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~
myrka Oct 2018
~
You are light
You bring light to my darkness

You are love
make me your vessel
~
myrka Nov 2017
~
You can laugh at me
Make fun of me
Say I am “overreacting”
I need to “chill”
You can threaten me
But I stood up for myself and to me that means everything
For once I’ll stop letting you belittle me
Bullies are overrated.
~
myrka Oct 2017
~
Don’t for a second think you are not strong

*Darling,
your heart is in pieces right now
but it is still pumping
;
myrka Feb 2019
;
I am trying to hold on
but
There’s only so much I can carry
If I could just let go
I
Will
Be
Set
Free...
myrka Feb 2018
Come to me,
come,
Come to me
You brought the sun to me
myrka Dec 2019
If I could meet you all over again
I would
& perhaps the timing would be right
myrka Jun 2018
Do not fall for their eyes
They are filled with deceiving lies

Do not listen to their treacherous words
They will cast a spell on you with a curse.

I know love is essential for you to yearn
But with this one you will never learn

They will **** all your love out
leaving your heart with a drought

They are not worthy of you and your love
you are way above
myrka Aug 2018
I find myself thinking of you
missing you
tormenting me until I am put to sleep
Please go away
myrka Sep 2019
So am I loyal
Or
Pathetic

for still loving you
myrka Nov 2017
I love you and I know that doesn’t make sense because how can I still love you after experiencing the most ****** thing. but all I know is that everything made sense when I was with you. I wish you could come back to me. I felt so safe.
I love you with all my heart and I wish you could have chosen me I wish for so many things out of you and me.  But I know I can’t be with someone who isn’t even sure about me what kind of relationship is that right?
I’m not naive,  you may be my first love but that doesn’t mean it was supposed to be like this. I’m not naive because I knew exactly how I felt about you and I’m pretty sure I’m grown enough to know what the **** to feel.
You were my best friend my other half and it’s not easy losing two people at once. It’s not easy losing the person that means so much to you  
I don’t know when it will ever be enough for me. I just know that this love keeps going. You still give me butterflies whenever you talk to me. And if I were to see you right now I know my whole face would feel  hot.
I get so happy whenever you text me.
I wish you were sure about me I wish you could commit to me, I wouldn’t ever hurt you
I would protect you.  And love and cherish you.
I guess none of these things were enough for you to stay. I guess you’re seeking for something else that I can’t give you. Even if we’re no longer in each other’s world I still pray for  you & your well being. And even if it means you being happy without my existence I still wish it upon you. I miss you terribly and not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
*these are all the things I want to say but I can’t.
myrka Dec 2018
I am
    trying
        to remember
             you
and
    let go of
          you  
    at the same time
myrka Sep 2017
you are powerful
with a big heart full of love.
big enough to fill in the hole of this dreadful world

you are what I aspire to be
capable of many extraordinary things

your smile is contagious
and it is no wonder why you seem to paint colors into my world.

I loathe each human being who had the nerve to take advantage of your sweet soul.

I yearn to create more memories with you
Because having you as my friend is a blessing.
myrka Jul 2018
I love you
But you love her
the universe didn’t want us to collide after all
myrka Oct 2017
“I forgive you, Wether or not you are sorry for anything you have done. I forgive you, if it is true what i’ve heard, that you fooled around with a girl during your ten day leave. I forgive you for leaving without saying a word to me. I forgive you for making me feel unworthy after hearing that you thought that i wasn’t pretty enough for you to date... perhaps you never think of me anymore and maybe this means nothing to you. so i guess this is mostly for me, but i forgive you. and just a little tip, don’t be a coward...be the kind of guy you’d want your sister to be with. Happy birthday,“
From Olive
myrka Aug 2017
I went ballistic
I let everything out
I know that wasn't the reaction you were expecting
But I'm tired
Of excuses
& the sorry's
that you don't even mean
myrka Apr 2017
All I saw were galaxies in your eyes
But
myrka Jan 2019
But
“I love you but I need space”

“I love you but there is someone else”

“I love you but I don’t deserve you”

There’s always that but that seems to be stronger than love itself

or was it even love?.
myrka May 2018
You had me trapped in my chrysalis
Refusing me to metamorphisize into something beautiful

Each tear
anger
hurt
Formed wings

& I flew
Never looking back,
Becoming a beautiful butterfly
“Without change there would be no butterflies”
myrka Nov 2017
Mother,
You told me not to make the same mistakes and settle for someone who doesn’t value me.
To not believe a word they say when they come back running just because they can’t find anyone willing to put up with their ****
I know you made that mistake with dad, I know how much disappointment you faced when he turned cold.
I understand every emotion and heartbreak you went through
Because I’m just like you
I kept having hope.
You cried for me every time she turned cold
You kept telling me to walk away before it’s too late
And if it wasn’t for you I would still be in that same place.
Dad may have not seen the diamonds in your eyes,
But you are the sun and you keep shining every **** day.
I love you with all my heart
myrka Aug 2017
If i had a clone
I am sure you would take advantage
Like always
Hate to break it to you
But I cannot exist in two places at once
I am not magical
You cannot decide to leave
then want me again
myrka Apr 2020
As I ran on this cloudy day
I felt the suns warmth, despite of the grey skies
A prime example showing that i will rise

It’s a cloudy day, but I can still see the light
That is awaiting me even at night

I ran and ran and I felt your presence in me
Each pace I took, i felt the the shackles set free

I will not give up
I will make it to the finish line

As I cross the line of victory
I praise you

Thank you God, for making me shine
Even in this cloudy day
myrka Jan 2020
She is not you
When she looks at me
I picture it is  your face that I am seeing.
When our  lips touch
I pretend it is your lips that I am kissing.
When she touches me
I feel that it is your hand brushing the surface of my skin
And when we are intimate
I pretend that it is you I’m making love to.
And she is  perfect you know?
She treats me better than you ever did
she was the idealistic  you that I had portrayed

So if she is the exact replica of how I pictured you to be,
why can I not  I fall for her?
myrka Jan 2019
Hi,
I still love you.
myrka Jan 2019
I wonder what you’re doing today.
Are you with her?
Kissing her?
Hugging her?
Making love to her?
All the things you used to do to me when you had your days off.
myrka Jul 2017
I yearn
I wonder
I must have it
the feeling of being enough
myrka Mar 2017
I forgive you
For the way you pushed me away far out to the ends of the world,
How you wired me to your path of destruction.
for all the days I spent assembling a flood of my tears only to find you evacuating with pieces of me that I invested in you.
for all the empty promises that came out of them soft lips of yours
who's kisses are tattooed all over my skin inked with your lies & secrets,  
for the innumerable amount of chances you asked for,
taking my love for granted.
for your "apologies,"
That constituted to no change whatsoever.
I forgive you for breaking me
the kind of breaking where there is nothing but solitude & emptiness.
I forgive you,
At least I'll try to.
myrka Jun 2018
You have watched me drown
In my ocean of tears
letting the waves take me away
myrka Feb 2020
I know you don’t need me
And I
Most certainly don’t
But I wish you needed me
The way I need you
I miss you
myrka Apr 2017
I don't hate you
but you don't deserve anything that comes out of me
i do not wish to hold on
& keep getting hurt
i'm sorry if that is disappointing
or breaking my promises of being there for you
but you have a reputation of not keeping promises
so it shouldn't **** so much.

Thank You.
for the excruciating pain that you left me with
thank you for trying to make me small
You just don't know how to handle a raging storm
was i too much for you?
did i scare you to run away?
i do not feel guilty for not fitting into the role you wanted me to play in
when it came to fighting for my love
you were no where to be found
you retreated each time
i made things easier for you and you liked that
that's when you loved me
but you left when things got hard
so you're the coward
sometimes it takes a tragedy to see what is really supposed to happen.
and you showed it
thank you
you were my world but you did nothing but try to make me feel small
you may think all this is absurd and full of lies
but is it?
you were only there for the good parts,
the quiet
and simple parts.
you couldn't handle my storm
and that is not my fault
i am not hard to love
you just weren't enough.
myrka Aug 2017
"You have memories to look back on today"
God, I know you are a memory
And there you are
I feel angry again
How could I be so stupid?
You were an angel in disguise
And i fell for it
You had a way of deceiving people
And during that period of time where you were saying sweet words to me
There was the bad memories that came along with it.  
Right at that instant.
I loathe those memories of you
Good & bad
After all your intentions weren't pure.
myrka Jul 2018
What a crazy feeling
I don’t want to get attached
But I already am
myrka Aug 2017
Be proud of yourself
for trusting your gut
&
following your heart
even if it wasn't the right direction
myrka Nov 2017
When will it stop?
The hysteric cries?
The excruciating feel of your heart breaking?
The love?
The sadness
The feeling of being unwanted
I want it to all end.
myrka Sep 2017
This burning flame has been burnt enough
myrka Dec 2018
I’ve accepted the fact that I will always carry a special place in my heart for you
I will love you
Even when I’m with someone else
Even though you’re in love with someone else as well
I will look at you and admire your sweet face
I will grin of hearing your laugh
I know people say I’m crazy
That I shouldn’t be around you while I’m still in love with you
This unrequited love
But I can’t help it.
You may be with someone else
You may be happy
And that’s enough for me to keep me going
As long as you’re happy I am okay.
myrka Nov 2017
I can talk to anyone
Hold hands with anyone
Hug anyone
Kiss anyone
And i still wouldn’t feel at home.

*you felt like home
myrka Mar 2020
The grass is greener on the other side
The storm has passed
Frowns turn into smiles
Cloudy days turn into sunny days
Worthlessness turn into confidence
Loss turn into my biggest win.

Thank you for leaving.
To my ex.
myrka Apr 2018
Happiness is within me
A feelings towards being free

I wake up
Not a single feel of dreading the day
I feel okay

No it’s not a mask
I actually feel okay
A peaceful okay

As if i conquered the storm
The sunlight leading me to a beautiful rainbow.

Happiness is within me
myrka Jan 2020
I hope you had a good birthday, I hope it was filled with nothing but love and happiness, surrounded by the people you love. I wish I could celebrate today with you. It’s one of my favorite days. You’re still my favorite person even though you’re far away from me. I know it’s pathetic to feel this kind of love for you. I love you still and I don’t ever wish the worst upon you. I wish you happiness. I love you. I really do. With all my heart. I hope you are doing okay. I hope you are living your best life. I love you. God I do. Happy Birthday T.
myrka Jan 2020
It’s 2020
And I’m still in love with you
I suppose you can say I’ve loved you for a decade.
Will this year be it? Will I finally get over you?
Please let this year be the one.
myrka Jun 2018
if you see this

I need you to stop.

If only you had my eyes and see so much perfection you have.
You know how they say about brown eyes?

Well yours have the power to melt every heart in this world.

Your soul is filled with gold, that kind of gold that not even the richest man on earth could afford.

I hope you know that you are amazing & loved.
And to me you are perfect.
You are the yin to my yang
The lumos to my nox
And without you i don’t know where I would be.
I love you with all my heart.
You are enough.
myrka Oct 2017
Words can’t describe how much you mean to me
How much I Love You

If it wasn’t for your strength
I don’t know if I would have been okay
You seem to be the only one who can understand me
The only one who I can show what’s inside my heart.

I am so grateful for your existence
I miss you terribly
I miss you living in town.
I just need my best friend

I know you will bring great things to this world
And I couldn’t be more proud of you
Thank You
myrka Dec 2019
A little bit of me wanted you to stop me from leaving
Instead
you walked me out
and slammed the door at my face.
myrka Aug 2018
I cried for the whole night
And even though it’s sunrise
I still have a lot of
pain
&
agony
that need to transform into tears.
myrka Nov 2017
I gave my heart to a ******* fool
myrka Aug 2017
My home
no longer feels like it's your presence
My home is me
Life was good before you
And it sure as hell
Can be good again
myrka Nov 2017
I don’t yearn for you to come back
I don’t yearn for your warm embrace
Or the feeling of security

I yearn to be okay
I yearn for the cloud to be removed above my head and welcome in the suns warmth
I yearn for my independence
myrka Aug 2018
How
   Do
      I
       Stop
           Caring
                  For
                      Someone
                               That
                                    Doesn’t
                                          Care
                                               About
                                                      Me?
myrka Aug 2017
"For better or for worse"
I get that phrase now.
However I shouldn't let myself be convinced that it is okay to let all the ******* slide.
But you give me butterflies in my stomach like how you did first time falling in love with you 8 summers ago.
I'm irrevocably in love with you.
Along with a massive feel of resentment.
myrka Jan 2018
I apologize for ever putting up with the **** I didn’t deserve
I am sorry for constantly allowing myself to be the punching bag
I am sorry for not defending myself
I am sorry for not loving myself.  For choosing her instead of me
I’m sorry for the crying
For going through this excruciating pain
I’m sorry for putting the blame on myself. I am sorry for not seeing that I am the universe
That I had failed to see how beautifully  unaware of myself I am that I can
create something even far more fantastic.  
I am sorry for neglecting me.
An apology poem to myself.
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