Sometimes
my only          comfort
is a mind

emptied






of it's thoughts.

Would you believe me
if I said that you're my Eternity?

He looks at you as if
you were an art piece.
Beautiful,
appreciated,
unique.
I wish you could see yourself
like that too.

In the battle between me
and my self-hatred
you're my swallow.

You know you're falling when you look at them
and think "I'm finally home."

For the first time in a while,
I was able to look at myself
and think, I love you.

You're the kind of person I
want to lay on the grass with.
See shapes in the clouds and
feel the gentle breeze with.

You're the kind of person I want
to go on late night drives with.
Have the windows down and
listen to blaring music with.

Doing whatever, whenever.
Always and forever.

I have traveled far and wide,
and yet I still don't feel
Like
        I
          Belong.

The evening wind blew my way as I walked the streets of yesterday.
Tomorrow is will be different thats whay we say.
But hardly ever will we be okay.
People walk on thin lines blinding themselfs to not see the signs.
They give up before they start then let faliure tear them apart.
They say things that they dont mean then ignore it on routine.
They cry and say i'm fine agree to something then decline.

Why are we like this?
Why do we disagree
Why do we ignore
things we can forsee?
Things we can stop
we let them slide.
They'll never learn
they've never tried.
Just stop it now just please
for these words go with the breeze.

I think I hold people
a little too close to
my heart.

They can see every
crack and know
exactly what it would
take to beak it.

People just don't understand that
when you read our stories,
you're reading a part of us that was
brave enough to escape our hearts.

When I think of you, I see a future
You're my forever.

Children...
The
      F
      O
     U
      N
     D
    A
      T
     I
       O
      N

Of our society.
Yet they are afraid.
Afraid to speak up, as the don't know their rights.
Afraid to live, being exposed to terrible sights.
Afraid but should not be, because they should be cared for.
Afraid but are important, as they are society's core.

Scarlet sun dancing on the horizon,
Amber leaves fluttering to the ground,
Golden rays shining through windows,
Lime carpets of grass, wet with morning dew,
Aqua skies hovering ever so high,
Violet flowers waving in the wind.

You said I was pretty
You said I was smart
You said I was important
That you'd love me with all your heart.

But now that your gone
I think you were wrong.

Because you've already said those things
to HER too.

Rain
falling ever so softly
                            against my foggy window.
I lay in my room illuminated by the moon
                                                    The beats
D
  R
     I
        P DRIP DR
                           IP, are my only source of comfort.

I’m scared to delete our pictures and box up our memories. I feel like if I erase you, I’ll erase a part of me too.

They say that sometimes
holding on hurts more
than letting go.

I let you go
in hopes of my heart
becoming as okay
as yours when I'm
not with you.

It feels like my
shoulders are lighter
my smile is brighter
and I'm finally whole
again.

I have watched the news and every time, only one thing that's in their mind.
Hate
Let's have it repeated.  
H
    A
        T
           E
It will not be defeated.
Not by protests, not by fights. But understanding that we all have rights.
Do not stand before a country that disrespects you. Do not hate on people who feel that way.
That's what's wrong with us. We don't see past our own flesh and bones.
Only to see we are made of the same things.
We all have hearts, though some are broken.
We all have mouths, yet words left unspoken.
We all have brains but instead use hate. People ignore the world, ins't that great?
H
   A
       T
          E
It's what stops us from seeing past the labels. We try to untangle all the cables.
The ones that will maybe stop people from hurting. But it won't stop, no one is asserting.
So go ahead and take a knee. Look away from the flag that you see. And go ahead and spit and hate. Use that as a way to communicate.
See the people in which we stand. We see them above us, we're not hand and hand.
Go head and dislike my work. The hate goes around like clockwork.
Year after year nothing has changed. Having only hateful exchanged.
Burn your flags, and lock yourself away. Our society will only continue to decay.
See each person that's different then you. As a monster or even an animal too.
If you do this, i'm sad to say. You'll never understand why the joy went away. The reason we are all left in this state? Oh, it's because of all the hate.

Help me
I’m falling
And I can’t seem to find my feet again.
Help me
I’m changing
And I can’t seem to remember who I am.
Help me
I’m forgetting
I can’t seem to recall why I’m alive
Help me
I’m giving up
I can’t seem to find a reason to live

The best things in life are often
the things hidden behind
disbelief
and
fear.

Even the smallest moments make us happy.

Do you ever wish things could go back to the way they were?
Go back to light shoulders, empty without the weight of pain.
Go back to dry eyes, bright without the tears of heart ache.
Go back to wide smiles, untainted without the scars of doubt.

Do you ever wish that you could go back to the way you were?
Go back to happiness, unaffected by the wrong in the world.
Go back to laughter, not silenced by the horrid truths.
Go back to love, unbroken by the hands of someone you trusted.

You may not, but I sure do.

They say  your eyes are the windows
to                                                    your
soul.                                                     If
mine                                                 are
so                                                      tear                    
stained                                             then
why don't people see how broken I am?

Everyday I
break a little more,
and
fall a little harder.

But it all just teaches me how to
stand a little taller,
and
rise a little stronger.

Dear Younger Me,

Thank you. Thank you for not giving up. I know your road was rigged, broken, and filled with gaps. I know you lost your way multiple times.

You strayed from it into the forests of sadness. Where the leaves hung down and the wood threatened to crush you. You dove into the oceans of pain. Where you sunk and drowned in your own helplessness. How you climbed the mountains of love. Where at the very top you stood proud until you fell hard enough to shatter your heart.

But I'm glad that you kept going.

That you learned to embrace that greenery and turn it into a beautiful garden. You came out from the trees and into the arms of joy. That you opened your eyes underwater and realized the sun still shined its golden rays for you. You swam back up and was met with another day, another chance. That you took your broken heart and mended it back together with the gold earned from other mountains conquered. You brushed yourself off and continued climbing right up to the people you care about the most.  

Because you found your path again.

And this time, you were able to curve with your path, jump the gaps, and avoid the broken parts. You learned that struggle doesn't always mean failure. Struggle is proof you're trying. And trying means you'll get there. And you did.

Your path may have been hard, but it got better. You lead me to a wondrous jungle not filled with sadness, but filled with adventure. You lead me into the waters where you do not sink because of your pain. You use it to support yourself and come back stronger. You lead me up more mountains, but at every peak I learned to breath again and do my best.

So thank you. For not giving up on me. Because I will never give up on myself either.
                                                     From, A Finally Happy You

I told myself
I'd forget
every moment
every laugh
that I shared
with you.

But as I
lay awake
at 3am
I find it hard
to let go of
my best
memories.

When getting out of bed isn't so hard
When eating isn't just a chore
When going outside isn't scary
When seeing you doesn't hurt
When being happy is natural
When life feels worth living again.

I knew I loved you
when the first thought
I had when I saw you
was that I was finally
home.

I think I'm finally starting to
love myself a bit more,
laugh a bit more,
smile a bit more,
enjoy life a bit more,
and
am thankful to be alive
a bit more.

Each day I find
a new reason
to love myself.

I can finally chase after my own dreams
without you plaguing me with doubt.

It has rained for the past few days. The clouds have hung low and water darkened my world. The cold seeped through my coats and the wind constantly attacked.

But today I saw the sun. The ground is drying up and the water is fading. The cold doesn't hurt as much and the wind is much softer.

As much as I love the rain, I feel like this is a new beginning for me. One where I get to see the light everyday. One where I am thankful to be alive.

I used to feel dead.
like everything I did
was mechanic and
routinely.  

With no feeling in my body or my mind or my soul.

When I first met you
was the first time
I was made aware
that my heart was beating.

That it was possible for me to feel alive.

I no longer have to search and search for good things
each day, I can finally find them in myself.

If I'm the one who taught you how to love,
does that mean
I'm the one who taught you how to fall out of it, too?

I sit here
with a blank sheet of paper,
ready to tattoo it with the words of my heart.

It becomes very hard to make decisions
when everything and everyone tells me
its not right.
But my heart just wont give up.

I hope my hands can one day hold
a empty heart and fill it with love.

As I finally pushed the block button
I felt the weight of us falling off my shoulders.

Every time I  look into
your chocolate eyes,
I'm reminded of my
my new favorite color.

To me, you feel like watching a sunset
and bathing in its warmth.

Sometimes it takes one person, to change a life.
Sometimes it takes one smile, to brighten a day.
Sometimes it takes one laugh, to ease a child.
Sometimes it take one word, to better a world.

Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of hope, a tiny smile, and warming laugh and a few words, to make everything okay.

For we are all born without knowing we might die to soon.
We are also born without knowing we could stop those actions.

Either one could be you.

It's like the entire world feels right
whenever I see you.

I find myself holding on
to things that didn't
put in the effort
to hold on to me.

There are so many people in my life who care about me.
People who would take bullets for me.
Fight for me.
People who will always be there.

So why do I feel so alone?

It's like there's a wall
between all who try to help me
and my broken self.
And each time they get closer
my wall gets thicker.

Will I ever be okay?

All of a sudden
my heart feels lighter
and I feel like myself again.

I think you're the one
I've been looking for all along.