this is killing me
but i want to die anyway right
i’m fueled and i feed off of your energy
you might not have died that night
but baby i swear you’re dead to me
but please come back
but stay the hell away
but look into my eyes
just for a moment
then quickly look
away

maybe we’re meant to be
alone.

Nobody can mute me, but I never said nobody can't shoot me

i miss him
i miss you

i don’t know what to do

see i knew it was different
when you fell and i kept cheering
but when i fell,
you kept walking
you turned around and averted your eyes
but when you fell i helped you up
despite the painful screams i still tried
but when i was hurting
you went inside
you went to hide

i knew we weren’t the same
when a pen dropped and you’d run
but i’d go find the sound
and pick the pen up

you left a mess
and i cleaned up

i’m not on a high horse
i’m simply better
than you, at least
because i learn
because i try
because i’m not afraid of the unknown
and i push away my pride
you’re a pig
i’ll say it, i admit
you’re the worse thing that ever happened to me
but thank you,
cause i learned from it

i hate hearing past memories
from your old peers
of you and your buddies
wronging the ones who
simply wanted love
because you thought it was fun
you all make me sick
knowing what you’ve all done
was hurting them fun?
ridiculous,
you’re a hypocrite
it’s sad
to see you trying to get with a little kid
stay away from him
you, them
y’all are bad people
he deserves better
she deserved better

maybe you were right
we were hardly friends to begin with
i don’t know you
i never did
to think i was dancing with a poser
a fake with a mask
for an entire year

i hope you’re better know
but you’ll never be forgiven
for what you did

im struggling,
silently
honestly, it’s alright
cause i got me
and me is all i need,
i’ll get through it,
eventually

i always do,
i always have,
i know the universe
has my back,
but that doesn’t mean
im not struggling
cause i am,
just silently

but i don’t need help,
as long as i can see
that i got me,
i’ll be alright,
i just gotta believe

keep believing
even while my heart is weak,
and i can’t feel my chest beat,
and there’s a lump in my throat,
and my eyes get heavy,

i’ll make it through
even if im struggling
as long as i keep silent
and don’t forget me

I wanna get better
While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines
I was losing my mind 'cause the love,
the love, the love, the love, the love
That I gave wasted on a nice face
In a blaze of fear I put a helmet on a helmet
Counting seconds through the night and got carried away
So now I'm standing on the overpass screaming at the cars,

Hey, I wanna get better!

If all he does is smile at you—
run,

Doesn't leaving me mean a little less if you left my life
But never loved to begin with?
You never loved to begin with
You never loved me

how the hell did we get so far apart

i can bring
as many bodies into my bed with me
and still
no one fits my frame
like yours did

if you feel like I do right now
Don't say you're on the run to the other side
My love
You say you wanna try
But you never do
Sugar, there's a reason why we lose
Baby come on
You say you wanna try but you never do

A lump in my throat
Glueing closed my tear ducts
Don't cry don't cry
You have no valid reason
Oh you're stressed?
**** it up life is stressful

If your seeing this,
*******
i miss you

you told me to bring you along
then i remembered it was only just a song-
listening to it now feels like
peppers in my eyes-
i wish when i saw you
i’d just go ******* blind
forever isn’t a life time but maybe more of a dream—
you left me a mess, when you left,
a mess i had to clean
you were a tornado dashing through
my mind
i’m tired of it this time

i wanna get better, it’s time to get better
i knew it was different,
when you fell i kept cheering
but when i messed up,
you walked away, you shut me out,
all **** day and you gave up
don’t rage at me for shooting yourself
you pulled the trigger, you had the ***
you said you were ******* done

i wanna get better, it’s time to get better
i’m tired of this *******
tornado weather
i’m drunk in the dark
alone, on the ground at a park
how the hell
did we get
a million miles apart

forever isn’t a life time, but more of a dream

Drive by my house and look me in the eyes
tell me that it was worth it
through all the lies, those burnt up ties, swallowed by flies, memories of me caressing your thighs oh i’m done with the lies no i’m done with the lies god i’m done with the lies all those lies all the time!


i knew it was different,
when i kept cheering
but
you walked away
and you closed your eyes

We both shattered stars, we crushed the moons to hearts
my minds racing, i don’t see you here
try listening for your heartbeat but there’s nothing to hear
you said it was gone, for thousands of years so why did i keep trying to find something under the rubble and wasting my time

sitting in the dark
shifting through the stars
wondering where you are,
it was bad from the start
maybe we’re destined to be apart

i told you in another life
forever isn’t a life time,
but more so, only a dream

it’s starts with routine
just get out of bed
no not at noon
no not at 11
no not at 10
just get out of bed

it’s starts with routine
go water your garden
fill up the dog bin
stare outside
for 10

it starts with routine
make something to eat
go do your laundry
make your bed
get a little reckless
cut your hair
pick up a pen

it starts with routine
it starts with living the exact same way
over and over again
without leaving your house
for two weeks straight
it’ll be worth it
i keep telling myself it’ll be worth it
it just starts with routine

“dude are you good??”
*******
no

even when i’m close to you
you feel so far away
and even when you’re in my arms
you can’t promise that you’ll stay
so i’m sorry for the “heartache”
but i’ll have to let you go
my fragile heart can’t handle this
that’s all i need to know
maybe you were trying
more than i thought
maybe we can try again
but gods i truly hope not

i wish i never got hurt
but i did
i can’t trust anyone again

you’re out of my life entirely
and i don’t feel a thing
i’m sorry you had to be there for that

they’ll never take us alive

i don’t care if you’re contagious
let me hold your hand
i don’t care if your sick
you’re beautiful to me
let’s both lie bedridden
together
they’ll never take us alive
i’d rather die

are we whole
or just two halves
reaching out to the unknown?

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad
It's always one step forward and three steps back
Do you love me, want me, hate me?

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly
I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you
I don't feel so alone

Did you get enough love, my little dove
Why do you cry?
And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best
Though it never felt right
My
Versailles

we both shattered the moons and stars,
i can’t see you anywhere
it was an apocalypse from the start,
i wish i could say i’ll meet you at mars
but the airs too polluted
from us driving our cars,
so maybe instead
in the future i’ll see you at walmart,
maybe at a few bars.

i know we’ll meet again one day
it’s written in the disfigured stars
but somehow despite the distance
you don’t feel that far

be sure you kiss your knuckles
before you punch me in the face

i felt so helpless
he grabbed me and i went still
i left
i didn’t leave
but something in my mind did
i left
i couldn’t move
i could have but i didn’t
i felt trapped
i didn’t move
why didn’t i move

i don’t mind spending everyday
out on the corner in the pouring rain

I know you can't see it
while the world is gray,
But hold my hand,
Don't let go
Everything, my love, will be okay,
We'll see better days,
The gray will fade,
I'm with you,
I'll lead you through the fog,
I've got you,
I'm here right by your side

Where will I go,
Who will I be,
when the knowledge that I've thrown
lands on me?
I used to fear the words of the priest,
Til i found out he's just a man like me,
And all the wrongs I've done
They got me on the run

And it's what you do
That comes back to you

What will I find,
Who will I meet,
knows that hate get their hands on me
Is there a line that I have crossed?
What do I gain, for all that i've lost
Comes back to you

I get my rage from my mother's side
And addiction vibes from my father's line
And man OCD's pulling out my hair
Yeah my brain feels like a nightmare

I'm attention deficit
And my anxiety's loving it
When I think about possibly dying
I wonder if i'm really ok?

Ouch! Life hurts like that
When hearts and panic stress attacks
And even though I feel like hell sometimes
I kinda always find a silver lining

Ouch! My smile's bruised
It's often that I feel confused
But even though I feel like hell is waiting
I know ima be ok

Forever isn't for everyone
Is forever for you?
It sounds like settling down -
or giving' up?
But it don't sound much like you,
I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake, baby
Snap out of it
I get the feelin' I left it too late, but baby
Snap out of it
I'll be here waitin' ever so patiently
For you to snap out of it