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Jun 8 · 151
need you now
max Jun 8
but i don’t know you yet
graveyard
Jun 6 · 93
Reminiscing
max Jun 6
give me some kind of proof
that you were real
that we really happened
it feels so long ago
it was
it feels like you’re dead
you’ve died
you’re missing
i often wonder
where the **** did you go
then i remember
you’re gone
you might wonder why i grieved so hard
the last i had spoke to you
there was a chance you’d die
alone
in that dumb ******* car
in that dumb ******* park
alone
i didn’t want that
after the call
it had felt like you had died
that’s why i grieved so hard
seeing you now
feels like i’m seeing a ghost

are you?
give me some kind of proof
that you were real
grave yard
Jun 1 · 75
Fin
max Jun 1
Fin
Alright,

I’m done.
not maliciously–
I love you
but,
finally,
I’m done.

We had fun,
we had a good run,
I love you
but,
this chapter is over
and
the book is finished,
off to a new one

I love you,
we both won,
we’re still here,
even though we both
held guns

Have some fun,
I’m finally done
the end
i won’t be coming back to this account
it’s like a time capsule now
see you around
May 30 · 88
gentle
max May 30
“be gentle with yourself
as this moment passes through”

relax
remember
you are uniquely you
thank you
May 29 · 251
losing my mind
max May 29
you made me hate me
cause you hated yourself
my mommy issues are acting up and it shows
how tf did i get so suicidal again jesus ******* christ
max May 29
****
im sorry
i didn’t mean to be a ****
i’ll get over it

every time i let someone in
they let me down,
so forgive me
if it takes a minute

i know you love me
i know you care
i didn’t mean for those words
to come out like that

i know you won’t hurt me
it’s just hard
letting you in
what if i hurt you?
you’re delicate

i know you won’t hurt me
i’ve put up walls to prevent that
but what if i’m doing that,
i hurt you?

i don’t mean to
it just takes time
getting used to you
May 28 · 79
can’t lose again
max May 28
im struggling,
silently
honestly, it’s alright
cause i got me
and me is all i need,
i’ll get through it,
eventually

i always do,
i always have,
i know the universe
has my back,
but that doesn’t mean
im not struggling
cause i am,
just silently

but i don’t need help,
as long as i can see
that i got me,
i’ll be alright,
i just gotta believe

keep believing
even while my heart is weak,
and i can’t feel my chest beat,
and there’s a lump in my throat,
and my eyes get heavy,

i’ll make it through
even if im struggling
as long as i keep silent
and don’t forget me
May 28 · 66
reminder
max May 28
leave the ******* kid alone
dudes been through enough
May 27 · 104
graduation
max May 27
did you walk off to cry
cause no one cheered for you?
or cause you saw me flipping you off in the stands
you walked up and everyone was silent *****
im so glad im never gonna see you again pffft
May 26 · 152
karmic
max May 26
i used to think you were a twin flame
silly isn’t it
you’re a karmic
i can’t do that again
the cycle can’t repeat
it’s gotta change
i can’t come back
you’re not my twin flame
May 26 · 248
im a mess
max May 26
Did everything I could, then I kept going
May 25 · 63
interview
max May 25
jesus christ
im turning 17 next month
my heart is pounding out of my chest
with the bass of my car’s speakers
pounding
vibrations against my back
my stomach twisting
everything’s moving so fast
good thing i like roller coasters
time to hop on this ride
im ready for this
there’s no going back
May 24 · 65
damn
max May 24
i have absolutely
no emotional attachment
to you
lol
May 18 · 202
Untitled
max May 18
baby, you will find someone
the right one, someday
but for now, take this time as a gift
May 17 · 294
at least not at first
max May 17
i didn’t deserve
all of the mean things
you said to me
but neither did you to be honest
max May 15
blood dripping
face bruised
i can’t stop thinking
about hurting you
******
i read that’s a normal thing to think through
it means you’re “human”
so why is it
i think about killing
more than three times this afternoon
note: not  Homocidal, this is an old suicidal poem i wrote a while ago and i like it it’s meant to be me talking to myself
May 15 · 165
lyrical genius
max May 15
I miss the *** where you kiss whenever you through
Sixty-nine is the only dinner for two
I was wrong, but would you have listened to you?
Uh, you were crazy
I got a heart, but the art of choking's
Only thing girls want when you in that smoke and light
May 8 · 112
sick i wrote a song
max May 8
If your seeing this,
*******
i miss you

you told me to bring you along
then i remembered it was only just a song-
listening to it now feels like
peppers in my eyes-
i wish when i saw you
i’d just go ******* blind
forever isn’t a life time but maybe more of a dream—
you left me a mess, when you left,
a mess i had to clean
you were a tornado dashing through
my mind
i’m tired of it this time

i wanna get better, it’s time to get better
i knew it was different,
when you fell i kept cheering
but when i messed up,
you walked away, you shut me out,
all **** day and you gave up
don’t rage at me for shooting yourself
you pulled the trigger, you had the ***
you said you were ******* done

i wanna get better, it’s time to get better
i’m tired of this *******
tornado weather
i’m drunk in the dark
alone, on the ground at a park
how the hell
did we get
a million miles apart

forever isn’t a life time, but more of a dream

Drive by my house and look me in the eyes
tell me that it was worth it
through all the lies, those burnt up ties, swallowed by flies, memories of me caressing your thighs oh i’m done with the lies no i’m done with the lies god i’m done with the lies all those lies all the time!


i knew it was different,
when i kept cheering
but
you walked away
and you closed your eyes

We both shattered stars, we crushed the moons to hearts
my minds racing, i don’t see you here
try listening for your heartbeat but there’s nothing to hear
you said it was gone, for thousands of years so why did i keep trying to find something under the rubble and wasting my time

sitting in the dark
shifting through the stars
wondering where you are,
it was bad from the start
maybe we’re destined to be apart

i told you in another life
forever isn’t a life time,
but more so, only a dream
May 4 · 136
Untitled
max May 4
Nobody can mute me, but I never said nobody can't shoot me
max May 4
That's why I'm backdooring you motherfuckas
All y'all can **** my ****
All them days at the county building
Now I'm 'bout to make my mama rich
Cartoons and
     cereal
I ain't felt this
     good since
Scrooge McDuck,
     here we go
Elementary
      hood ****
May 4 · 70
Untitled
max May 4
Ain't nobody gon' tie your shoe
Nobody gon' abide by your rule
max May 2
just breathe
take a hit
****
sleep on it
my chest is on fire
May 1 · 87
The Moon is Beautiful
max May 1
we both shattered the moons and stars,
i can’t see you anywhere
it was an apocalypse from the start,
i wish i could say i’ll meet you at mars
but the airs too polluted
from us driving our cars,
so maybe instead
in the future i’ll see you at walmart,
maybe at a few bars.

i know we’ll meet again one day
it’s written in the disfigured stars
but somehow despite the distance
you don’t feel that far
May 1 · 69
Untitled
max May 1
And as the sun went down
We ended up on the ground
I heard the train shake the windows
You screamed over the sound
And as we own this night
I put your body to the test with mine
This love was out of control
3, 2, 1, where did it go?

If I were you, I'd put that away
See, you're just wasted and thinking about the past again
Darling, you'll be okay
And he said
"If you were me, you'd do the same
'Cause I can't take anymore
I'll draw the shades and close the door
Everything's not alright and I would rather"

This love was out of control
Tell me, where did it go?
you’ll be okay, i’m sorry for what’s happening in the world today
May 1 · 72
hang on this may
Apr 29 · 99
Untitled
max Apr 29
i’d give up
forever
to touch you
cause i know
that you feel me
somehow
Apr 28 · 87
just get out of bed
max Apr 28
it’s starts with routine
just get out of bed
no not at noon
no not at 11
no not at 10
just get out of bed

it’s starts with routine
go water your garden
fill up the dog bin
stare outside
for 10

it starts with routine
make something to eat
go do your laundry
make your bed
get a little reckless
cut your hair
pick up a pen

it starts with routine
it starts with living the exact same way
over and over again
without leaving your house
for two weeks straight
it’ll be worth it
i keep telling myself it’ll be worth it
it just starts with routine
just keep swimming
Apr 28 · 115
drunk in the dark
max Apr 28
how the hell did we get so far apart
max Apr 28
if i kiss you in this moment
i’ll never be able to walk away
Apr 26 · 103
Heavy on..
max Apr 26
I’m not mad at you.

That’s who you are,
that’s your character.

Be that character,
but I don’t have to deal with it
Apr 22 · 125
Untitled
max Apr 22
i hate hearing past memories
from your old peers
of you and your buddies
wronging the ones who
simply wanted love
because you thought it was fun
you all make me sick
knowing what you’ve all done
was hurting them fun?
ridiculous,
you’re a hypocrite
it’s sad
to see you trying to get with a little kid
stay away from him
you, them
y’all are bad people
he deserves better
she deserved better

maybe you were right
we were hardly friends to begin with
i don’t know you
i never did
to think i was dancing with a poser
a fake with a mask
for an entire year

i hope you’re better know
but you’ll never be forgiven
for what you did
max Apr 21
If all he does is smile at you—
run,

Doesn't leaving me mean a little less if you left my life
But never loved to begin with?
You never loved to begin with
You never loved me
winnings for the lucky, living just takes painkillers
Apr 20 · 68
Untitled
max Apr 20
we were weak
all of us were fragile
that’s why we broke
no strong foundation
only pretend
if killing yourself would have made me happy
i wouldn’t have phoned a friend
draft
Apr 20 · 293
wasted away
max Apr 20
cant pretend that i was perfect,
leavin you in fear
got ******* expelled for standing up for lgbt rights lol *******
max Apr 8
you can’t hate someone for loving themselves just because you don’t
you’re insecure
and i am not
not anymore
go ahead, hate
but the love you want
will never reciprocate
get on your knees
and cry
do the shadow work
learn to fly
a bird has to learn when getting thrown
from the trees
otherwise it will die
you will not get carried by the breeze
i’m here because i worked
i’m here because i tried
i love the world with pride
if you love the universe
the universe herself will provide
Apr 7 · 148
Untitled
max Apr 7
see i knew it was different
when you fell and i kept cheering
but when i fell,
you kept walking
you turned around and averted your eyes
but when you fell i helped you up
despite the painful screams i still tried
but when i was hurting
you went inside
you went to hide

i knew we weren’t the same
when a pen dropped and you’d run
but i’d go find the sound
and pick the pen up

you left a mess
and i cleaned up

i’m not on a high horse
i’m simply better
than you, at least
because i learn
because i try
because i’m not afraid of the unknown
and i push away my pride
you’re a pig
i’ll say it, i admit
you’re the worse thing that ever happened to me
but thank you,
cause i learned from it
<3
max Apr 7
you can pray for my downfall
for your whole unhappy life
it does you no good
it doesn’t affect mine
my mind is shielded
i’m constantly on the run
my wounds have healed
my heart is no longer  undone
don’t rage at me
Because you shot yourself
with your own gun
just for fun
you can pray for my downfall
all you want
but i will always land on my feet
and resume my daily run
here’s to hoping for the best i suppose
Apr 6 · 95
i hope this works
max Apr 6
i’m happy
im happy for me
i hope it works out with her
in a genuine way
because i actually like her
not because it just seems like the right thing to do
like it was with him
or because she’s the only thing keeping me alive
like it was with you
but an actual genuine feel

being wanted is so much better
than being needed
max Apr 6
i can’t explain
i’m on a different plane
i’m not the same

i’m so much better
head strong
no matter the weather
now i don’t care
not maliciously
i simply do not care
for anyone
and it’s nice

coming out of my shell,
smiling and free
my only goal
is to make everyone smile
that’s including me
because now, i’m finally somebody
i always have been
i’ve always deserved to be happy
but when its foggy
it’s kind of hard to see
Mar 20 · 235
i mean, isn’t it?
max Mar 20
isn’t it time to move on?
it is
and i have
but moving on
i’ve found better things
that doesn’t mean to hate you, though

i moved on
but that doesn’t mean i let go
of everything
it just makes everything hurt
much less
i’m happy
i’ve moved on
because yeah
it was time to move on
but
i still care about you
and i always will
i don’t see you anymore nor do i know who you are but this poem still stands, i still semi care
max Mar 7
I thought I was so poetic

I shrug now, but I though I was revolutionary,
so quirky-
Beware the Ides of March,
I had just read Julius Caesar for the first time,
Beware the Ides of March,
that little kid, me, he was so creative,
so caring, so funny,
so
sad
oh, little me was very sad,
only a year apart from now, yet still
little me, I thought I was so different
I thought I would make a change, last year, today
March 5,
I’d warn people beforehand as well but,
honestly, it was a code for “help me,”
I’d say “beware the ides of march” jokingly,
only-
I wasn’t joking I meant it
I said it again, I would say
Beware the Ides of March
keep in mind, wow, what a sad kid
I would say it again,

jokingly.

The first day, March first,
day 1, first day of march
I met realization;
I’d often stop throughout my day, in shock
fear
hesitation
March 2nd,
oh,
this is the month
March 3rd comes fast
I sit
I sit in my room and look around,
this is the week, I thought to myself,
I kept moving
March 4th
I was quiet,
at first,
then remembered, tomorrow
March 5th
I had to be happy I had to be loud,
today was the day after all,
I would be remembered
I would be loved
things would be okay
after today,
like a sacrifice.
I treated life like a sacrifice,
why?

March 5th,
Beware the Ides of March,
Today,
One year

Beware the Ides of March;
today a year ago I wrote my suicide note,
from a year ago to today, i will have been standing here,
alive,
I survived
I didn’t follow through with it,
no, it wasn’t fear that stopped me,
it wasn’t lack of commitment,

Something just didn’t let me go that day
and I looked up
I stood up
I kept going

I didn’t have a single suicidal thought today
A year ago today, I tried to **** myself
but today,
Today I am okay
I’m thankful i kept going
Mar 7 · 120
Untitled(DRAFT)
max Mar 7
A lump in my throat
Glueing closed my tear ducts
Don't cry don't cry
You have no valid reason
Oh you're stressed?
**** it up life is stressful
april
Mar 2 · 740
i’m yours
max Mar 2
Well, open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and, ****, you're free
And look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love, love
Mar 1 · 138
bleachers
max Mar 1
I wanna get better
While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines
I was losing my mind 'cause the love,
the love, the love, the love, the love
That I gave wasted on a nice face
In a blaze of fear I put a helmet on a helmet
Counting seconds through the night and got carried away
So now I'm standing on the overpass screaming at the cars,

Hey, I wanna get better!
i was broken til i wanted to change
Feb 25 · 102
ouch!
max Feb 25
I get my rage from my mother's side
And addiction vibes from my father's line
And man OCD's pulling out my hair
Yeah my brain feels like a nightmare

I'm attention deficit
And my anxiety's loving it
When I think about possibly dying
I wonder if i'm really ok?

Ouch! Life hurts like that
When hearts and panic stress attacks
And even though I feel like hell sometimes
I kinda always find a silver lining

Ouch! My smile's bruised
It's often that I feel confused
But even though I feel like hell is waiting
I know ima be ok
seth 78
Feb 21 · 104
Untitled
max Feb 21
i felt so helpless
he grabbed me and i went still
i left
i didn’t leave
but something in my mind did
i left
i couldn’t move
i could have but i didn’t
i felt trapped
i didn’t move
why didn’t i move
why me :/ why is it always me man
max Feb 21
i have no thoughts
nothing good
nothing bad
subtle confusion sets in
dissociation
my mind is an empty void
maybe not empty
but transparent
it’s all there
all the thoughts still fly by
but i can’t see them zoom
around my mind
typically fogged by the dust
they kick up
still it’s more of a violent wind
i can’t see anything
like a hurricane
slits down to my knees
so much for 2 months clean
Feb 16 · 147
Untitled
max Feb 16
I am what I am
I know what I know
I'll let you down if you let me too close
You'll catch me running away
then you'll know
I can't change
Guess you could blame it on my
left-side brain
I should know better but you know
I know, I know
I ain't ever gonna change
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