Numb. Is all I feel. hands, feet and heart.
all numb. broken and shredded like a dead crushed leaf. I lie against the cold concrete floor.
knocking my knuckles against the brick wall. The skin turning red like the red I see all day long. The crying has stopped long ago, as all the tears have been used and wasted. I think of my future that has already been broken.

why was my existence necessary, my lack of actuality,
as I have become; nothing, nothing, nothing
what is the purpose of my conscious, if for nothing but
my self abuse.
what use is this subjection to vile, unreasonable hate and
disappointment.
why was I created, to become a after thought, unneeded
for I cannot contemplate the reasoning behind my being.

shaking frustrations, heart aching situations,
she breaks her fingers in a brick wall confrontation
red/black/orange/purple seep from the opaque -
white knuckles, squeezing tight
she rips the papers, shreds she dreads
broken frames, abandoned - afraid,
the expectations, sit heavy - break her neck
her head hangs
fists and wrists - left -
contorted.

a young girl questioned the Oak Trees on their wisdom,
they told her she was too young to worry about the future,
they promised to share their wisdom once she had grown,
a young boy questioned the Oak Trees on their knowledge,
they told him he was too young to care about gaining knowledge,
they promised him to have knowledge once he was grown,
years later
the boy came back to question the Oak Trees on their knowledge,
the Oak Trees replied, that knowledge was useless with out the wisdom to use it.
the young girl never came back.

why do we let people in
that we know will hurt us
why do we feel things
that we don't really understand
why do we change ourselves
in order to be accepted
why is really the question,
but its never
for whom.

she never liked mirrors
they never told her good things.