i hate you.
i hate that i care more deeply than you,
and miss more thoroughly.
i hate that you have substances.
i hate that substances make you tolerate a life without me.
i hate being away from you.
i hate that you don't even notice the time that passes when you're away.
i hate loving you,
Because i know it isn't the same for you.
i hate you.

I am raw, plucked
bare and overexposed;
ashamed of my emotions and
too vulnerable, too fragile
I am not threatened but I do not
feel safe, I ache to hide but where can
I hide from my own mind? I need
time to decay my histrionics and my
need for affection so that it never
resurfaces again, so that I never
resurface again -- I am drowned in
something benign but chaotic, replicating
it's mutation endlessly, perpetually, until
I cannot breathe because I am overexposed --
bare and
plucked raw.

Like the wind in early spring,
she caressed my soul with her tears.
Kissed away my fears.
Welcomed me into a unknown world
With her heart tucked under my covers.
I opened my eyes and fell in love at first sight.
She was like the wind in early spring and
I was the flower sprouting beneath her feet.
She wore a scent of happiness that made me
Smile at first glance.
I knew this woman would be the light
In my darkness forever
I couldn't place her in my heart
Because hearts change
I couldn't live without her
So she became my breath
'Cause she's the warmest
Thing I'll ever find"

my soul is
wandering
and i am
wondering
if it is
wandering
in search of you or
wondering
about the idea of you