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Jul 2015 · 600
Pictures
Maytin Paige Jul 2015
I took our pictures down last night.
It still hurt.
After four months of not talking to you,
I decided it was time.
I had been meaning to do it,
but I had to find the time,
the heart
to actually take them down.
I tried not to look at them too much
when I would get ready in the morning
or before I would leave the house
as I passed by.
Last night,
I decided it was time.
I took the frames down from their shelves
and laid them on my bed.
I took my hand and wiped off the dust.
While doing so, my eyes scanned over our faces.
We were smiling.
We were happy.
It was us
and that was all that mattered.
We didn't need boys,
we didn't need anything.
We were best friends
and that was all that mattered.
We used to go shopping.
The antique area was the greatest.
We would walk the brick sidewalks and roads to the CD store,
the collectible store,
and even the vintage clothing store.
We passed the tattoo parlor,
and I joked about going in and making my appointment.
I almost did too.
But I didn't,
convinced it was too far away.
Only to actually get it a couple of months later.
Rides in the Jeep with the top down on the way to the private pool,
with Starbucks in the cup holder.
We talked about boys we liked,
daily events,
and had those days where we just texted song lyrics to each other.
It killed me that I couldn't tell you about my day
and I couldn't hear about yours when you called
everything off.
Now, I know it's partially my fault.
But I tried to patch it all up.
You were the one who called it all off,
without telling me.
I was left in the dust, trying.
I knew it was coming,
but I didn't want to believe it.
It was hard for me.
I couldn't talk to you everyday.
I couldn't tell you about my day nor hear about yours.
I had lost that privilege.
Four months.
It had taken me that long to take our pictures down.
Maybe I was holding onto invisible hope.
I had avoided them as much as possible in those four months though.
My hand hovered over the frame once more,
reminiscing and wishing
for those times again.
Knowing they'd never come again,
not between us,
I flipped the frames over.
I replaced the pictures and my heart ached.
Ached for the good times we had.
But it was something I had to do.
I never knew pictures could make it hurt so bad.
My day went from already ****** to even worse.
I took our pictures down last night,
and it still hurt.
*I'm a *****, and that's just how it is.*
Jun 2015 · 1.3k
Horrible Person
Maytin Paige Jun 2015
You don't need to tell me.
I know I'm a horrible person.
Okay?
I say stuff I probably shouldn't.
I know about stuff I probably shouldn't.
I've never cared what people think of me or what they say about me.
But I try so hard to be a good person.
I try to help as much as possible.
I try to be nice to everyone.
I try to have a good heart.
I say stuff I probably shouldn't.
I know about stuff I probably shouldn't.
I get annoyed easily.
I snapped when someone keeps pushing me after I become annoyed.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry my filter doesn't catch all of the information I know about.
I'm sorry I know so much information.
I'm sorry I get annoyed.
I'm sorry that I have a pushing limit.
I"m sorry I'm a horrible person.
Jun 2015 · 450
Oh, How I Wish
Maytin Paige Jun 2015
She agreed to go with me to your graduation party so I wouldn't feel awkward, only knowing your two best friends.
I parked across the street and we walked up your slanted driveway.
A former student said hello to her first, before I could find you.
But you were right in front of me
wearing a blue polo, tucked into your khaki shorts and sport flip flops.
Once you finally looked up, I waited for him to finish speaking before saying, "Hey,"
You said "Hey guys," back and made simple conversation about being graduated. Others showed before you offered us food and drink and you greeted them with long hugs.
I stood, awkwardly thinking why we didn't get hugs.
You offered us drinks in the drive or food inside.
You even joked that there was alcohol in the cooler.
We could drink one as long as we didn't drive. Then you corrected it to get caught while driving after it was in our systems. I laughed and said I was the driver here and she could have one.
You laughed and pointed us to the food inside the doorway.
We made ourselves plates and grabbed a refreshment.
We made our way back to your side to say our goodbyes.
She stepped forward to hug with both arms, as you politely returned it.
Then you reached towards me, next to you, with both arms.
How I now wish I would've used both those arms.
But our position made it almost awkwardly impossible.
I reached out with my left and pulled you to my side.
You grabbed my shoulder and pulled me close. Your left arm lingered in front of me before dropping.
I believe you were thinking of turning into a two armed hug.
Now, I wish you would've. I wish I would've turned into it.
But I didn't.
You pulled my close one last time as my hand clasped your waist.
Your waist, oh so skinny.
That's what I noticed most.
The way your body felt in my hand.
It was all ribs.
It felt nice though.
It was comforting
and your body radiated towards me, keeping me company
even though it was hot and sticky out.
Oh, how I wish I could hug you again.
How I wish there was something there between us.
But there isn't.
I would be okay to be close friends with you,
getting to hang out with you more than just work.
How I wish I could be around you.
Apr 2015 · 1.3k
Coma
Maytin Paige Apr 2015
I'm told you've been in a crash and now in the hospital.
I fish for facts, to know what's going on.
I hear you were stuck head-on on your side, that you have broken bones and a brain injury, that you're in a medically induced coma.
My heart pauses.
I can't think.
I don't believe it.
Then the news story pops up on our local paper's website.
Your friend turned in front of another car which struck you, and your sister in the backseat. The two of you have serious injuries, you're critical. But the two drivers have walked away uninjured.
I just want you to wake up.
Could it have been avoided?
I can't let you leave, I need you here with me.
I need you to push through.
I need God to prevail.
I want to sit by your bedside and demand you wake up but I know that won't help.
I've slipped into a mind coma. I can't smile. I feel numb.
I just want you to wake up.
I just want you to wake up so we can both leave this coma.
Love you Ells. I need you here. We need you here. We'll all be waiting for you when you wake up. <3
Apr 2015 · 981
I Can't Count On You
Maytin Paige Apr 2015
As I see you two laughing across the way,
I feel as if I've been placed in a modern Disney movie.
One where two best friends finally exclude their third best friend.
They leave her out and are no longer friends.
They laugh together about the stupidest things,
they go get frozen yogurt,
they enjoy Starbucks in their free time together.
They do everything the three of them used to do, but without that one girl.
I'm her.
You've excluded me and continued your friendship. A fight with one wasn't supposed to tear our whole friendship apart. You weren't supposed to stop being my friend because she was mad at me.
But you did. This isn't middle school, why have you frozen me out?
The plot twist though, is that we don't make up like they do in modern Disney movies.
We won't make up.
And that honestly scares the crap out of me
because you two were the ones I could always count on.
Mar 2015 · 558
Here's What I've Learned...
Maytin Paige Mar 2015
Here's what I've learned about you...
-You don't like coffee.
-You play Golf, Baseball, Bowling, and run Cross-Country.
-You love to drink Dr. Pepper.
-You have a slouched glide when you walk.
-You drive a red car, in which I haven't been able to find out the make and model.
-You don't like the wind, especially in your face when you drive.
-Your birthday is April 12th, making you an Aries.
-You have a good sense of humor.
-You want to go into Pre-Med.
-You buy bananas often.
-You don't like to stand in one spot, at work, for more than six hours.
-You want to go to school an hour and a half away from home.
-You didn't like all the writing in American Literature.
-Your middle name starts with an A.
That's what I've learned so far...
Mar 2015 · 640
Speed Racer
Maytin Paige Mar 2015
I'll be the first to admit that I love
that adrenaline rush.
I loved having the chance to be the wild child I wanted to be.
It was all great.
Speed Racer.
I've seen you almost smash into a guardrail on a bridge,
have two head-on-collisions.
One with a car, the other with a bus.
You've hit 95 in 35 mph zone. I couldn't wrap my head around how you did that.
It's scared me from day 1 that one of us could get hurt.
That adrenaline rush kept me going though.
Racing you, Speed Racer, was my guilty pleasure.
However, I don't know what I would do
if I could stand seeing you
crash into a guardrail
or have a head-on collision.
I can't be responsible.
And when that chick told me that she hoped I crashed because it would be funny...
That's why I told you I couldn't participate anymore.
It kills me, Speed Racer.
My resistance can only be so strong.
It kills me that I can't take part in my guilty pleasure.
It kills me that I can no longer race you, Speed Racer.
Mar 2015 · 468
Spark A Fire
Maytin Paige Mar 2015
A memory makes smile.
That moment sparked a fire. It was everything I had wished for.
I always wanted those moments, within these years, that I could look back on, in 40 years, and laugh or even say how stupid I was. That's what I wanted.
I was such a cautious child though. I knew it was better to be safe rather than sorry.
Honestly, it was when I turned sixteen that I realized that I would rather be sorry than safe.
I'd rather regret something of spontaneous moments than regret not taking a chance at whatever the topic may be.
It was when I went fifteen mph over the speedlimit to beat you, yet still lose, did I feel that adrenaline. Maybe it was just for a moment, but I looked forward to it each day.
You and I would race back to our destination
and tease each other about as soon as our vehicles were put in park.
I didn't understand how in the hell you would beat me each day.
It was because you went sixty-five mph in a thirty-five zone.
It makes me smile.
It was a moment that sparked a fire.
I can now look back and laugh about how stupid I once was.
Maybe I am stupid, but I'm happy.
No way that your Dodge Neon can beat my baby.
Mar 2015 · 368
Changes
Maytin Paige Mar 2015
You feel your heart begin to crack and crumble
as it begins to shatter.
You finally realize that the two people that you always thought would be there want nothing to do with you.
You want to exclaim your pain, but you hold back
afraid that one will notice.
You're afraid because you almost want her to notice.
In all reality, you know she won't.
You want them both to notice but you've realized they don't want a thing to do with you.
There was a time when you meant something, everything, to them.
You still feel that they mean something, everything, to you.
They helped you through so much.
You did everything you could to help them and to keep their wonderful smiles afloat from all the troubles they had too.
You feel your heart begin to crack and crumble
as it begins to shatter,
as you begin to cry,
as it becomes harder to breathe,
as you realize they're done with you.
Your heart begins to crack and crumble
as it begins to shatter.
*Things change and people change.
Feb 2015 · 428
I Don't Want to Scare You
Maytin Paige Feb 2015
You've seen me with wildly frizzy hair
in holey trashed jeans
with the thinnest level of makeup.
You've talked to me as I try to flirt with you
texted me as I try to flirt with you.
You must have some idea that I find interest in you.
You have yet to see my dark side.
While I feel you are showing a blooming interest,
there's days that I feel nothing-as if you don't care for me.
You have yet to see me have a meltdown
to see me freak out on someone
to see me be wildly angry.
Will it scare you away?
Will it make you run?
I'm more afraid of scaring you off.
Please don't be afraid...
Feb 2015 · 1.9k
Flirtationship
Maytin Paige Feb 2015
I only ever seem to have flirtationships.
Never relationships.
I feel that's what tires me most.
The thought of something being wrong with me runs its course-
over and over.
It's no question that you can tell when I like someone.
Body language is readable and I can't seem to change it.
A smile is usually constant.
My laugh is often.
My face usually reddens and I feel warm.
I am obviously aware of their presence.
A casually awkward conversation turns flirty
and ****** references
begin to enter everyday conversation.
Everything's going great.
Then fate takes it toll.
They decide to drop me,
or we slowly die out
and grow apart.
My heart breaks
due to the attachment that grew
because I saw distance in our flirting-
while they must've seen a sentence affair.
it's me
it's always me.

Yet, I can never figure out what is quite wrong with me
and no cares to tell me.
Someone new comes along and the cycle begins over again
and there's nothing I can do to help it.
I always have flirtationships,
Never relationships.
Jan 2015 · 340
United by Tragedy
Maytin Paige Jan 2015
It was a Thursday morning,
when a boy, so young and full of life,
fell victim to his own mind.
It's truly a tragedy that his best friend went over to skip school with him,
only to find him lifeless.
Teenagers, parents, friends, and family all became united once more to overcome the sad emptiness they felt from their loss.
Something so unpredictable. I can only hope that he had the time of his life. And I wish he could've realized that it's never too late.
RIP Collin.
1.15.15

*Such a tragedy that you believed it wouldn't get better. So sad that you will no longer be here to add life and excitement to others' day.
Please understand that you are a perfect angel and there's always people who care. It's never too late.
Jan 2015 · 454
Selfish. Stupid.
Maytin Paige Jan 2015
You selfish boy!
How can you bear to tear my heart to pieces?
Now I can only ask myself,
my best friend,
what did I do wrong?
was there something I could have done to make you hold my heart in gentle hands?

I exclaim that I am stupid.
Stupid for falling for you.
Stupid.
Stupid for believing that someone could, just possibly, love me. Love me in a moment or love me eternally.
Tears stain the paper I write on.
My stomach turns with sickness, yet I want to inhale food.
I close my eyes and breathe in deep.
You did this.
Not me.
But that doesn't help because you did this to me.
Trails of tears stiffen on my cheeks.
I look at my marked skin.
love
Love yourself.
That's what I need to do.
I need to love myself.
The thought still floats in my mind.
Because all I can ask is what did I do? what did I do to deserve this?
All because you decide to be selfish.
A.N. Ink stains my skin, not marks of harm. But feel free to take either way. :)
Dec 2014 · 639
I'm Not Trash
Maytin Paige Dec 2014
Do you not see me sitting here
as you talk to my best friend about
how I'm such a piece of trash?
Sorry your political views are the opposite of mine.
That doesn't mean I am a total complete piece of trash.
And how dare you talk to my best friend about it.
I don't care if you've known her for a long time.
She's my best friend and you're putting her in an uncomfortable situation.
I would love to speak up and tell you to shut your mouth
but I can't.
Normally, I would.
But the last thing I want is to make my best friend uncomfortable. I don't want awkwardness to linger in the air.
I don't want to storm out *******.
But I know I will because holding it in and biting my tongue burns it's way down my throat because I'm a better person.
I'm not the piece of trash you speak of.
Nov 2014 · 374
Hardwired
Maytin Paige Nov 2014
We're hardwired to remember fear the easiest.
Our brains are trained to fear from everyone's pain and suffering.
We're to fear fear itself.
We're hardwired.
Humans are just machines.
Hardwired.
Nov 2014 · 293
Believe
Maytin Paige Nov 2014
Believe in me
so I can believe in everything.
Nov 2014 · 577
Fairytales
Maytin Paige Nov 2014
We all want something beautiful.*
I wish I was beautiful

He says we all want something beautiful.
She says she wants to be beautiful.
She's telling him that she wants to be wanted.
She grew up being told fairytales.
She just wants to be apart of one.
She wants her own personal fairytale.
We all want to be someone special.
You're gonna be big stars
and someone special.
Oct 2014 · 246
I Can Forget It, Right?
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
I wasn't worried about you and I walking down the halls together.
I knew it'd never be that way.
I knew there was no chance in hell you and I would ever be a thing.
I'll just go hide away.
I never knew finding someone attractive was a crime.
I can't wait til the end of the year.
I never knew that finding friendship with you was worth the death penalty.

What would your friends say if we were walking down the hall together? They'd laugh their ***** off, and you'd probably tell them you were doing it with me so they'd forgive you for being seen with me.
Don't you ever talk about my friends. As far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways of school you can forget it because it's never gonna happen. Just bury your head in the sand.



*Thanks T, for making my life in a Breakfast Club scene.
Oct 2014 · 279
You Hung Me
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
Just because I gave you the rope doesn't mean you had to hang me with it.
Just because she let you stand guard didn't give you the right to tighten the knot.
I trusted you
and
now I feel sick.
Oct 2014 · 467
Can't We?
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
we can pretend it's meant to be.
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
You just about **** when you saw me sit down next to you.
You looked, wide-eyed.
Your breath even hitched.
You couldn't look in my general direction for the next eighty minutes.
It's not like I wanted to sit there anyway.
I leaned as far away as possible.
But I couldn't get far enough from you.
And when I finally let out my breath and stood to leave-
I asked if I could squeeze behind you.
You did **** then.
You stared at me for a solid minute before moving your
chair in.
Just because you're a *****,
doesn't mean I have to be rude back.
The more you suffer, the more you really care, right?
Oct 2014 · 376
A Sad Realization
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
Hot tears stream down his face as the
realization hits him that this is the last game
he will play on his home turf.
He hands his proud mother a single rose
and wraps his arms around her.
His face presses into her shoulder as
tears soak his away jersey that his mother wears on her back.
She's there to comfort him.
Only he doesn't feel that way.
He's scared.
Where will he be a year from now?
He remains scared the whole game.
He then feels ice cold fingers grip the neck of his shoulder and chest pads.
He turns to meet the face of the person who make his skin cool.
Her smile warms.
He tries to stay positive and polite while she talks to him,
as he tries to multitask and focus on the game.
But internally, he wants to cry again.
Therefore, he ends up snapping at her,
feeling guilty about it.
Wanting her to walk away and forget everything that just came
out of his mouth.
Oct 2014 · 300
Your Photograph
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
Being a photographer
almost automatically
gives you the
right
to be in someone's business.
To know secrets.
You can get in someone's face
and be all creeper-like
and not have it be too big of a deal.
You feel giddy when that one person
wants to be your continuous subject.
As you watch through the lens,
you see every move,
capture every shot-
every motion.
You learn to see the real beauty within each movement a person makes.
I have your photograph,
but it doesn't feel like it's enough.
It's addictive,
it's beautiful.
Your photograph means something to someone.
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
I think it's cute how your face scrunches up when you laugh.
Your eyes squint into slits.
Your nose crinkles.
Your mouth opens.
Your small, baby-like, teeth flash.
It makes me laugh because it's cute.
You do it way too often,
and it makes my day better,
to be honest.
Your laugh causes me to laugh,
which makes my day better.
Sep 2014 · 450
Thanks
Maytin Paige Sep 2014
you sTare at  my back
wHile i mix mAgNesium and copper sulfate.
your brain tries to function and wrap around what to say.
megan tooK my chair.
i turn and argue that i didn't.
i've been uSing this chair all period.
you continue to playfully argue with me until deciding that i am going to win this 'argument'
because i go to pull yours from under you.
my nose presses into your shoulder.
you smell of Tide and manly musk.
so Attractive.
You grip the stool of your chair as it rocks against the floor.
you go on to tease me about how your chem project is
without flaw
and how you're the best there ever was.
Sep 2014 · 279
SILENCE
Maytin Paige Sep 2014
It haunts you.
Yet someone is bound to break it
as it needs to be broken.
Sep 2014 · 405
Collide
Maytin Paige Sep 2014
You're quick to criticize my driving.
But I watch it backfire on you
because you drive more recklessly than I do.
It's you that can't be near me.
It's you that gets angry if we 're parked next to each other.
I promise you, that I don't do it on purpose.
You and I just seem to collide in everything we do.
Sep 2014 · 332
Get Over Yourself
Maytin Paige Sep 2014
I hear rumors that you're sleeping with her.
I hear you say how you miss your ex and you need to feel something.
Maybe there were feelings there.
But doing something of your choice then complaining about it...
I can't even go there.
Get over yourself.
You're not the person you believe you are.
Aug 2014 · 1.2k
Football Experience
Maytin Paige Aug 2014
Do you go home and shower that
dried mud and stalks of grass off
after a rainy game of football?
Do you blast the AC on the drive
home-because while on the field,
everyone around you can see the
heat escaping from your head?
Do you get a rush of energy
from those tackles you made?
Do you get pumped up from
that win you just got?
You've got me interested in
your football experience.
Tell me about it as I sit
here, interested.
Aug 2014 · 275
Mixed Emotions
Maytin Paige Aug 2014
How did it feel to see my face again?
Did you think that you could look at me without that guilt-ridden face of yours showing?
Did the look in my eyes give away that my stomach suddenly felt empty?
Because you make me sick, I'm just not sure whether it's a good or bad thing yet.
But even when my stomach flips,
I still want to walk up to you and say a big
*******
and hurt you in the worst way possible.
But maybe it will be us against the world once again
in years to come.
But now,
when I want you to stay as far away as possible,
you seem to be near me in some way.
Aug 2014 · 403
Innocence
Maytin Paige Aug 2014
My seniors gloat how innocent I am.
My mother laughs
due to my tongue.
The one that slips up and talks like a sailor.
Only mother doesn't know how truly innocent I may or may not be.
Though she may have a pretty penny about how innocent I may be,
she surely doesn't have a complete grasp.
*because when you're a teenager, curiosity kills your innocence.
Aug 2014 · 255
A Little Lost
Maytin Paige Aug 2014
What I really need is a night without you
haunting me.
I can't have the memories
of those crazy nights,
the extraordinary days,
and all the things we did
swirl around my head and
not want you back.
Maybe I really need a bottle of Jack
or a triple shot of something strong
until I don't remember.
I don't care if they're back tomorrow,
I just need a break.
Keep those drinks coming until those memories melt away.
Let the truth, and the noise, and the alcohol collide.
Just let me get a little lost.
Jul 2014 · 1.4k
I Regret Everything
Maytin Paige Jul 2014
I regret everything.
I regret my decision to stay in sports,
give it one last shot to live out my dreams.
I regret twisting my knee.
I regret tearing my ACL and meniscus.
I regret having surgery.
Because if I could go back now and change it all from the beginning,
I wouldn't be here.
Stuck laying in my bed for at least two weeks
with my my leg sensitive and in pain.
Nothing to do but sleep and watch movies all day long.
I regret giving my life away for these three months
to make my knee heal.
I regret everything
because
I just want my life back.
Jul 2014 · 397
A Moment's Thought
Maytin Paige Jul 2014
What was your first thought when we met?
What were your thoughts when I tried my best to explain math to you?
What were your thoughts about our conversations?
The ones that involved laughter,
****** innuendos,
speaking of our favorite hobbies
and other various details about ourselves,
and the begging of hanging out?
What ran through your head as you asked me to help you
go to the bathroom?
What were you thinking when we ran into each other in public?
What were you thinking when we made plans to hang out?
What went through your head when we shared a hug?
What did your mind do when our faces were frozen
two inches apart?
What ran through your **** mind when
you all together stopped talking to me,
stopped returning my texts and calls?
What were your thoughts when we would see each other
after you dropped me?
The times you would always look at me with guilt,
and see me faking my emotions?
though you didn't know that
A moment's thought can change it all.
It can prove the simplest meanings of the most complicated analogies and situations.
What were your moments thoughts?
Tell me,
and I'll tell you mine.
Jun 2014 · 343
Your Desctruction
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
They say I'm the best for you
and
you're the worst for me.
But you gave me the adventure that
I had longed for.
So either you're the best or worst thing for me.
Giving me the adventure that I'd wanted
letting me be free and broaden my horizons.
You gave me something that I didn't have.
I helped you be a better person
have a wider outlook on life.
Whether someone told you
that you deserved better than to be with someone
like me,
due to stereotypes,
or
someone told you that I deserved better than you-
you decided to take off.
Now you're claiming that
you're a fool.
Needing to know if someone has taken my pain,
my trust.
If someone better took your place,
or
is someone swooping in
and making your destruction
even worse.
I don't believe you have that right though,
because you gave me something I didn't have
then ripped
it right out of my hands.
Jun 2014 · 1.2k
Acting It Out
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
You were going to teach me to snowboard
and watch me fall on my ***
uncountable times and laugh until I threw a snowball at your face.
I was going to watch you longboard as I licked the $2 ice cream cone I'd bought.
The one you insisted on licking before boarding off into the sunset.
It hurts that we act like none of this ever happened
because you didn't even tell me you were leaving.
You didn't get to see the makeup run down my face
or the tears escape my eyes.
I don't get to know the reason you left me alone.
Even though we act like we're both fine,
are you off feeling lonely
wondering where I am?
Because we up and dropped those dreams we once shared.
And though we act like we're both fine,
It's easy for me to put up a front
and act it all out.
Jun 2014 · 5.0k
Emotional Recovery
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
The doctor tells me my results.
Three injuries in one.
I would need surgery.
Tears welled in my eyes.
I could no longer play the sports I loved.
Was this the end?
My ACL decided athletics had taken it's toll,
and my menisci was right along with it.
The bruised bone was a bonus though.
Was this the end?
Could I emotionally handle
the recovery?
The recovery of heartbreak from simple test results
The recovery from physical damage
The recovery of surgery that joined my main muscles back together again
The recovery of a new muscle, foreign to me
Will I ever be fully recovered?
The simple test results that can crush dreams.
Jun 2014 · 255
That's Not The Case
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
It was you and me, baby
but that's not the case anymore.
My hair is in a loose knot atop my head
from a days activities.
Strands of my bangs and loose pieces
fly in the circulation of air around the room.
I couldn't think of a reason to stay and try,
besides the fact that I wasn't scared.
I never cared what people thought,
and now won't be the start.
Maybe I'm better off being sorry
than I would've been if I had played it safe.
Are you trying to be the hero
and save me from this heartbreak?
Thinking ignorance is bliss
when it really isn't.
Are you just being a shallow human being
that I once believed you weren't?
Things felt like they were going good
and then the bad thing took its toll.
I'm not the angel I used to be,
but you aren't the cause.
Possibly a piece to the puzzle of making me who I am,
though.
Should I be happy that I wasn't afraid
or
should I be sorry that I didn't play it safe?
I've said my piece.
There's nothing left to say.
Jun 2014 · 354
You & Your Sister
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
I stand back a ways,
and watch as you are with your sister.
Though she may be older, I see the way you care for her.
Your arm wraps around her waist
to pose for pictures.
Your big rough hand rests limply on
the curve of her waist that forms into her hips
as your other hand is your pants pocket.
You look down at her,
your short big sister,
and see a smile spread across her face as
she looks at the camera.
You can't help but smile at her genuine innocence.
I can see that you would do anything for her.
She's your sister
and you look up to her.
You hug her tight
and she kisses your cheek.
While you may not share her genuine innocence,
it brings out the innocent parts of you.
The ones that can help you love
and care for not only her,
but others.
She one of those people that brings the best out in you.
Jun 2014 · 452
Reap What You Sow, My Dear
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
We sowed something wonderful
we made each other faces,
shared private secrets,
and you didn't care that I gave you meaningless nicknames.
But then you up and left.
You left me.
Now you feel guilty for what you've done
and have no hint how to make it right.
Because I'm old enough to know
not to hang onto a man.
I'm too independent for that.
Maybe it's true,
I do wish it was the way it were.
But I'm not going to wait around
and beg for you.
So you feel guilty that you left me
and I'm over here
living my life as if you were never a sentence in my book,
though we both know you were a chapter or two.
Don't go tellin' me you're sorry for what you've done
and guilt is eating you alive
because, my dear, you reap what you sow.
Jun 2014 · 416
Dear Louise,
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
Dear Louise,
     I am writing this letter to you, my love, fifty years after the one summer day that everyone remembers. June 6th, 1944. The day I first landed in Normandy, France. I was fresh out of high school, only just eighteen. I was scared out of my mind. I remember the day I spent in the hospital, as the nurse looked at me and started a conversation. "You're all kids, sweetheart. You're so young. Eighteen, drafted to ****. Killing people at eighteen years of age. You're all kids, fighting for the same purpose. But it's not fair, I tell ya." I didn't know what to tell her. I couldn't think of anything besides the fact that I was defending my country, not only for myself, but for you, my love. I wanted you, us, to have that wonderful life everyone once dreamed of. Today, as you lay in heaven, I hope I was able to give you that life. The one you and I dreamed of. I hope the house, the marriage, the children were everything you wished for. I miss you dearly.
                                                                 Much Love,
                                                                     -Walt
I know today is the 70th anniversary, but I thought I'd take this back a couple of decades. I tried to keep language clean as men back then would not use explicit language around ladies.
May 2014 · 1.1k
You Left Me Unanswered
Maytin Paige May 2014
We left these everything unanswered
and never had any form of closure.
You left me with these memories,
the good ones great,
the bad ones not so great.
I'm sorry for everything I've done,
but maybe if you show me what your dreams are made of,
we can make sense of this ordeal.
Because I know you still have something, buried deep within.
Did you want to tell me about selling your car?
Did you want to text me about the scar that now wraps around your ankle?
If you're done with us,
and trying to get over our conversations and memories,
than I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me out of it.
Close the door on the way out instead of trying to waste my time.
But if I'm the one wasting your time,
it's your call.
You left me,
so maybe I'll go show someone else what my dreams are made of.
May 2014 · 323
Problems
Maytin Paige May 2014
You said you'd never be this guy.
So what the hell happened?
Why are you being the ******* you promised not to be?
I want to talk to you.
I need to talk to you.
I just have to
because
one day I'm perfectly fine
while on others, I want to scream and cry because of the stuff you've done.
But I know you're not going to tell me what I want to hear.
Would you even meet me somewhere to talk?
Or would you ditch me?
I can't stand to be ripping at seams on those horrible days.
Why the hell are you this important to me?
I'm no beauty queen.
There isn't anything special about me with my ripped jeans and tshirt.
Maybe that's why you decided to leave me alone.
May 2014 · 1.9k
Prom Night
Maytin Paige May 2014
Did you decide to go?
Maybe go out with some friends afterwards and
toast to being a year closer to graduating?
Did you decide to ask the freshman who is only popular because of the clothes she wears and things she does?
Or are you staying home?
Are you all dressed up in a tux?
Possibly wondering what I'm doing and
what would it be like if you
had asked me?
Or maybe you're just getting off work and had decided to skip on Prom this year?
Are you walking onto the dance floor at this moment with a date or your friends and wondering if you should have asked
me instead-
while I sit here reading my book
and wondering if you're thinking of me?
May 2014 · 950
Did I Do Something Wrong
Maytin Paige May 2014
I stand under the
shower head
letting water scald my skin.
Water burns my face as I hold it under.
What did I do that's so bad
that you leave me hanging?
You've shut down and don't wanna talk.
Maybe you think this saves us both the hurt.
Yet, your hesitating caused my heart to break a little more each day.
Forgive me babe.
Did I do something wrong?
May 2014 · 301
American Classic
Maytin Paige May 2014
We speed down the winding
highway.
You pass me.
I pass you.
We repeat this until
the straight strip lies ahead of our
headlights.
You go to pass me
but stay by my side.
I can't wipe the smile from my face
as I look to my left and see you grinning at me
not paying attention to the left side of the road ahead of you.
I kiss my fingertips
and flip you the bird.
You wink and finally pass me up,
revving the engine
of your American classic.
May 2014 · 269
Stay
Maytin Paige May 2014
stay....stay....stay
i'll let you break my heart as much as
you want
as long as you stay
stay....stay....stay
Apr 2014 · 270
Does It Help?
Maytin Paige Apr 2014
Does that smoke
clear me from your head?
Does being high make you forget me?
Does cannabis help wipe away your feelings
towards me?
You still have that glimmer of guilt in your blue eyes-
when you look for me when you think I'm not around to see you,
when you ignore me as we walk side by side.
Does the illicit drug help you forget the time
we wrapped our arms around each other, with your hands
lightly resting below my bra clasp, while you breathed in my scent
or
the time you leaned in and were about to ******* chapped lips?
Does the grass help you change your mind about how you really feel about me?
Does the alcohol help you sleep at night when you toss and turn with thoughts of me?
Or do I still haunt you through your choice of illicit substance use?
Maytin Paige Apr 2014
What do you want me to say?
Do you want me to ask
Where did we go wrong?,
Why are you ignoring me?,
Are you ashamed of me?,
Are you ashamed to be seen with me?,
What did I do?,
Or is it you?,
Are you the one who ******* everything up?,
Why ignore me then act like my friend?,
What's going on between us?,
Tell me how you really feel about me.

But
I know you want me to not say anything and go on pretending
as if everything was fine.
Apr 2014 · 407
You Haunt My Thoughts
Maytin Paige Apr 2014
The faces that we made at
each other
haunt my thoughts
as you celebrate
4/20
by blazing up.
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