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811 · Jul 2013
My useless muse
martin Jul 2013
"Aren't you going to write something today martin?"
-No shut up-
"You really ought to you know."
-Why? I don't have to write something every day. Anyway, who are you?-
"I'm your muse."
-Well it's your job then. Come on, 'a'muse me ha ha.  I'm waiting. Cough up or shut up.-

"Don't you think you're being slightly unreasonable? As your muse I can give you an idea but you have to run with it. I don't present it as a fait accompli do I?   So now, how about a limerick?"
-Go on then-
"What do you mean go on then? What's on your mind today?  The sea, the stars, the sky, outer space?"
-Just you at the moment muse.  Ok, just listen to this then leave me alone.-

                   My useless excuse for a muse
                   Is hardly the one I would choose
                   He isn't much cop
                   He argues a lot
                   And when asked to perform will refuse

"Mmm...not your best but...I knew there was something in there waiting to come out. Just needed a little **** didn't it?
-Mess off muse, or I'll give you a little ****.-
"Bye, see you tomorrow. Perhaps you'll be in a better mood."
-*******-
811 · Dec 2014
Take him Jolene
martin Dec 2014
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Do you really want to take my man?
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
If you do, be my guest you can

I have to say you've lost your looks
Your folks are all a bunch of crooks
And it seems your teeth have all gone green

And if he is your choice in men
I would advise to think again
But if you're sure then please feel free Jolene

He farts a bit in his sleep
At times it's all I do to keep
From shoving a big cork right up his ***

But if you want to take him on
Go ahead I'll cheer you on
I'll even contribute a little sum

He sits around here drinking beer
To fix the gate he takes all year
He's got the biggest belly you have ever seen

But if you think he's right for you
Then I'll raise a glass or two
He's yours with pleasure take him now Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Do you really want to take my man?
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
If you do be my guest you can
808 · Mar 2012
Perfect parting
martin Mar 2012
Begun in haste and desperation
Very soon we parted

You told your friends what a ***
I told mine I had won

It was the perfect parting to a union
We never should have started
807 · Dec 2012
We love you Liz
martin Dec 2012
How can I put into few words
What we think of her?

How can I say in just a few lines
How proud she has made us, so many times?

She is just a woman, but so much more
             A figure head
                         Ambassador
                                   Diplomat
                                           Sovereign bold

And like a sovereign
Worth much more
Than her weight in gold
Our Liz.....our Queen
807 · Jan 2015
Nothing left - a rondeau
martin Jan 2015
When there is nothing left to say
Pleas, half-formed unspoken fade
No last chances on a plate
No dying breath to resuscitate
All our jokers, aces played

Reluctant still to move away
Familiarity urges us to stay
Use the door, close the gate
When there is nothing left to say

The mirage that was yesterday
Crumbles into dust today
No more fire in the grate
All burnt out so why wait
The path untrodden leads the way
When there is nothing left to say
806 · Feb 2012
Frightened fish
martin Feb 2012
o                                          
                          o                                                                ­                                          o
                                                               ­                                                                 ­  o
I'm a weeny fish                                                I could try blowing lots of bubbles
In a big blue scary sea                                      That would surely show'em
If I don't do something pretty soon                  Or maybe I should think a while
No-one's going to notice me                             And write a little poem

                          
                                ­    I'm a little flat fish
                                    A frightened little sole
                                    The sea is way too big for me
                                     I want to live in a bowl
Do I need therapy?  I think not, just a bottle of wine.
800 · Aug 2012
It's over (senryu)
martin Aug 2012
.                  Bad news from doctor                 .
             won't make old bones after all
.                   All goes too quickly                    .
Have a memorial service to attend tomorrow.
799 · May 2015
iphone
martin May 2015
Sunday 10th May
Sunny currently
The high will be 19 degrees
Mostly clear tonight with a low of 11 degrees
Calendar
No events
****** phone knows everything
796 · Feb 2013
14 Feb
martin Feb 2013
I will be your storyteller
Just stay here with me
We can show each other
Things we never would have believed

I will keep you company
At the end of every day
I will lull you off to sleep
If you let me stay

I will build a house
Made from hearts of oak
I will warm your water up
When you want a soak

I will write you poems
About the moon, the stars, the clouds, the sky
I will stay with you
Until the day I die

Because you're the one who's good to have around
You're the one I'm glad I found
I may not say I love you all the time
But I do,
My special valentine
796 · Sep 2013
Gunnerside Gyll
martin Sep 2013
Explore the well-worn tracks leading to the mines
The stone-arched gateways to the shafts
The ruined smelt mills and the tips,
Remnants from a bygone time

Say a little thank you to the men who built and trod these paths
For their lives were often short and their work was hard
Imagine you can hear them sing as they wind on through the hills
And hear their clogs against the stones echo down the gylls

Look down, now the only sound the water as it rushes
Look up to the heather moor and the hillside hushes

Mini squadrons of cackling grouse fly off everywhere
Where once the lead was teased from underground
Now it's fired into the air
Been to the fabulously beautiful Yorkshire Dales, stayed in an old miner's cottage.
Lead was mined from pre-historic times through to around 1865 when cheaper imports came in.  Swaledale lead was used to roof cathedrals as far away as northern France.  All over the hills are the remains and reminders of the mining. Now there is tourism, sheep rearing and on the moors, grouse shooting.  A day's grouse shooting can cost £1000 and is big business here.
'Hushes' refers to the practice of damming a stream, then letting out the water in a rush, which washes away the soil to expose the underlying bedrock.
796 · Dec 2013
2 seasonal 10 worders
martin Dec 2013
Santa brought no toys so...
... I play with words instead



She passed her driving test
on Christmas eve....
               ...No-L celebrations!
In the UK learner drivers have to display a big L on the back of the car.  I consulted my American brother-in-law who tells me this is not the case in the US.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
Size one hundred and forty two
They asked her to move but she refused
What a hullabaloo
796 · Sep 2012
Religion (10 words x 2 )
martin Sep 2012
If religion did not exist then man would invent it.

Religion did not exist so what happened, man invented it.
martin May 2013
My dear the sight is perfect bliss
To prove the point
I will anoint
It with a little kiss
                               x
790 · Jan 2013
Old Jim
martin Jan 2013
Out of two hundred men who went over the top
Only a handful came back
Jim survived, he made it home
Lucky Jim for that

He stood and watched me for a minute
As I struggled to master my task
'You'll get the hang on it'
Was his gruff but engaging remark

'Once you get over eighty,
Anything can happen you know
This time next year
I might not be here
Anytime I could go'

Within the twelve month he passed away
How right he proved to be
And since that time now and then
His words come back to me
788 · Jan 2012
Noah's haiku
martin Jan 2012
Line up two by two
Nice and tidy, all of you
This is Noah's hay queue.
787 · Apr 2013
Free-wheelin'
martin Apr 2013
All the bills were coming in
I've paid off all of them
There's credit on the plastic
I'm free-wheelin' again

Work is done and over
We are with our friends
Corks have popped, it's Friday night
We're free-wheelin' again

Winter's been a long one
Like it would never end
Soon the bikes are coming out
We'll be free-wheelin' again
787 · Apr 2012
10 words trio
martin Apr 2012
Not too much on offer
Empty as the word coffer

Do not send me Easter cards
Christmas is enough thanks

Is it cheating
To give ten worders
Very long titles ?
786 · May 2012
Skylark (spring haiku)
martin May 2012
Lark fly, crown the sky
Oh what joy you bring to my
Winter-weary heart!
783 · Aug 2012
writing senryu
martin Aug 2012
-         imagination              -
in a boundless mind endless
-          possibilities              -
martin Feb 2012
Into the wide, unmeasured, lonely skies
Beyond this dark, confining world he winds
To keep his watch; on moon-tipped wings he flies
O'er cliffs of cloud, and nature's star-lit climes
Above this England, gashed with iron scars,
And o'er the sea with white-capped shining waves,
He passes ramparts, washed with foam of stars,
And in curls of cloudlets loose he laves
To be up there, amidst that heavenly band,
It is his duty, and his life, his boon;
No hand can hold him to the steadfast land
When duty calls, through rays of a Bomber's Moon
When he returns, that golden host will ring,
And he'll be with his comrades, flying wing to wing.
Written by my mother in 1943 when she was 17.  She had already met my father, who had joined the Royal Air Force. The one and only poem she has ever written, she showed it to me for the first time last weekend when I went to see them and caught a nasty stomach bug.
781 · Apr 2013
my old flame
martin Apr 2013
There she goes, my old flame
Her kids have grown, all left home
She still looks the same

Is it fanciful to claim
After all this time
In her heart a tiny part remains
That is forever mine?
781 · Jul 2015
Our Chaucerian neighbours
martin Jul 2015
A family of farmers near there be
That treateth all folk kindily
Who follow by the chapel creed
And gladly lend a hand to those in need
Three brothers are they in truth
No longer in the prime of youth
Though the father is still alive
And longer may he live and thrive

On the corner with his wife there be
A farmer now retired comfortably
Often when he sees folks walk
He stops his car to have a talk
Common sense he has in good measure
And to hear him always is a pleasure

Another farmer too lives off the layne
With his wife, the same again
They have two cottages they rent out
As well as sundry acres round about
Which bring them rent into their hand
And so they live off the fat of the land

A woman lives half way down our layne
Her husband died which was a shame
She must have shed many tears
For he was only sixty-five in years
But she does not live alone
Her daughter lives with her at home
She keeps her house as would a saint
No cracks in walls or flaking paint
Like a wooden ship of old
It faces out on fields that gently fold
Also she has her parents there
In a barn converted with great care

And then we have a bungalow I say
Where the father works on the farm all day
He drives a tractor he calls his own
And they have two boys now fully grown

There is a little cottage at the end
Where the owners like to spend
A day or two to come to stay
For they are vets and work away

Then there is us here as well
But for sure truth to tell
You know me well enough I fear
So I'll not describe myself just here
780 · Jan 2014
limerick for writers
martin Jan 2014
There was a poet who suffered a lot
From what we all know as writers block
He lifted his pen, dropped it again
And that's as far as he got
779 · Jun 2015
I knew
martin Jun 2015
When I first saw your face I knew
It was a face I could look at for a very long time

When I first heard your voice I knew
It was a voice I would never tire of

And when I held your hand I knew
It was a hand I could hold
And never let go
777 · Mar 2012
A moment in time
martin Mar 2012
My friends and I are sitting in this bombed out house
Our rifles rest against the wall
No lamp is lit
As daylight fades the little window frames the moon
We smoke, we read, we write a letter home
We don't dwell on horrors past
Nor on what is yet to come

                                                I won't let my guts gush out
                                                Into foreign mud
                                                Nor die in no man's land alone
                                                I want to make it back to you
                                                I want to make it home

We're winning now, they're on the run
Supplies cut off, they're desperate
They've suffered even more than us
But we have to keep the pressure up
One thing I've learned while I've been here
Don't underestimate the ***

                                                     I've been here such a long time now
                                                     Seen so many good men die
                                                     Killed a good few too
                                                     I know that danger still surrounds us
                                                     Even now I might not make it through

I just need to carry on
Hold on to my life
You know that when I make it back to you
Soon we will be man and wife

                                                      Jack
Inspired by the life of my grandfather, who volunteered to go to France in 1914 with the British Expeditionary Force and survived the entire war. It seems appropriate to re-post this today, on the 100th anniversary of the outbreak. I have posted a sketch on my home page which he drew at the time and was the inspiration for the poem. It is pencil on a post card, now showing its age.
776 · Dec 2011
Dusty
martin Dec 2011
I love to watch you sleeping, I love to watch you run
We spend our days together, together we have such fun
All you ask for is the basics and a bit of company
Body language reading is your speciality

That and chasing blackbirds or anything that moves
Rats, cats or aeroplanes are all fair game to you
When I'm busy working you're good at killing time
But ready for some action when you read the signs

At ten o'clock you go to bed, I pat your head and say
Night night Dusty boy, sweet dreams
You've been a star today
simple but I love my dog
770 · Jan 2012
Estimating
martin Jan 2012
I saw a woman today
Her hair a burnished amber
She showed me her orchard
Her gleaming silver turbine
Her warm red Rayburn
She opened up the door
The wood glowed inside
Golden bricks in patterns on the floor
We spoke about her grandmother
Her man was there
I noticed the way he looked at her
I smiled
It's good to be alive
769 · Dec 2014
A man and a boy
martin Dec 2014
It was a summer morning. The man got up, got ready quite quickly. He pulled the door to, and stepped into the street. It was still early, the sunshine was bright, the street like a wasteland.

A small boy was kicking a football against a low wall. As the man approached, the boy kicked it towards him.  The man returned it, the boy returned it again. The man lifted it with his toe, flicked it ten feet in the air. The boy let it bounce and headed it back.
The man trapped it and left it at the boy's feet as he walked by.

'Where you going?'  asked the boy.
'To see my dad.'
'When was your dad born?'  asked the boy.
'Nineteen twenty four.'
The boy lifted his finger to his mouth.
'Ninety, that makes him ninety.'  said the man.
'Better hurry then.'  said the boy.
The man looked at the boy properly for the first time.
And smiled.
martin Mar 2012
Silence  ( say it again a bit louder martin )
Do You Want To Hear My 10 Worder?
-How long is it?
10 words!
-Well I'm not listening to anything if you shout at me
I'm not shouting, I'm just saying that a 10 worder is 10 words
-Haven't I heard that one?
This is a different one
-A different one?
Yes
-Go on then

                                        You arch your hips
                                         Little nics
                                         Crumple on the floor

-Is that it?
Yes. Do you want to hear the longer version?
-Will you make me a cup of tea first?
(makes cup of tea)

                                         You lay there beautifully
                                          Inviting me
                                          One more thing to do
                                          Before we begin
                                          Properly
        ­                                  You arch your hips
                                          Off they slip
                                          Little nics
                                          Crumple on the floor

-Mm, very nice. Have you seen my specs?
On your head
-Oh yes.
nics = knickers!
765 · Nov 2015
move on
martin Nov 2015
Move on, move on, spin the wheel
Don't dwell on times now gone
Survive, thrive that's the deal

Embrace the change, do not resist
Ride the tide
But know that memories persist

Like the ivy on the wall
That some may notice not at all
Nostalgia will creep up I bet

But it's not been long enough,
not yet
763 · Dec 2011
Grandma's sick
martin Dec 2011
Grandma's sick
And she's not getting better
Nor will she

Everything's getting more difficult
Thinking
Eating
Drinking

She needs care now 24/7
Till the lights go out
And she goes to heaven
756 · Mar 2014
Siegried's war
martin Mar 2014
Death's embrace comes often to this place
By bullet gas grenade or shell
Or some other kind of hell

Every village, every town
Sends out their sons to be cut down
For so many good young men
It's how the nightmare ends

In these once tranquil foreign fields
Skylarks sing and blood-red poppies grow
But now the only harvest here
Is pain and death and sorrow

We lost some men but gained some ground
In a dawn attack
By sunset we had lost some more
When they took it back

All night we listened to the wounded groan
Out in no man's land alone
God in heaven make it stop
All we want is home
--------------------------------------------------

Been reading the 1st World War poetry of Siegfried Sassoon
756 · Nov 2014
Book limericks
martin Nov 2014
----------------

There was a young man from Bilbao
Who swallowed a book somehow
Can you suggest
How to digest
The thoughts of Chairman Mao?

------------------

There is a man not far from here
Who had a rather novel idea
To write a book
So a pen he took
And lo it did appear

--------------------

There was a young man from Brum
Who felt a book in his tum
He had it removed
Which just goes to prove
There's a book in everyone

-------------------

As a young man
I felt that I must
Write a long book
about love and lust
A publisher read it
Then promptly did shred it
      And told me to go drive a bus      

---------------------
Yours welcome
753 · Mar 2017
Job done
martin Mar 2017
As a sideline my old boss used to deliver firewood.
One regular's dog always bit his heels as he carried
the heavy sacks down the path. Complaints to the
owner fell on deaf ears so one day he  ''accidentally''
dropped a sack on it.

After that it dived under the sofa every time there was a
delivery and the customer never worked out what happened.
I like to write down these memories partly to show how attitudes have changed over the generations.  I was quite shocked when he told me, he could have killed it!  But I had a chuckle too.
752 · Dec 2011
Ridgey the rabbit shooter
martin Dec 2011
I'm Ridgey the rabbit shooter, that's who I am
I'll shoot your rabbits bang bang bang!
So if there's a problem give me a call
I'll shoot your rabbits but I'll not get 'em all
I'll tell you a story and keep you amused
But if you upset me no bounds what I'll do.

So if you're passing by one day
Be sure to stop and give us a wave
I'm usually here, lurking about
So if I see you I'll give you a shout
I'm Ridgey the rabbit shooter make no mistake
My talk is plain and my aim is straight.
Wrote this for a customer of mine in 2009, who sadly died recently. The family asked to read it at his funeral.
748 · Jul 2017
In a country churchyard
martin Jul 2017
In a country churchyard
Near the shade of a yew
That's where I'll be resting
And you’ll be there too

We'll be long past caring
Or fussing over things
We'll be admiring angels
And their gorgeous wings

Just reach out your hand to me
And I will reach out mine
As in life, together again
Forever and all time
My parents are 91 and 92.
I recently took them to their
reserved plot in a country
churchyard .
745 · Apr 2014
Bull fight (4 words)
martin Apr 2014
matador tourist
bull overcharges
726 · Dec 2011
Thatching
martin Dec 2011
I was twenty years old when I started this lark
I'm older now but just as daft
Cos up and down all day I still go
In the wind and rain and sun and snow
Earning a dollar, earning a dime
On them old thatched roofs where I spend all my time.

I must have done hundreds in that time
Each one a challenge, a mountain to climb
Keeping the water out, leaving my mark
Making the cottages pretty and smart
Earning a penny, earning a pound
On them old thatched roofs where I can be found.

The work is hard, no easy days
No room here for lazy ways
I'm not quite as keen as I used to be
Those mountains get steeper it seems to me
I'm looking forward to an easier time
When I leave those old thatched rooves behind.
723 · Oct 2014
Hong Kong limerick
martin Oct 2014
The eyes of the world are upon
The crowded streets of Hong Kong
They want a free
Democracy
And are out to right a wrong
719 · May 2017
Open mike night
martin May 2017
I sip at my beer in gentle fright
At the local community open-mike night
Never done this thing before
How it would go I wasn't too sure

My turn came soon, I think is this wise?
My casual air a thin disguise
Get close to the mike, speak slow and clear
They won't understand if they can't hear

I reel off the poems
They laugh and they clap
So in a month's time
Perhaps I'll go back...
last night

Tell us about your open-mike experiences.
718 · Mar 2012
HP wedding
martin Mar 2012
As I did read your pretty words
My pulse it started rushing
I drank them in, slaked my thirst
My own they started gushing

Two like minds each other meet
We got on mighty fine
It made my pooter overheat
I had to make you mine

I got down on bended knee
You said yes my love I'm ready
Let's get married, I agree
With haste and alphabet confetti
                                                        ­      l
And so to the appointed time                 o      v
We gently sighed at every line                             e
The ceremony was divine                                      
Our happiest day online                                           m  
                                                                ­                         e
Now all we need is you and me
No wish to read the rest                               d
Hit me with that punch-line babe                        o
You know you're the best
715 · Dec 2012
Ball of fire (10 words )
martin Dec 2012
Comes round every morning
           No days off
           What a star
712 · Jun 2016
A Match with the Moon
martin Jun 2016
Weary already, weary miles to-night
I walked for bed: and so, to get some ease,
I dogged the flying moon with similes.
And like a wisp she doubled on my sight
In ponds; and caught in tree-tops like a kite;
And in a globe of film all liquorish
Swam full-faced like a silly silver fish; -
Last like a bubble shot the welkin's height
Where my road turned, and got behind me, and sent
My wizened shadow craning round at me,
And jeered, ' So, step the measure, - one, two, three! '
And if I faced her, looked innocent.
But just at parting, halfway down a dell,
She kissed me for good-night. So you'll not tell.
by Dante Gabriel Rossetti
(1828-82)
709 · Aug 2012
The Boot
martin Aug 2012
We couldn't see, we didn't know
We were just actors in a play
A play that would never open
Or see the light of day

We thought we were in love
We told each other so
Perhaps we were, but something changed
What it was I didn't know

We talked about the future
How our love would last
Now for you and me
There is no future
Just a distant past

We didn't get as far as rings or shiny suits
In fact we didn't give each other anything
Till you gave me the ever so delicate
Ever so dainty
Shiny
Little
Boot
There was an old bull from Dover
Who thought his love life was over
So he went online
And in no time
He found himself back in the clover
708 · May 2015
you (senryu)
martin May 2015
are you how you are
because of what you've been through
or despite it all
707 · Feb 2013
A limerick
martin Feb 2013
All through school they were peers
Their friendship lasted for years
They knew that they must
Not give way to lust
For then it would end in tears
Reflecting on the theme of cross-gender friendships.
702 · Sep 2014
Gone for a Burton
martin Sep 2014
Gather his things, don't mention his name
I'm afraid he's gone for a burton
Someone saw him go down in flames
He's not coming back that's for certain

There is no time for grieving now
We'll shut him out of our minds
Keep him in our memory though
In the hope of better times

Tomorrow a lad will take his place
Newly trained, freshly faced

We'll tell him everything's fine
In the desperate days of the Battle of Britain the RAF was fighting to maintain air superiority over the Luftwaffe. The comrades of missing airmen borrowed the phrase  "gone for a burton", which was the slogan to an advert for Burton's beer which featured a picture of an empty chair.  The phrase entered the language, and it was relatively recently that I discovered its derivation. Sadly it now seems to be slipping out of use.
702 · Oct 2013
L plates senryu
martin Oct 2013
take off the L plates
graduate, award yourself
poetic license
national poetry day here in the UK today
700 · Apr 2014
villanelle
martin Apr 2014
In the quiet twilight of the night
Waiting for the break of day
I realised that you were right

In the time when dreams take flight
And the body drifts away
In the quiet twilight of the night

We should be making love not fight
Remember all our vows I pray
I realised that you were right

I reached out to hold you tight
Don't let go I heard you say
In the quiet twilight of the night

Now everything will be alright
This is how we have to stay
I realised that you were right

Before the dawn I saw the light
As the darkness turned to grey
In the quiet twilight of the night
I realised that you were right
694 · Apr 2013
Boston
martin Apr 2013
At the end of the run
To spoil the fun
An evil crime
Conceived by a twisted mind
Delivered by human ****
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