I hate the world.

Not in a terroristic anti-artistic burn it all and leave it to the mystics kind of way, but in the way that it is too large.

Unpopular opinion I know.

But would someone please show me a love that can survive what our elders traveled across? From oceans to gravel and rocks, we have planes and cars and can walk but love doesn’t have a passport or a drivers licence.

Just once I wish that I could imagine that the distance between us was nothing more than a cross walk where something as simple as a button could stop time so a shut in like me could pass by while the world sleeps, and be next to you.

Someone once told me that there is love that exists that is so strong that nothing can stand in its way, and I said okay, like I believed it. Like could see that in no way could something as simple as geography stand in the way of a feeling that weighs down on you each day. I said okay as if an array of love casting satellites had been placed here by a god for us to use when we feel lost in love.

I am an idiot.

This is, the song my heart plays as the day dream of your face being in close proximity to my face holds strong.

I miss you.

It was not the way she looked,
but rather, the way she was.
And yet I found with glance,
I fell more so, into love.

She texts me and asks what I'm doing,
I tell her "Watching a movie"
She then asks "Which one",
I reply, "It's something rather gloomy"
"Tell me the plot" she says, "And than I'll take a guess"
I tell her "It's a deal" than start to describe in excess.
"It's a movie that is truly quite a fable,
A man's wife is murdered,
and his son is left disabled,
in a twisted turn of events,
his son is also kidnapped,
the father must then travel for miles,
in search of his metaphorical footsteps,
he meets a woman along the way,
who wants to help but is mentally disabled,
and has thoughts that tend to stray."
She replies so say shes at a loss,
I reply with "Finding Nemo"

Do not fear death,
for death is merely a change in states.
From the state of consciousness, to a state without.
If you are without consciousness, you will not be able to fear,
and for those who believe,
that there is a world beyond death,
than it is simply a change from consciousness,
to another type of consciousness,
and if so,
than life will not cease.

Philosophy has taught me never to think I know,
for I know nothing at all,
and this is the only thing I know for sure.
Imagine you are in a cave,
you were born here,
and have been here ever since.
you are chained to face a wall,
can not move,
but know nothing different.
On the wall there are shadows,
cast from behind you,
caused by dancing figures in front of a flame.
You can not see these figures,
but you know them by their shadows.
Beside you, is another,
another just like yourself,
born and raised to stare at the shadows,
and just like you, knows nothing different.
Now imagine one day,
you are set free from your chains,
and you are brought to a door,
behind the door is a life you never knew could exist,
the sun, the trees, the world as we know it now.
You would be astonished,
amazed that you had lived your life from this point,
never knowing it was there.
Now say you were brought back to your chains,
reunited with the other,
who has not yet seen the world for what it is.
Would you be able to explain to them,
that there is a world beyond the shadows?
For the shadows are all they know,
they have become so familiar,
that they are able to guess the figures before their arrival.
How would you explain that there is a fantastic world beyond what they see?
it's simple.
You couldn't.
And forever, they will be trapped,
not knowing that there is so much more to life.
I feel that this is the way of the world.
The cosmos, being as big as it is,
and religion, giving claims as it does.
The people have no way of seeing what else is out there.
What happens after they die.
What life is truly about.
They never even wonder.
And than, they just die.

Within her,
I lose myself,
without her,
I find myself wanting to be lost again.
I just,
can't help myself.
She's the only one that knows me.
She's my 3am thought.
She can see my real worth,
she shows me things I never knew about myself.
And the thing is,
once you see your own worth,
it's hard to be around people that don't.

We need to stop analyzing the past,
stop planning the future,
stop figuring out precisely how we feel,
stop deciding exactly what we want when we want it.
Sometimes, we just need to stop,
and see what happens.
You see, what we learn, and who we become,
in the process of waiting,
is often more important than the thing we were actually waiting for.