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You are just a prop in her life, Cody.
You are there to help her work through things.

That's great; one problem.
I am not a dishrag.

I do not serve as a free form of therapy.
I am not just a service to help girls learn about themselves.

I have feelings.
I get attached.
I want reciprocation.
I want affection.

Sometimes I'm the one who needs help.
Sometimes I am not just satisfied with knowing I helped.

I am not your valet.
I am not your counselor.
I am not your validation on demand.

I cannot even fathom why you think can just take.
It's because I can't give, Cody.
If you can't give, why do you think it's ok to take?

I will not always be ok.
I won't always get over it.
I won't just understand why you can't be there for me.

I am not just a rock to be your stability.
I am not just a blanket to give you comfort.

I am not a flipping dishrag.
anger. it boils.
 Feb 2015 Miles Halter
Lahela
She promised she would stay,
But she left me alone with him.
I pleaded with my eyes,
"Don't go."

I don't know why she thought she was doing something good, but she giggled a "be good you two," with a wink.

I wanted to die in that moment.
It was almost as if I knew what was going to happen.
It was already over between he and I.
I had already established that I didn't want anything to do with him.
But he wanted to "talk" because he needed "closure" or some ****.

"Could you come in the backseat, please?"
Even though his words spilled out like syrup, I knew nothing that would come next would be close to sweet.
I did what I was told.
Stupid me. Why was I so afraid of him being mad at me?!

I closed my eyes as he pressed his wet mouth onto mine.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch him.
My clothes end up on the floor even though I fought to keep them on.
I gave up.
I lay there on my side, facing the car seat I should've stayed in.

I asked him to stop.
I asked him to put his pants back on.
I told him to stop as I scrambled for my clothes,

He shouted: "****!"
He slammed the door closed as I ran away and he punched something.

Tears ran down my face as I passed her.
"How'd it go?" She asked in a sing-song voice.
God, I wanted to hit her so hard.
I wish I told her to go **** herself.

Because she said she was gonna stay with me. I was stupid to believe her this time...
But she promised.

— The End —