Another night without you
lying here wishing I had you next to me
Another star goes by
I make a wish and hope with all my heart
it comes true
I've never wanted anything or anyone
as badly as I want you
I know that I'm probably not on your mind
but you're on mine all the **** time
If you ever feel alone
if you feel your world coming undone
Don't ever think for a second
that nobody loves you
If you're doubting your existence
don't let your mind tell you that you don't matter
Someone out there wants you to know
how special you are
In case you were wondering
that person is me
If I could give you anything
I'd give you my heart
I'd give you the moon
the stars
even heaven itself
I love you so much
in case you were wondering

I had a heart to heart with the Lord today
I was crying uncontrollably
I was telling the Lord about how badly
my heart was breaking
I told him I felt so unloved
lost and unwanted
I told him I felt like my life
didn't have a purpose
In the middle of my crying
I felt a hand on my shoulder
I felt a peace come over my soul
and I heard a voice in my ear
It said "my child
do you not have a clue
how much you mean to me
I knew you existed before you were conceived
I loved you before you even had a heartbeat
My plans for you go further
than you could ever dream
You never have to feel alone
because I keep you so very close to me
If you could only feel the pride I have for you
you bring me so much joy in everything you do
I created you in my image
you are perfect to me
It's time you opened up your heart
so you can begin to see what I see
You matter so much to me my child
you are wanted everyday
Whenever you call out my name
I never hesitate to come your way
I love spending time with you
I never tire of hearing you speak
and when you come to me with a problem
I never see you as weak
It brings me joy to know you trust in me
just like I trust in you
I admire all that you are
I will never abandon you
Child wipe your tears
let me turn them into joy
There is so much you have yet to see
I can't wait to show you one day
You are a child of God
you are here for a reason
I know that you are hurting
but you will make it through this season
Never forget who created you
you are treasured unconditionally
Remember I knew you existed
before you were conceived
I loved you
before you even had a heartbeat"

She grew tired
She grew tired of listening to people complain
about what they wanted
when all they wanted was standing right there
in front of them
She grew tired of reaching out
only you be ignored
She grew tired of hoping people would change
when internally she knew they never would
because change is scary and no one faces
their fears anymore
She grew tired of trying to be strong for everyone else
when no one would be there for her
She grew tired of longing to hear the words "you're beautiful"
"I'm really glad you're around" or "I'm proud of you"
She grew tired of giving so much
and getting nothing back
She grew tired of crying because all crying ever did
was make her face hurt
She grew tired of believing she would get her hearts desire
when reality gave her definitive proof
that she would never get what she wanted
She grew tired of pouring out her feelings
for those who had no interest in listening
She grew tired of being around people
who refused to see her true worth
She grew tired of trying to live a life of light
in a world that turned dark so long ago
She grew tried of aching for human touch
while she fell asleep at night
She grew tired of being a temporary choice
when she treated everyone else like royalty
She grew tired of never being good enough
She grew tired of being kept at a distance
She grew tired of wanting
when she did her best to make sure everyone else
got what they needed
She grew tired when she became empty
and there was no one there to help her
feel whole again

I was looking at you today
and I thought to myself
"wow he is truly the most handsome man
I have ever laid eyes on"
Then you looked up
and my heart just grew bigger
I felt your eyes on my soul
and I thought to myself
"gosh I love it when he looks at me
please don't ever stop"
I get nervous being close to you
because your skin against mine
feels like a dream I never thought would come true
You excite me
You surprise me
You amaze me
You make me blush like crazy
You make me laugh
You make me happy
So smile away
and keep looking at me
I won't ever get tired of admiring you

I loved you
I loved you with a passion so strong
I was convinced it would **** me if I wasn't careful
I saw a future with you
The future I saw was so beautiful
no novel, no painting
no song, no photograph
could capture in perfect detail what I saw
There was so much I wanted with you
I wanted the makeout sessions in a room full of candlelight
I wanted to wear my best lipstick
with a tight dress and not feel insecure
when you stared at me in wonder
I wanted to let you strip me naked
and make love to me with the lights on
while letting you touch my most insecure places
and it would be okay because you found me
to be beautiful no matter what
I wanted to meet your family
and see where you came from
I wanted to answer the hard questions
your family would of asked me
to determine if I was the person worthy enough
to possibly spend your future with
I wanted the cheesy compliments
the late night fast food runs
and the petty arguments when we were both too tired
I wanted to say "yes" in tears
while you placed a diamond on my finger
and I wanted to say "I do" in a room full of people
as we came together as one
I wanted to live with you in a big house
we would deck out for the holidays
and one day fill with babies who were made up
of pure love created by you and me
I wanted to gain wrinkles and gray hair with you
as we reminisced about all of the things
we accomplished together
I wanted all of that
I wanted it so badly I could taste it
but I got scared
I felt it all
I saw it all
I knew all that I wanted with you was possible
and I freaked out
I panicked
I shut down and pushed you away
knowing deep inside I was throwing away
every dream I had with you
I began making excuses of why I
wasn't good enough to be be all of the things
we both knew I would be great at
I allowed my insecurities to take over
and keep you from loving me
the way you wanted to love me
You were patient with me
You tried to be understanding
until you had enough
You let me go and you had every right to
You once told me that loving me
was your favorite thing to do
You wanted to build with me
grow with me and share your life with me
You couldn't wait to make certain dreams come true
You were so happy
until I broke you
I broke your dreams
I broke our dreams because I was scared
If I could go back in time
I wouldn't turn away everytime you tried to kiss me in public
I wouldn't stop you from running your hands on my body
as I got dressed for bed
I wouldn't make excuses not to meet your family
when I had the opportunity to
I wouldn't have switched the topic
whenever you brought up marriage and children
I wouldn't have allowed my insecurities
to convince me that every wonderful thing
you said to me was a lie
I would let you love me
and stop trying to control everything
I wouldn't allow my fear of happiness
to build up the walls that would eventually
tear us apart
If I had a second chance with you
I would take it in a heartbeat
I wouldn't run
I'd stay and love you
the way I have always wanted to love you

He loves her
He loves her so deep it terrifies him
She is everything he has ever wanted in a woman
She challenges him
She makes him laugh
She listens to his words with patience and understanding
She compliments him
He thinks he's not good looking
but in her eyes he's magnificent
She causes him to dream about things he gave up wanting
out of fear history would repeat itself
and tear him apart
She doesn't fool around with other men
because she only wants one
He wants to touch her
He wants to smell her hair
kiss her neck
then take her to bed
He wants to love on her all night
and make breakfast for her in the morning
He wants a future with her
He had her once before
but he let her go because of fear
and he regrets it
He knows she'll wait for him
but he's worried she will get tired of waiting
She deserves so much
but he feels he has nothing to offer her
even though he has everything she needs and more
When she is by his side nothing else matters
He wants to tell her how he feels
He wants the regret to stop eating away at him
He wants to go back in time to the night he lied
and told her "I don't love you anymore"
He wants to stop her from walking out the front door
leaving him alone with the choice he made

His door bell rings
He asked her to come over so he could talk to her
He has no idea what her reaction will be
when he tells her he's still in love with her
His heart is pounding
His palms are sweaty
The door bell ring again
He takes a deep breath and opens the door
There she is
The most beautiful woman he has ever seen
She says his name and he melts
As he hugs her he prays that when the night is over
he has finally told her the truth
and he hopes to God she feels the same way

She was sitting on the roof of her house
in 40° weather just looking at the stars
and enjoying the stillness of the Winter night
He sat down next to her
admiring her beauty under the moonlight
and he smiled to himself as he imagined himself kissing her cheek
He has loved this girl for years
yet timing was never on his side
He cleared his throat and asked her
"you thinking about your future soul mate?"
She looked at him and answered
"I don't believe in soul mates anymore"
Her answer shocked him
She was always the hopeless romantic
She was always the one who still held on to hope
even when her heart felt like it was in a million pieces
She continued to be the dreamer
Even when everyone else told her she was silly
to believe in the ridiculous things
Trying his best not to let her see his shock he asked her
"since when do you not believe in soulmates?"
She was quiet for a second then answered
"I stopped believing in soul mates once I came to the conclusion
that I do much better on my own
All of the love I gave to other men it was either never enough
or too much and I'm tired of trying to figure out
the right way to love someone only to get dumped
over and over again
I'm not playing the pity card
I'm just being honest
I don't believe I have a soul mate
and I'm okay with that
I'm less likely to get disappointed now"
He sat next to her wishing he could tell her
how much he loved her
He adored how she looked when she woke up in the morning with her messy hair and no makeup on
He loved how she smelled of roses even on a rainy day
and how he felt like he was home every time he hugged her
Hearing all that she said he felt hurt
He felt rejected even though he had no reason to
He looked at her once more and said
"I really hope your belief on soul mates comes back one day"
With a half smile she looked at him and said "me too"
She went back to looking at the stars
and he continued to admire her beauty under the moonlight
The more he stared at her the more he fell in love