Our shaking hands,
See they weren't made for  
cigarettes
And all these words, flowing through our heads
Weren't meant to let us
sleep


We were only 16
Scarred, but beautiful
Like broken things sometimes are
Rarely are
Young, nicotine stains
Lungs full of words we drowned in
Choked on
Burying friends we had grown up with

How sad
How sad

A year later

Another funeral
We all look older
Wrinkles on our foreheads
But were only seventeen
Too young for crows feet
Unmistakable
Unshakable
Grief painted in our eyes
And we couldn't even look at each other
A year later, shaking hands
Same nicotine stained fingers
On our baby hands as we threw the dirt
On his casket

Another year
*Another friend

They pretended not to notice how much you had changed
But they did comment on your thinning face
And how much healthier you looked
How much better
They pulled you to the side "Oh my gosh, how did you do it?"
Quizzical looks
They didn't know that the weight you lost
Was unintentional
A compensation for the heavy load inside
You tried to somehow shake off
You hated your jutting rib bones,
Losing your sanity along with your "baby" fat
You lost what made you a woman

No no one noticed your gaunt eyes
and the sharp angle of your cheekbone
Like pain
and the way you started drinking
(Although you never stopped)

They didn't notice the new scars you kept hidden with makeup
Meticulous
careful
calculating
So unlike you
No no one noticed how your eyes shone a little less brighter
Especially when you smiled

Apart from that ex-boyfriend you left a winter ago
Standing in the cold
Because he was an *******
But ******* can be right
And you saw the way he looked at you like-
the way you used to look at a broken mirror
Wondering which piece to pick up first
And start gluing back together
The way you looked at your own blood flow from your wrist's
A little scared, amazed, numb..
Like "Where do we start first?"
And "What happened here?"
Thats how he looked at you
*Atleast someone noticed

I gave your voice to the sun
I tried to catch the stars in my hands
But they fell through and cut me
Sliced my fingers into two

There is nothing in the sky but your silence
Looks like the sun burned the sound of music away
And the stars sparkle on the floor from when they landed here
As for me I am nowhere
Nowhere

I tried to give your voice to the sun
But the sound of music burned away
And the stars, they fell one by one
Cut my hands away
Tried to give you to the sun

Our moon is incompatible
November's cold and grey
You have ***** fingernails
Whereas I try to wash the dirt away

And what I once thought was music
Was just the sound of a thousand shattering stars
And what I once thought was beautiful
Was merely a thousand glittering scar's

You are a silly little man-child
And I am just a little girl
But as for me, I am tired
Of the blunt beauty of this world

I am on Pluto dear
You are on Mars
We sold each other out honey
We destroyed the stars

If I could be around you
Just for one day
If I could spend a whole 24 hours
With everything going my way
I'd spend it touching you
I'd spend it loving you
I'd spend it kissing you
I'd spend it talking to you
I'd spend it getting to know every thought in your head
I'd spend it getting to know every beautiful curve that makes up your body
I'd spend it showing you how much I adore you
Even though I don't even know you
I know your face
It puts me in a daze
The tiny details I have of you
Are the little treasure pieces I hold dear and near to my heart
I'm dreaming of the day we get to meet
I'm pondering about the 24 hours I will spend making endless love to you
That's what I would do
If I had a whole day

Cry when you want to
But never hurt yourself
Lie when you need to
But never to yourself.
Get high when you want to
But remember where you came from
Deny when you need to
But not to a better self.
Smile when you want to
You rule your kingdom yourself
Care for them when you need to
But never at the cost of your own self.
Love people when you want to
But never forget to love yourself
Soar in love when you need to
But never expect it back for yourself.

the good continually crushed
the evil prosperous!

the evil tends to stick
being good is being weak!

the good is a dropout
the world the evil surmounts!

the good's voice goes unheard
rule the evil's words!

the good's fate is sealed
gets the devil what it willed!

rules the evil's writ
the good takes backseat!

with the devil infernal
god is partial!

god is good but so happens
the world the evil reigns!