i’m numb,
no i’m not sad, not happy
maybe i’m fine

but i’m numb

when you give them your all
and you often don’t get it back
it leaves you empty

no.

it leaves you numb

we’re kids
we don’t know what
the hell we’re doing
all we know is
it felt good,
then it really
hurt

i didn’t mean to fall in love
but i did
and you didn’t mean to hurt
but you did

Well, open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and, ****, you're free
And look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love, love

hey,
im getting better

I thought I was so poetic

I shrug now, but I though I was revolutionary,
so quirky-
Beware the Ides of March,
I had just read Julius Caesar for the first time,
Beware the Ides of March,
that little kid, me, he was so creative,
so caring, so funny,
so
sad
oh, little me was very sad,
only a year apart from now, yet still
little me, I thought I was so different
I thought I would make a change, last year, today
March 5,
I’d warn people beforehand as well but,
honestly, it was a code for “help me,”
I’d say “beware the ides of march” jokingly,
only-
I wasn’t joking I meant it
I said it again, I would say
Beware the Ides of March
keep in mind, wow, what a sad kid
I would say it again,

jokingly.

The first day, March first,
day 1, first day of march
I met realization;
I’d often stop throughout my day, in shock
fear
hesitation
March 2nd,
oh,
this is the month
March 3rd comes fast
I sit
I sit in my room and look around,
this is the week, I thought to myself,
I kept moving
March 4th
I was quiet,
at first,
then remembered, tomorrow
March 5th
I had to be happy I had to be loud,
today was the day after all,
I would be remembered
I would be loved
things would be okay
after today,
like a sacrifice.
I treated life like a sacrifice,
why?

March 5th,
Beware the Ides of March,
Today,
One year

Beware the Ides of March;
today a year ago I wrote my suicide note,
from a year ago to today, i will have been standing here,
alive,
I survived
I didn’t follow through with it,
no, it wasn’t fear that stopped me,
it wasn’t lack of commitment,

Something just didn’t let me go that day
and I looked up
I stood up
I kept going

I didn’t have a single suicidal thought today
A year ago today, I tried to **** myself
but today,
Today I am okay

This is one for the standing trees
Staying put so that life can breathe, but
When we take more than what we need,
it isn’t fair

We are here we are alive
On this earth,
Made to do more than survive
It’s our turn

if you happen to fall,
follow the stars,
i'll be there too,
i'll meet you at mars

i can’t explain
i’m on a different plane
i’m not the same

i’m so much better
head strong
no matter the weather
now i don’t care
not maliciously
i simply do not care
for anyone
and it’s nice

coming out of my shell,
smiling and free
my only goal
is to make everyone smile
that’s including me
because now, i’m finally somebody
i always have been
i’ve always deserved to be happy
but when its foggy
it’s kind of hard to see

as long as you rest in my arms
i’ve got you
rest
close your eyes
listen to the wind
the howling skies
just a bad day
tomorrow is new
we’ve made it this far, right?

i’ve got you

cant pretend that i was perfect,
leavin you in fear

i woke up and thought
i’m still tired
why am i so tired

i’m tired of being sad
so much
all the time

so now i’m not sad
i’m not
anything.

i didn’t deserve
all of the mean things
you said to me

it’s all a blur
what we had
i can’t remember

you made me hate me
cause you hated yourself

you’re the most beautiful boy in the cosmos
goodnight midnight skies
no good byes
soft thighs, sweaty palms,
see through lies
i see you, you can’t hide
you’re beautiful darling
no need for disguise
i know who you are
and every bit of it
i adore

you can change what you do
        you can’t change what you want

i’m sorry for what i said when i was hurt

i realized i am loved
and im being selfish
being selfish comes in so many different forms
im tired of dwelling
there’s light behind these black out curtains
today i realized that all i have to do is push the curtains aside and let in the warmth and light
no more sobbing in a cold black out box
there’s so much more to life

We had run around
In the summer in the nighttime
We made no sound
And deep in the forest we get lost
Whistle to the Birds as they call
Go on Trips
Moving with weather as it shifts
We took to the seas and let it drift
How many islands could we hear?

I´d follow you
To the end of the world if only you would ask me to
On and on we go, my friend
I’ve got you
Nothing to stop us now
Because we found in life what´s true
Oh my friend i can’t stress enough  
I´d follow you

if only you would ask me to

baby, you will find someone
the right one, someday
but for now, take this time as a gift

The Moon is beautiful
only when the mind is seeking
beauty and the heart is loving.
Stay wild, moon child.
The wisdom of the Moon
is greater than
the wisdom of the Earth
because the Moon sees the universe
better than the Earth can see it.
There is something haunting
in the light of the Moon.

give me some kind of proof
that you were real
that we really happened
it feels so long ago
it was
it feels like you’re dead
you’ve died
you’re missing
i often wonder
where the **** did you go
then i remember
you’re gone
you might wonder why i grieved so hard
the last i had spoke to you
there was a chance you’d die
alone
in that dumb ******* car
in that dumb ******* park
alone
i didn’t want that
after the call
it had felt like you had died
that’s why i grieved so hard
seeing you now
feels like i’m seeing a ghost

are you?
give me some kind of proof
that you were real

I miss the *** where you kiss whenever you through
Sixty-nine is the only dinner for two
I was wrong, but would you have listened to you?
Uh, you were crazy
I got a heart, but the art of choking's
Only thing girls want when you in that smoke and light

Alfredo sauce
chicken bean soup

just breathe
take a hit
****
sleep on it