were my home
I sought shelter within you
but now i have no home
and it’s been a year since I’ve gone missing
However...
No ones been looking for me.
Or even care to noticed
Jul 2018 · 374
you are here
myrka Jul 2018
you are here
breathing
living
and no matter how much you tell yourself you aren't worthy
you are.

he may think you are not
but who taught you you were born to impress him?
that he is your sun and you are the planet?
who taught you that it is essential for you to orbit around him

baby I know you are heartbroken but this pain demands to be felt at the moment
so you can grow
and become God

you will be invincible.

you are here
still living
still breathing
surviving.
Jul 2018 · 719
nothing left for you
myrka Jul 2018
If I could give you everything of me, I would
I could give you my brain, so I could be thinking about you all the time.
I could give you all of my 24/7 of life, just so I can give you my time
I could give you my whole heart, so you can have my love.

but when she left...
she took all of me
leaving me with nothing for me to give
Jul 2018 · 140
Falling
myrka Jul 2018
What a crazy feeling
I don’t want to get attached
But I already am
myrka Jun 2018
And just like that i let you go
Like a balloon, I let you float away
All my anger and hurt finally popped
Goodbye... Forever
Now you can’t hurt me anymore
Jun 2018 · 127
Lonely Hour
myrka Jun 2018
Wet pillows
Mascara running
Dripping rain
The loneliness is creeping up behind me
I can see it’s shadows
take me away
Take me away into the dark abyss
So no one can hear my hysteric cries
And even if they did hear me
No one would come save me anyways.
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