i had a dream last night and u died
i dont rememeber it very well
real life translated to my inner world
music was bumping and my favorite band was playing
a rush provoking scene i still hope will become real

it **** me back to the rocks
a replay of my favorite scene of us all
but this time we hid from the stage
we were led away from the show like fate

ive told myself this day had to come for peace of mind
my words that bounced in my head for so long
unhinged but abided

but now bombed u
booming like the music we heard before
rehearsed and chewed

premeditated

faint of thought my throat spit truth
we release from the rock scene
my heart bumping instead of the lyrics

now in the distance
i throw words at u
but u dont seem surprised
did u know all this time?

then punches
this burden i carried that i thought protected me only protected u
where now u look like cherry pie

no fork no spoon
speared across ur face
and ur neck tattoed
my hands forever printed on u

blueberry is my pie-
bruised and blue

my words didnt phase u

enginating something within me, a release
i takeoff-

im in my blue rocket
destination: homicide
it had to be 3 seconds i flyed
it felt like eternity

the rocket bursts and pieces fly
course breaths consumed the still air
this battle of burden
i thought it was finally over, atleast then it was

did u think i couldnt finish the job?

as u stab each broken piece into urself
u became more broken, disjointed
cliche cherry pie-choosing urself and im stuck with the consequences

i killed u to the naked eye
framing me
blaming me

relief when i wake, thankful for the experience of uncommon honestly inside
a sign that this chapter of thought has been closed

pages left behind and new beginnings to unfold
reflecting on this imagined world-
im left wondering who did i give peace to, me or u?

ur mind is set free and now mine?
racing, running-
infinitely in dreamworld

This is the end, beautiful friends
Meet me at the end
Of the prettiest memory lane
There is where i pretend
To not bid you all farewell.
Since the day your souls
Have forsakened me on my own,
Our times have flown
Like moths when the light is gone
But know, i loved you all
Even when i am awake at dawn
Thinking about what is it that i did wrong
Inside of me a river flows
A river made of tears and i drown
Until i wake myself and get down
Down on my knees, i crawl
Through your sludges of sorrow
I hate
I hate
I hate what you do to me
I hate that none of you know
But i’ll still bid farewell to you all
This is the end, my beautiful friends
Meet me at the end
Of the prettiest memory lane
Where there is nothing to save
And there is no more to say
Except i loved you
There is where it ends

It didn't matter if it was
August, and the air felt like an
oven on broil, or if it was
February, and the dumpsters
were icecicles to the soul.
We needed *****, and since we
didn't have jobs, the cans, at
5 cents a piece were our
aluminum tickets to sweet relief.
The magic click.
Enough cans meant a bottle of
whiskey
*****
gin,
anything to dull the
sharp, vivid pain of life.

We sifted through
cat ****
catsup
***** diapers
discarded ***** mags,
and all the other
garbage from the
rich and the poor.

One winter morning,
I threw back a heavy metal lid,
and there was a fat
raccoon looking up at me.
If Bacchus or Dionysus were
smiling, we found a
full bottle.
It happened once in
a while during summer when
the college kids headed home.

Miles of walking,
freezing or burning up,
We were the aluminum
cowboys.