I put up with your lies
Your *******
Your abuse
Your criticism
Your stupid stories
Your hurtful words
But thank you because now
I know what not to look for

I wish I
Could
Have made
You
Happy.
As happy as
You need to
Be to be
With Me.

Im afraid of commitment
Im afraid of losing
Im afraid of losing you
Because I won't committee

I loved you
And you loved me too
But for all the wrong
**Reasons

I walked around
In whatever,
Shorts, mini skirts
I wasn't afraid of my scars
But only because
They didn't show
But when I was
Naked in front
Of you I
Felt ashamed
Because it was then
All my scars were
**Revealed

I once viewed silence
As a cruel thing
I once was scared
Of silence
Thats becuase it never
Spoke to me
Now when I sit
In my room and silence
Is all around me
It speaks
With the sound of speeding cars
Or even the sound of the breeze
It speaks to me
In ways words never could

Society says* I'm ugly
But I say I'm beautiful
Society says I'm dumb
But I say I'm intelligent
Society says I'm fat
But I say I'm the perfect size for Me
Society says I have too many flaws
But I say they make me who I am
Society kills me
But I remain alive
*Society says but I say different

To many bad days
Enormous wet stains
All because of you, let's
Restart and pretend we never
S**tarted

I fake a smile and carry on with my day
No one questions me not even a bit
No one asks me if I'm alright because
They assume my smile says it all
But when they ask I say 'I'm fine' and
Move on with my day
I'm always relieved there are no follow up questions
But there are times I wish there were
There are times I wish someone cared enough
To know the real me
Not the happy girl everyone sees
No more like **the broken girl I really am

A laugh says a lot
A smile tells a story
A frown shows emotion
A crie tells your fears
Yes they all are alike but
They are different somehow
A frown and crie show how you feel but
A smile and laugh hide your true feelings
So yes the are alike they all show something
One is just the truth and the other is a lie

This room is dark
Not a single ray of sunlight shines
But every once in a while a small light appears
The light so small yet able to make things so bright
This room is dark
But there might be a chance of happiness
Some just small enough to smile
Some just large enough to laugh
This room is dark
Full of dark happiness

Time heals
Everything but
Memories

Sometimes I hate living
Not because I hate my life
Sometimes I can't stand to live another day
Not because I rather die
Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off dead
Not because I want my life to end
Im just tired of living
Tired of being dead

All she saw was
White
She was dead

The world is full of violence
Now I don't write this for change
I write this for myself
Let's face the truth
We rather be in gangs than
Be in a study groups
We rather laugh at others than
Stand up to one another
We rather live life in fear than
Try to make a change
We rather be slaves of our government than
Fight for equality
We rather feed the ones with food than
Feed the less fortunate
We rather educate some than
Educate all
We rather take pride in our horrible nation than
Realize we're doing something wrong
We are the violence this world
Is full of

There
Is No
Such
Thing
As
Normal

I learned long ago
That we all belong somewhere.
I belong to the Hurt
To the lost
To the broken
To the depressed
To the angry
To the empty
To the hateful
To the hopeless
Who knew one day
I'd belong
To the **healed

Why cant we look at everything
As a blessing
Instead we see
How it is a curse
We look at the wrongs
Yet never the rights
A loss for us
Is a blessing for another
Why cant we be happy
Why cant we laugh at
Our failures maybe even
Laugh at our pain
Why cant we just be happy

I just feel that the only way  
I can release my pain is through writing
I write my heart out in hopes
That it will bring me closure
Maybe some answers
Like why ?
Why is life so cruel to me ?
Why is it that when I lay in bed all I want to do is cry ?
Why is that I seem to mess up everything ?
Why is that everything seems to go wrong?
**Why ? Why ? Why ?

It's amazing how something
So beautiful can be
So painful
How something
That is used to express love
Expresses hate
Maybe we should all be
Mute and Deaf
So we don't ever have to
Experience the pain words can bring

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
How true is it when words are what are keeping you awake at night
How true can it be when your constanly worried about society
Why not say the truth and admit
Words cut deeper than knives themselves
Weapons **** and words do too
Thats why will live in a world full of violence
Because the simple words we say
We listen and we let the words cut deep
So why arent insults banned when guns are
Why is it that words are what make us drink those handfuls of pills
Or tie that rope to die
A gun is just a simple weapon because words can **** too
So yes sticks and stones may break my bones but words will **** me

You're* so different to what I know
You're so different to what I like
You're so different to what Im used to
You're so different to what Im in love with
But You're different is *perfect