I woke up this morning
To smiley faces rolling
Up and down the street
Chasing after me

My bad disposition
Has them at my heals licking
Trying to give me
Much more than happy feet

I bring an umbrella
As they're also in the weather
Smiling down on me
Coming down in sheets

They say if you can't beat em
It's best if you join in
So I stopped after awhile
Stood real still with great big smile

That's when my attitude
Right then and there improved
For granted I'd been taking
All these smiley faces

Now I wake each morning
Join the smiley faces rolling
Up and down the street
Hoping you will smile with me

Trudy the Trout
Having been spawned one sunny day
Sparkles rainbow colors
As she frolics in the lake

Spends time in school with friends
Learning to survive
What parts are safe to nibble
When the man throws out his fishing line

When Trudy's not in school
How that sweet fishy loves to play
Swimming among the hidden treasures
At the bottom of the lake

One day she swam up to the top
Curious to have a look
Grabbed by a hawk with her last thought of
This here can't be good

Let's keep Christ in Christmas
Say the stickers and the signs
When was the day we lost our way
And can we find it back in time

Perhaps if we focused less on us
And more on the risen King
He'd not only be in Christmas
But also everything

I'm not saying that old St. Nicholas
Does not serve out a purpose
But when it comes to saving souls
I'm pretty sure he's worthless

So let's keep Christ throughout the year
Not only in this season
Making it to those around us clear
He truly is the reason

One night while out in London
I chanced upon the Queen
In a karaoke bar in Smithfield
Singing along to the Kinks

She had the crowd all in a tizzy
With her rendition of the sunset at Waterloo
The more she sang, the more people came
Till there was barely standing room

She didn't do just one or two tunes
But their entire catalog
The Queen is quite the entertainer
As she had us all singing along

She was there to give the people what they want
As she took us around the dial
We were all starstruck to say the least
As she sang all day and all of the night

Word is she's a regular here every Tuesday
So stop by and have a cuppa tea
And watch the Queen get down with that UK jive
As she sings karaoke to the Kinks

Muddy shoes beside her bed
Thoughts of you inside her head
Sheets that smell of gasoline
Been a long night for the beauty queen

Light flickers from a distant fire
Ask for the truth, she'll be the liar
The sight of you it turned her mean
Kiss and tell on the mezzanine

She's not one to reckon with
That was your last forever lasting kiss
Chair propped up against the **** of the bedroom door
Guess that oughta even up the score

Muddy shoes beside her bed
Thoughts of you inside her head
Sheets that smell of gasoline
Been a long night for the beauty queen...

After a long hard day on the job
Feeling down trodden and beat
All that it is that I can think of
Is getting off my dog tired feet

But first a little pleasure stop
Down at the local market place
So while I'm sitting on my derriere
I'll have something to stuff my face

Of course you know the conclusion
My taste buds they always come to
The perfect of all combinations
One on which you never can lose

I'm talking peanut butter and chocolate
The true fantasy of men
I prefer mine in little droplets
Better known as peanut butter m&m;'s

I fell straight into a chocoholic mode
Ripping the bag open as contents explode
No turning back as I mindlessly grab
Giggling like a crazed Dennis Rodman in drag

Then it slapped me right smack in the face
Something not right going on in this place
As I gazed upon what looked like to me
A regular m&m; in my bag of ecstasy

I couldn't believe what sat before my eyes
Have I been fed a bunch of white chocolate lies
My mouth hangs open truly amazed
With milk chocolate drool all over my face

I rufuse to let this travesty go unresolved
With my stationary shaped like butterfly wings
I shoot off a letter to the corporate boss
Telling of the trauma he has caused me

I want answers and I want  them right now
Asking nothing less than the mysteries of life
How could anyone be so careless
As to let a regular m&m; slide by

Said they need people like me with keen eyes
Offered me work in their quality control booth
Now after months and months on the job
Even the thought of chocolate makes me want to puke

There's soon to come a day where this
And all else cease to exist
Where every line and stich in time
Will make its way into the light

All the saints that have been called
From daily battles they have fought
To rightly claim their reward
Eternity with their Sweet Lord

Without its sting, death lost its curse
Where first is last and last is first
Every plan once made by man
Will reach its final bitter end

Every tear that ever wept
All dried eyed in a flash
A promise made a promise kept
On the day the Lord comes back

And on that day, all this you see
Including sin, will cease to be
When every line and stich in time
Makes its way into the glorious light

You didn't choose me, I didn't choose you
I'm now thinking that's for the best
It was God above that chose the both of us
And I'm so glad that he did

That God had a hand in this whole affair
From the very foundation of time
With no guess arranging the past of those who met
So one day your hand would find mine

Because in everything there is a purpose
As it all fits inside God's ultimate plan
He has crossed all the T's dotted all the I's with ease
There is nothing that is done by chance

Every encounter a divine intervention
With God steering at the helm
Yes, it was God that chose the both of us
Too blessed to have been anyone else...

i took some time to think
and what it is i thunk
double time inside my mind
is i don't think enough

whether on this side of smooth
or the other side of rough
is mostly what i thought it was
when it was i thunk

when i'm on the brink of think
my mind in overdrive
thinking what i thunk i thought
is what i thought this time

mercy sakes alive
goodness gracious please
now that i've thunk all of this out
why do i even think

I went and placed a wanted ad
Inside my local discount rag
Hoping someone somewhere might have
Some new words they could send my way

I've started feeling slightly bummed
Using the same old worn out ones
To me they are no longer fun
Plus I need something new to say

The ad went something like this
Needed...New Words With New Ideas
Dial 955-3636
For where to drop off your resume

The words they started pouring in
From short to fat to long to thin
With no idea where to begin
I'll try my hand at come what may

With the new words I did not mince
I poured over them all with diligence
No matter past or present tense
It took up most of the day

With the new words all now lined up
I'm ready to try some different stuff
So hold on tight this may get rough
Never said it'd be a piece of cake

It'll still take effort and some work
To find the right rhyme and perfect verse
That fit the newly acquired words
To help along the way with what I now have to say

After dining at the finest of Maw and Paw restaurants
Frequented by men in trucks
Outside I slipped on the gravel drive
And as would be my luck

The LARGE cowboy belt I'm so proud of
Latched on and then got stuck
Now I'm off to see America
From the front grill of a Big Mac Truck

From the plains of Plano, Texas
To the hills of Hoboken Plantation, Tennessee
There's not to many places
That Big Mac Truck did not take me

To other motorists I was Mr. Friendly
With my arms flapping in the wind
They all would honk and wave and smile
As I smiled back with my bug filled grin

For weeks and weeks we went from coast to coast
Hollywood, California is where I made my mark
Someone happened to take my picture
Which made me an instant star

So I hooked my buckle to the front of a limo
As crowds started to recognize me
A Big Mac Truck would no longer do
When your a Big Time Celebrity

I was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
He interviewed me from a parking lot
The limo would not fit on the couch
Plus I can't get the buckle to unlock

Now when my limo pulls up to crosswalks
Pedestrians ask for my autograph
Before the light turns green and me and the bumper we  leave
I tell a few jokes and we share a few laughs

As life's fortunes would have it
I can't believe my luck
The day I tripped on that gravel drive
And fell into the grill of that Big Mac Truck

Lord, here I am
Unfit to tie your shoes
Still on my behalf you move
When I'm not sure of what to do

You comfort me
You comfort me

Lord, here I am
The blind man at the gate
Not able to see the way
You hold my hand and gently say

You'll comfort me
You'll comfort me

Lord, here I am again
The woman at the well
My sins explain themselves
They are mine and no one else

Comfort me
Comfort me

Lord, here I am
The man beside the pool
Needing healing too
Help me find healing in you

As you comfort me
Comfort me

Lord, here I am
The thief that's on the cross
With the right words I am at loss
As my sins you pay the cost

Which comforts me
Yes, you comfort me

What would it be like
If towards the end of our lives
They showed a movie
Of our life and times

What would it be about
Would it draw a big crowd
What would the rating be
And would kids be allowed

Would they laugh or cry
Gladly pay the full price
When the scary parts played
Would they cover their eyes

Would we be ashamed
If our families came
At the end of the film
Would they see us the same

Would it be action packed
A Super Hero unmasked
If nobody else
Would our kids be impressed

Would they be happy or sad
When the credits rolled past
Would the movie explain
We did our very best

What would they find
If towards the end of our lives
They showed a movie
Of our life and times

We tried something different this year
A Thanksgiving day buffet
I really like the leftovers though
So I lined my pockets with cellophane

To justify my actions
As I stood in line
With the twenty bucks I was paying  
Would a little take out be such a crime

Being a master of illusion
I pointed and said is that Santa Claus
While everyone was looking
I filled my back pockets with cranberry sauce

Things were running rather smoothly
As we moved along
I was stuffing everything from giblets to gravy down my drawers
As if there was nothing wrong

With tomorrows lunch now in my pockets
I went back to the table to dine
Forgetting the cranberry sauce in my rear as I sat
I squirted the lady behind me in the eye

Her husband jumped quickly into action
He was a mountain of a man
We'll just call him Everest
I didn't have time to catch his name

He picked me up and started shaking
That's when my stuffing's came flying out
Tomorrows meal went everywhere
Splattering the entire dining crowed

There was quite a ruckus
As we chased around the restaurant
It's going to be hard to get my leftovers back
Now that I've lost my air of nonchalant

As we were knocking over tables
I got the idea to grab peoples plates
Not wanting to be a spoiler of the holidays
Out the door I hollered back...

Have A Happy Thanksgiving Day!

i want you to know, the poem you wrote
it really touched my heart
did you have an idea when you wrote it
that it would be the spark
to lighten up the inner flame
that would brighten up my dark
a poem that touched my very soul
and left on it, it's mark

did you know the words you chose
brought me to my knees
and that those very words you chose
were at that moment what i needed
they caused the clouds to separate
and the sun to shine on me
the words you chose
swung wide open the closed
door in front of me

i just wanted you to know
about the poem you wrote

I met her Sunday in the park
Between our hearts there was a spark
We'll have to wait and see
If we are each others need

Monday rolled around and then
A bit of luck we met again
I laid on the manly charm
Her hands were soft and warm

Tuesday came and Tuesday passed
Her number I forgot to ask
What a fool I was
Did I just lose true love

Wednesday she somehow found me
Standing below my balcony
I looked down into her eyes
A very pleasant surprise

Thursday it was burning love
A girl like her more than enough
For a man like me
She's all that I can see

Friday a day like I've never known
With cloud nine far down below
I am flying high
The best day of my life

Saturday all I could see
The whole of the week was but a dream
I woke up Sunday in the park
The afternoon sky was cloudy and dark

I see that you started following me
Did you click the gold star on a whim
Are you now sitting back, trying to relax
Waiting for it all to begin

Did you come here looking for answers
Or simply to be entertained
Should I now bring in the flamingo dancers
Arriving daily on the boogie train

Are you here to share in some laughs
Or looking for a shoulder to cry
Maybe you felt a pull to follow this fool
And you have no idea of why

Did you read the fine print..."If you follow me"
To closely it might drive you insane
I have dozens of  lawyers waiting in the wings
That can expertly shift all the blame

So whether I hang out with the head of Johnny Depp+
Or start belly button lint dust fires+
Even digging up the body of Elvis +
All would be true if it wasn't a lie

Just remember that whatever happens
When I open the door to my soul
And give a slight peak, inside to see
It's not like you haven't been warned

Have you ever stopped long enough to think about fingers
The five on the left as well as the five on the right
The purpose they serve in serving us as well as serving others
And truly how much they help us out in our daily lives

I use mine in the morning to hide the first of many yawns
They're ready to snap into action at the sound of my command
If you use your fingers properly then you will not go wrong
Now that I think about it, without fingers where would be the hand

I count on my fingers to help with so many things
I also use those same fingers to count the things I have
Of course I don't have enough fingers to count the things I think I need
In fact I think that many fingers might look a Tad to Rad

Without fingers we couldn't point and say things like...Looky There!
Or show our displeasure at other motorist, though I would never dare
And where would we place our wedding ring to show our love we care
How about taking tea with royalty with our pinky's in the air

So you see fingers do serve a purpose now that I've delved deeply into it
And we do have ten in case we lose a few in accidents unforeseen*
But if I ever lost the one with which I pick my nose
*Take your finger, pull the trigger...and put me out of my misery

That's it, I'm through with the Old Me
Don't even want to go back to visit
Right here, right now I'm setting that old life free
I'm not even going to miss it

The Old Me always dragged me down
The Old Me just wouldn't listen
Not to a single word that I said
Old Me had a bad disposition

The New Me now looks at life
Through the prism of rose colored glasses
All of it's stresses and strife
To the New Me are only life's lessons

They teach the New Me what it is
To have true compassion in caring
The New Me has been more than blessed
The New Me's blessings I'm now sharing

The freedom that I now have
Looks to the new days horizons
The New Me says yes I can
To all of life's sudden surprises

Want you join the New Me in
All the joy this new life has to offer
Right here, right now is where you begin
Say goodbye to your Old Me forever

I'm looking for a Christmas miracle
This year like no other
That we will see each and every need
And reach out to one another

That every woman and man throughout the land
Will set aside their differences
And shut their mouths long enough to find out
More is learned from the art of listening

That we hold out our hands to whomever we can
No matter race, creed, or color
Hoping to find the value in life
All of us being sisters and brothers

May we open our eyes and ears to the cries
Of the ones that truly need us
Learn it's best to give than take what others have
A righteous step in the direction of freedom

This year I'm looking for a Christmas miracle
One that will last us a lifetime
Where we see the real reason for this joyous season
Gods love through his son poured out over mankind

My mother thinks I'm a doctor
I just don't have the guts
To tell her I spent all my college doe
On beer, wine, women and such

So after I faked my graduation
Said I was moving to the South
To help the less fortunate among us
Another lie I let slip out

I'm now in the south of Florida
Where some may call me a ***
Living in a citrus grove along the coast
Not answering to anyone

It's really not such a bad life
This do nothing life I've made
I hear Moms proud of me at afternoon tea
Telling the girls of all the lives I save

I do my share of dumpster diving
That's where I got the idea
Behind a real doctors office one day
With some of their stationary I nabbed

I did a little doctoring
After all I do play one in Moms mind
Doesn't look too lame where I inserted my name
Then wrote my Mom about the kids and the wife

I've created such an elaborate charade
It's now gotten all out of hand
As I panhandle my way up and down
The Sunshine states surf and sand

Mom now says she wants to visit
Can't wait to meet the wife and kids
Don't know how I let it get this crazy
And how it all lead up to this

Now I'm scrambling to find a vacant house and a woman
With a couple of kids that look just like me
That can go along with a ruse for a week in mid-June
Since I told her that's when  I'd be free

I'm thinking I should of studied in college
Instead of being this mind numbing huckster
Telling lie after deepening lie
Just so my Mother would think I'm a doctor

i've got a humming bird heart
that flutters back and forth
whenever it's startled by
loves slightest noise

fancy's itself
as being free
but is always drawn back
to it's basic needs

this humming bird heart
flutters back and forth
always in search of
what it does not know

if it does not know
what it does not have
then how long can this
humming bird heart last

i've got a humming bird heart
that fly's on the wind
most times settles on nothing
then fly's off again

this humming bird heart
all it want's is to feed
from one point to another
and all points in between

taking for granted
the sweetness it craves
this humming bird heart
gives so much away

If God let nature pick out its colors
I'm sure the sky would still choose blue
And the deepest depths of the ocean
Would want to stay that color too

If the mountains took to long to decide
Their peaks would turn a snowy white
And the stars in all of their glory
Would still relish the black of the night

The green, green grass of the valleys
Would not want it any other way
Just like the yellow of the morning sun
On any given day

And the leaves on the trees in the cool fall breeze
Would be any color that they like
At any given moment in time
Is when they would decide

If God let nature choose its own colors
I'm sure they would all stay the same
Because God knew what he was doing
When he created it on that special day

My mother thinks I'm a doctor
I just don't have the guts
To tell her I spent all my college doe
On beer, wine, women and such

So after I faked my graduation
Said I was moving to the South
To help the less fortunate among us
Another lie I let slip out

I'm now in the south of Florida
Where some may call me a ***
Living in a citrus grove along the coast
Not answering to anyone

It's really not such a bad life
This do nothing life I've made
I hear my Moms proud of me at afternoon tea
Telling the girls of all the lives I save

I do my share of dumpster diving
That's where I got the idea
Behind a real doctors office one day
With some of their stationary I nabbed

I did a little doctoring
After all I do play one in Moms mind
Doesn't look to lame where I inserted my name
Then wrote my Mom about the kids and the wife

I've created such an elaborate charade
It's now gotten all out of hand
As I panhandle my way up and down
The Sunshine states surf and sand

Mom now says she wants to visit
Can't wait to meet the wife and kids
Don't know how I let it get this crazy
And how it all lead up to this

Now I'm scrambling to find a vacant house and a woman
With a couple of kids that look just like me
That can go along with a ruse for a week in mid-June
Since I told her that's when  I'd be free

I'm thinking I should of studied in college
Instead of being this mind numbing huckster
Telling lie after deepening lie
Just so my Mother would think I'm a doctor

You may find this hard to believe
But I just saw a monkey
Drive by me doing eighty
In a Maserati

Eating rainbow ice cream
In a cone from Dairy Queen
I don't mean to sound mean
But should a monkey be eating ice cream

Just then I saw a cat
Right before he went splat
Jaywalking will often do that
And that my friend is straight up fact

The monkey swerved to avoid him
That's when he lost control and
Into a brick wall he slammed
As the ice cream went a flying

Since a cat has nine lives
He came to quite surprised
As Keith Richards does most nights
The ice cream landed just right

The monkey's now in heaven
The cat is ice cream licking
The Maserati is a has been
So I guess this must be the end

She graciously rolls up her sleeve
For another mainline of hype
America's a ******
You can see it in her eyes

She must really crave it
She keeps coming back for more
America's a ******
Her dealer is media the *****

They feed off each other
No way to pass the blame
On the streets of long lost innocence
On a night of goodbye shame

America's in the ally
The needle dangling from her arm
While media hits the corner
Waving down the passing cars

Are we to late for intervention
Are we to late to find a cure
For America the ******
And her dealer media the *****

i am the architect
of the thoughts within my head
building what i think
out of selfish need

dizzy are the heights
crooked the plum line
the plans that i have laid
mistakes that have been made

i have built it up
more centered on self than not
just to tear it down
times too numerous to count

a foundation built on sand
the random thoughts of man
finding the seams are cracked
in the strength i thought i had

for i am the architect
of all i've done and said
taking to the brink
all i've built out of selfish need

She is just an arsonist
Setting hearts on fire
Strike a match to her latest catch
Ash deep in desire

She is just an arsonist
Fanning hot the flames
Adding twigs in the shape of men
Burning each of them

She is just an arsonist
Destruction in her wake
Trial by fire burns hotter
If you're caught up in her blaze

Toss My life out the car window
See it tumble in the breeze
Watch its progress in the rearview
As it scrapes its tinder knees

Stop by the park of  "Somethings Missing"
Pull up to the lake of  "Past Regrets"
Roll the window down to listen
To the sound of nothing left

Feel the need to change the station
On my worldly radio
No need for further explanation
As top 40 rambles on

Toss my life out the car window
See it tumble in the breeze
Watch its progress in the review
As it scrapes its tinder knees

The sheep in the nearby pasture
Heard what the cows had done
In the building of their rocket ship
And they too wanted one

A few of them shaved for pocket change
Black market wool brings a hefty price
While some went out to Las Vegas
To try their luck at the roll of the dice

First thing they did with the money
Was to spring for Sherman's release
The only one in the family to go to Harvard
Though it was for experiments on his mind which apparently they fleeced

Right away they noticed something odd about Sherman
Something that just wasn't quite right
But passed it off as genius quirkiness
And let that idea slide by

They told Sherman what it was they wanted
Said he had a mad...um...master plan
All the sheep turned and Baaa'd together
What was that, that he just said?

For weeks all they heard was banging and clanging
From inside their farmers shed
The only activity they saw outside
The massive delivery of Dominos crazy bread

One day the shed doors flew wide open
There stood Sherman as mad as acid rain
No doubt among the sheep in the pasture
He was Bonkers, Loony, Loopy...okay Sherman's insane

As he drug his creation into the open
Not a one in the crowd uttered a word
Till little Bobby Black Sheep spoke up and said
Is that a cows udder?...is that what they think that they just herd?!

Sherman took that moment of bewilderment
To swing onto udder #4
Strapping himself inside of his contraption
And shooting off for the stars

Sherman is still up there circling the planet
Did you hear about the phenomenon in Spain?
Just the other day something amazing there happened
There was the pouring of milk instead of rain...

But we know how that miracle happened
And that it came from the udders galore
Cause when your traveling through space like Sherman
What else would udders be for

andy comes in campbell cans
tomato soup black, white, and red
squeezed out pop until it bled
art is all in andy's head

andy do you dare to dream
pinks and yellows, blues and greens
the day you popped onto the scene
do you know just what i mean

marilyn's golden in her day
elvis skates in figure eight's
64 the riot race
moon museum from outer space

andy smokes the cigarettes
andy crosses his long legs
yellow hair on top his head
is your 15 minutes up my friend

andy's made it all so clear
andy drew so we could hear
it has been too many years
andy can you paint my tears

I'm trying my best
To grasp at the fact
Of how long is eternity

To help in my quest
Stay on the right track
Before I take my leave

It's not only for me
That I need to believe
But also those in whom I care

Though we have passed
We never have met
You still are in my prayers

And the prayer that I pray
Is today is the day
That salvation comes to your house

Yes not only you
But your family too
All and more that is allowed

Yet you must do your part
Which is open your heart
Then my friend you will see

The truth the whole truth
As Christ welcomes you
To share in His riches for eternity

But there's the other side
If without Him you die
There is eternal separation

You won't be with the King
Or somewhere in between
But burning in the fire of damnation

There is no worse lot
That I can think of
Hell's fire isn't half as scary

Than when God's had enough
And takes away His love
All else is secondary

And that's why I pray
For lost souls everyday
Since my heart has been open to see

That the rest of your life
Is a very long time
So choose wisely where you spend eternity

I hold right here in my grimy little hands

The tiniest of vials

A magic elixir to cure all your ills

Guaranteed to bring you a smile

It has the finest of all ingredients

Ever concocted poured into it

From Himalayan Buddhist Monks finger nail dust

To pure Indian cobra snake spit

It'll clean you out of whatever ails you

It'll make you want to join the circus so you can eat fire

It'll burn the hair out of your ears and put them on your chest

Then want to pull them out with industrial pliers

It'll cause the old to do somersaults

And toddlers to sing gospel hymns

This magic elixir I now hold in my hands

So step right up my gullible friends

......And Let The Biding Begin

Tis the season once again
For me to cast my vote
This year I'm going Bananas
Instead of Artichoke

When it comes to Apples & Oranges
They're pretty much the same
As I close the curtain on the booth
And just start punching names

Asparagus is tops on my list
Much more than Brussels Sprouts
What Veggie will lead the charge
We'll have to wait to find that out

So let's freshen up the voting block
And somewhere in between
As we vote raw our favorite vegetable
The rest of them we'll steam

If wrong was right
Then I'd be right
Mostly every time

If do or die
Was the way to live
Then I'd be doing fine

If problems would
All disappear
Blink and they go missing

If answers came
In sheets of gold
I could not afford to listen

If what I said
And what I did
Were one and the same

Who am I
Trying to kid
It'll never go down that way

Because right is right
And wrong is wrong
Proudly on display

So get a clue
Not as I do
And certainly not as I say

I just received a letter of warning
From the people of PETA no doubt
Informing me they've seen my new picture
I think the chicken must have ratted me out

Well you can rest cause I can assure you
In the picture no poultry was harmed
And the chicken also was taken
From a free range organic natural farm

The letter held all the usual jargon
About lawyers and lawsuits and such
It's not like the chicken was wasted
After filming I had her over for lunch

So let me tell all you people at PETA
Don't get your ******* all up in a ***
Right after my head she laid, I supplied the Preparation H
Then carried her gently to the chopping block

I jog daily through the Broken City
Past the projects and abandoned shopping malls
One thing you can say about the broken city
It plays no favors, it takes every soul

Through the middle runs the ***** river
Filled with smells of late night memories
It's waves slap the shore like it's saying something
Echoing the heartbeat of the city's broken dreams

No use in tuning into the nightly news
It's an endless loop of daily tragedies
With the mothers crying for their babies
And babies daddy's never on the scene

So I continue to run
In hopes it clears my head
From the mess that I see
Of what all is left

As I jog through the Broken City
Past the projects and abandoned shopping malls
One thing you can say about the broken city
It plays no favors, it takes every soul...

Not sure when all of this started
Maybe the day sanity departed
But now I find that I like to chew
On anything the color of blue

The transition was rather simple
Erasures from colored pencils
Of course you know the color I choose
Do I need to keep reminding you

And who in their right mind would not pack lunch
Without the world of Crayola in a colorful box
They even give the crayons fancy names
Although all the shades of blue taste the same

And for a chew with a bite without the bark
I always do blue from the Play-Doh jar
To be fair other colors I've tried
But haven't I told you it's the blue that I like

Don't dare get me wrong there is normal I find
Why I'm a softy for good a blueberry pie

Then there's blue Pixie sticks
And blue Kool-Aid mix
Blue frozen pops
Blue chewy gum drops
Blue Gatorade
Blue frosted cupcakes
Who ever knew
There was so much color blue

And I know what you think
Call it a hunch
But the Permanent Marker
I needed only try once

Like I said
I'm not sure when all of this started
Maybe the day sanity departed...

I found myself in a record shop
Which got me all to wondering
How these bands all got their names
And wouldn't it be summon

If I went through all the racks
And pulled them randomly
What it is that I would find
To solve this mystery

When this idea hit me
I was standing before the M's
So based upon that simple fact
Is where this journey begins

Mega Death-You must be kidding!
Are theses guys for real?
How big a death do you have to die
Before your still road ****

I decided to jump around
To get the full effect
Can not help but wonder
At what will pop up next

Oh, lookie here...**** Hole Suffers
I bet their momma's proud
When those guys hang ten
Are they surfing in or surfing out

I came across Badfinger
In an old 70's record bin
I'm telling you the honest truth
I don't care to know where that fingers been

Over yonder a band called The, The
The, The...What?!
Then there's Chumbawamba
Chumbawamba...Whoba?!
This may all sound a bit far fetched
But it's the honest to goodness truthba!

The H's are holding Hoobastank
The closest I can figure
Is that the guys in this band
Hang out with Badfinger

Albino Toilet Boys
Cottage Cheese From The Lips Of Death
My Dog Has Hitlers Brains
Norman Bates And The Shower Heads

Poultry In Motion
Brady Bunch Lawn Mower Massacre
Roid Rodgers And The Whirling **** Cherries
Are today's record shop de jour

As I'm leaving out the door
Arms piled high with newly purchased song
I grab the last copy of Yoko ****
For soothing dinner music later on

You know what they always say
About the perfect family
But lock the door behind you
And throw away the key
Things ain't always perfect
Nor quite the way they seem
Need I here remind you
Of the perfect family

the secret closets
their rooms hold
brittle broken
bones of old
skeletons hide
with haunted eyes
their voices sound
of children's cries
the day is dark
the day is done
the hurt inside
blocks out the sun
this is all
they know of love
feel the weight
of its heavy crush

With a need to bury deep
The ugly that's been found
Under decaying leaves
In the cold damp ground
Until it is the screams
No longer make a sound
Things aren't always what they seem
When no one is around

What can you say
About kids these days
'Cept they ain't got no respect

Walking around
Like a bunch of clowns
Hey punks pull up your pants

I don't really care
To see your underwear
Or any skid marks running up the back

Put on a belt
And if nothing else
It'll hold in all that lazy fat

And what you call music
I'm going to lose it
If I hear any more of that crap

Back in the day
We had people who sang
That didn't sound like a half strangled cat

And the way you cover your skin
With ink from the pen
In what you think are cool tattoos

I wonder what they'll look like
Later in life
When all that skin is hanging loose

All those piercings you've got hanging
Some even ****** dangling
Pretty much match the hole in your head

If you took them out kiddie
I bet the wind through you would whistle Dixie
That's pretty much it "Nuff Said"

You say you're having problems
With both family and friends
Let's see if we can boil this down
Now where do we begin

No sense in pussyfooting
If we're to get right to the truth
By my calculations
The common denominator is you

If it's you that is the problem
Then the solution is the same
So let's start working in that noggin
And come up with a plan

Perhaps a whole new attitude
A softening of heart
A loosening of the chains of blame
Would be the place to start

If you feel they're out to get you
Before you draw weapons to defend
Search first for the problem
Because it might come from within

Gravity
Holds me down
Keeps my feet
On solid ground
Grabs me tight
Both night and day
So I don't fly
Too far away

Gravity
And me hand in hand
Keeps the beat
In this hold down dance
Spinning through
The atmosphere
Gravity
Is what keeps me here

You don't need to sneeze rubies and diamonds
You don't need to cough out pearls
Nor have the golden touch of King Midas
To be able to spin my world

No need to vacation in China
To let a few tigers loose
Or fly in on a magic bus
For me to notice you

You don't need to be the president
Or some international spy
On me all your money need not be spent
For me to want you in my life

You don't have to hold onto your breath
And turn the deepest shade of blue
Or at my dumb jokes laugh and laugh
For me to want to love you

For the common cold you don't need to find the cure
Or the perfect mouse trap
You don't need to bring peace to this world
For me to need to hold your hand

All you need to be is yourself
And to that self hold true
Because all I need above all else
Is to be madly in love with you