oh my god
not an exclamation
A call for help
it's all I think about
trade the blood in my veins
so it can run smooth
sweet bliss to black
wake up
graveyard

it ain't the same
remember your street
how colorful it was
almost like a yellow brick road
or a gingerbread house

your friends congregating for a game of 21
americana incarnate with illegal fireworks
and soggy doritos after swimming for hours

what's really so different
everyone becomes an adult eventually
I just hate different the birds sound
They don't even sing much anymore

Colors muted and sights replaced
brutalist and architecture meant to appease shareholders

Nostalgia and cynicism are best buddies
and I here I am...
misery comes in threes

Can you recall
The ecstasy of your first kiss
The fire that burned behind your face

now I lay here with memory of your lips and how you kept your eyes closed
How I knew I loved you then

I imagine a warrior
lying crippled on a metal laden field
beckoning for one last kiss
with his woman's visage
appearing in a tear

Just cold and lifeless without his woman's fire

Get faded
drink an Arizona Mucho Mango
tell your dog you love them
find peace

do you ever stare at the computer
an endless gaze into white
That feeling of indecisiveness
How can I turn my emotions in genius
I wish that moment
Could be a poem

Those who are blood
are supposed to be the closest
a structure of peace
protection within 4 walls from chaos
yet often they are the loudest

A mother meant to caress you
under a wing of silk and love
resents you for carrying your father's face

A father meant to be hero's tale
A iron man role model of strength
crumbles beneath momentary vices

Brothers and sisters
meant to be the first line of defense
often berate and butcher
what you knew as the meaning

                          Of Family

What to do when the ones meant to love unconditionally
Appear as strangers you once saw in a dream?

I just want to write about something
                           "good"
So bitter and toxic that anything nice
just sounds fake and inhuman
I'd rather wallow
than be someone real
that's all I'll be
that's all I'll know
so ******* blind
darkness