You escaped
Through my fingers again
That answer which I
Have been clumsily chasing

With scabby scabby knees
Under starry starry nights
In quiet, lonely corners spent
Watching something indecipherable

A small answer
With such a resounding voice
Which I hope will soothe my brow
My nightmares it will quieten

An answer which I've been restlessly searching for
In the blood on my wrists
The scars that appear on my body-
Intentionally and otherwise

Digging open my heart and sometimes others
I rip them apart, stride (run) through recklessly
But when I leave, I don't leave a single mark

Sadness, weariness, desolation, isolation
All belongings of the poet
I will say hello to whichever one
I haven't greeted yet

Just so I can define and finally see
In all my sanity and insanity
That elusive, elusive answer

Born in starry starry skies
Starry starry cosmos
Descending beautiful

Maybe you might give me a kiss
In all your infinite knowing  
Something too beautiful for this world
At the moment when Oblivion opens
Its arms to me

Looks at me
Quite pistol whipped
Cheap *****
A taste on my lips
Speeding down
United States
Federal Highway 1
I dream that I am
Dead in each ditch
I pass
David Bowie deep cut and
I want to be free like this forever
I try to explain
Using these letters
Cheapening
It just for you
Dutch courage
Nudging me
Neon Strip Bar Glowing
I'm a quiet person
Keeping to myself
But
Born a fighter
Hard fists scarred
Dirt under my nails
I never fail
To wake up
Hung over
On her words
Cautioning me
To slow down
Smoking ***
Playing darts
With old timers
And drunks
People and places
Long forgotten
Bloodied then
Whitewashed
Concrete
Wide awake
Always Dreaming
Dead asleep
In the driver seat

sometimes
the moon stays full for days
like just maybe
it's been burning daylight feasting on the waves
filling it's belly with fuel for our fires

it's the hardest then to sleep
i lay awake counting the ways to wish for you

in my nightmares
you're always just a crest too far to reach
i wake in fear that you might never find me
but you know how
i promise

i shout through the fog to your shadow
as it dances across the moon
"third star from the right, and straight on 'til morning."
you howl back
sometimes

the piano keys weep
as i stir their fondest memories

sometimes all it takes is a touch to send anyone spiraling back
through the years
and the fears of everything haunting that's built us

the dark sneaks its way in 
in our sleep
so i try my best to always stay awake
out of bed
and out of my head

the piano and the storms have become my greatest friends
more than happy to join the ride 
as we bide our time

i sing to the ashtray and cry in the sink
and the things i must ignore slide past my apartment door
stubbing their toes as they stumble down my stairs

maybe life still isn't fair
but it works
**** it

sometimes
i lie to myself
i trick myself into believing that it doesn't hurt
when it really ******* burns
sometimes you just can't give pain a chance to set in

i'm always warming my hands way too close to the flames
now
i'm covered in scars
it's our roadmap back to the stars
to a space where time slows down enough for me to love myself
or at least to remind myself that moving clocks
in fact, run slow
i've been on the fly since the day i came to life
i just gotta remember that physics have always given me the choice to stop time

at the drop of a dime
i can keep life from restraining me
so i don wings
borrowing flight from the things i dream

i am built of what i hate
but it makes me
it makes me strong
and courageous
and once again beautiful

sometimes
everything around you changes enough
that you're forced to muster up the courage 
to bend yourself back into the shape 
of what you have always wanted to be

sometimes
you've had everything that you've been searching for
all along

In fact they will stop on rainy street corners
To read us behind glass black and white
Televisions flickering
They laugh at us and toss cigarette butts
Getting into taxis
Off to some important date
In old gilded hotel lobbies
But on the rainy street
Our poetry is lost
'Neath the hustle and buss
Of their everyday feet

I wait for cigs to appear in a tiny tea can
I buy things I don't need, not out of greed
He gets off late at night, quite near three
I'm not good at loving anybody, any man,
Anything

Why must I love the poets, the painters, the piano players?

I dilute, I digress, as he touches my chest
Soft permeating whispers of spurious love
Pretending for a reason to reach this octave
I'm somewhere distant, somewhere I can rest
A mess

Are artists meant to be with artists? Do they bring out in each other what is darkest?

He lies tired, I wide awake with moon eyes
I curl my ivory back to his kisses and fingers
My cold heart does nothing but shiver
This is a sad type of a music, reprise after reprise
I sometimes cry

And I can't get close, cause I can't relate.
No brain train is the same,
but mines off the rails and no one knows what it's like to ride,
******* great,
*this is why I don't date.

I woke up at three
She was still laying next to me
Breathing lightly
I kissed her and held her so tightly.
She woke
And spoke to me,
"Can't you go to sleep"?
I wanted to keep this moment forever
To prove that it's never too late
Or you're never that old
To hold onto a dream.

funny how it ends so quickly
when the beginning seems
to last an eterinity and then some

all it takes is one missed foot step
or perhaps a mispoken word
or maybe just one text read out of
context to send the inevitable spiral
down the ******* drain

i wish that i cared more, that i cried
more than just three stupid, simple,
stunned tears, not because i have lost you
but because you have lost me and i
can't quite understand what makes you
think that i am deserving of being lost

i will stay awake and stare at the spot
where you told me you wanted to spend
a life time staring at the universe with me,
i will stay awake and wish that my phone
would vibrate with your name on the screen,
i will stay awake and i will do absolutely nothing
because the ball has been in your court
for so long that it's deflated and brittle and
all it does is land with a thud on the ground

i will stare at stamp ridden hands and remember
how you stared at me and saw nothing worth
saving or having and i will cut the strings between us
and wait for the wind to whisk me away