how can i simultaneously be moving forward while falling back so fast i can't recognize the hell i'm returning to until i'm already there
will you just leave me alone
terror is feeling like you're losing everything: your mind, your friends, your family, your sanity, every single unique characteristic about yourself, and knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it
Will everyone around me show me enough love to forget about who I was? I want to change. I swear, I really want to change. I know how I want to change. I know exactly what I want to become. I going to be who I want to be. I am going to be someone who is satisfied with their image and who is proud of their actions. I am going to be someone who is never ashamed of past actions and is never hurting other people with their own voice, thoughts, actions. I am going to be me.
Hate is a coiling gust of air seeking it's way out
murky and cold
in complacent instinct.
While hate can be tofu to a child expecting sweets,
apathy is nothing but the silent flickering of a neon vacancy sign.
Hate is bottled
Apathy is free,
Hate is muscular
it shouts and threatens
while the other beckons,
just to push you away.
One: lava fit into a mold.
Two: so hot it becomes cold.
Hate is the fire
and apathy the barren field of ash
from which no phoenix shall rise.
ink stained fingers clasp a cigarette
you bring it to your lips
inhale as though it will give you some relief from your problems
you wear shades at night
hiding behind mirrored lenses
like you know someone is watching
I look away, trying not to be that someone
but my gaze finds it way back to you
Always back to you
and maybe I'm hoping that one day
I'll find you, shades off
looking back at me too