Have you heard the saying,
Your wish come true if you put ir in writing.
So work hard and keep manifesting,
And the universe will answer the calling.
So here I am praying.
Making my wishes is seeing,
For the year following,
A surgery to me is happening.
A new kidney my body will be accepting.
I am already claiming,
This is the future I will be getting

There was a wake
In our general outpost
Just a two minutes walk away from home
I think it's the ninth funeral this year?
Last month,
A 22 years old; non-binary; lesbian died on suicide.
Before that,
There's an old man found dead because of heart attack.
Then our neighbor, I don't know why.
And when I passed them
I wished they are happy
Because the mourners did
Three of them shouted "Bingo"
But, I'll be honest
I hope it's my turn next.

I've had my first love when I was 8,
Nothing special to him
He's just a boy I just always played with
I don't remember his face anymore

I've had my first love when I was 12
He's the smartest boy in class
But we graduated
Parted our ways

I've had my first love when I was 14
High school, a year older
She had a girlfriend back then
She's my friend

I've had my first love when I was 16
A classmate
I told him in front of class I like him
He smiled, said nothing back

I've had my first love when I was 17
3 years older than me
Admired him for 4 years
And sometimes, I still remember him

I've had my first love when I was 21
He found me at the time when I was not really looking
He is my first in everything.
And it always feel like first time

It's first love
No matter how I looked at it
The feeling are the same
For a new experience

Sometimes you asks
"What's the universe plan?"
You wonder,
People around you move forward,
Then, you are here —
Still here
Stuck from the beginning
Time passes,
But still in the beginning.
You did your best
But then you ask
"Did you really do your best?"

People say "Calm—
You are where you are right now
Everything are according to life's plan"
I hope I can choose my place.
I hope I can choose the battle I can fight.
I hope that life didn't choose me for this.
I am doing my best to follow the life's plan.
Or maybe I am not

Tonight, i want to write
Not a poem
Nor a story
A diary entry?
A life update maybe
Should i jot it on a piece of paper?
Or my notes app is better?
I don't know where to start
It's been a while
But life is better lately
It is sickening mostly
But, we're getting there
One step at a time
We're going better
How about you?
How are you?