I've been rightly doing taxidermy
More years than I care to count
Is it any wonder that I got bored
Stuffing Raccoon, Deer, and Antelope by the pound

So I went and changed around my tactics
And believe me things have been going swell
Since it's no longer only animals that I stuff
But people just as well

I went and opened up a funeral parlor
So the two I've now combined
Where I offer up the best of both
For one low extraordinary price

People are dying to get my services (Pardon the Pun)
From many miles around
They love the idea of being stuffed
Before they're plopped into the ground

Why some are even being stuffed
With their best friend sewed forever in their arms
To spend eternity with Buffy the Poodle
To me, holds at bit of charm

What ever position you want planted in
I am more than willing to please
Moon your friends a lasting goodbye
Is the special of the week

For those not sure where they're going
I'm an expert in stuffing the face
With a look of total surprise and confusion
In case they end up in the wrong place

How you wish to give your final farewells
We're not here to question why
But only to offer the One, Two, or Five Finger Special
In how you'd like to wave goodbye

So hurry and make those reservations
At Billy Bobs Taxidermy & Mortuarium
Cause we're stuffing it hard and heavy these days
Where it is we got it all going on